Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi Everyone --
I have not been on here in a long time and I wish I could say it was because I have been sober for all that time, but, alas, its not.
When I was last around I was preparing for a trip to Florida. I have travel anxiety and so getting on a plane was a big step for me. It was motivation to stop drinking because of the danger of mixing my meds and alcohol as well as the fact that being hung over made me feel more anxious.
I was able to make the trip to Florida without any issue and I did drink some in Florida - just a cocktail or a glass of wine with dinner, but not to excess.
I continued to be good about not drinking or moderating my drinking but on Valentines Day I went way overboard and since then I've had trouble moderating again.
Here's the thing - I don't think that I'm a true alcoholic. What I mean by that is I don't find myself craving alcohol and when I'm out I can (and do) moderate my intake. This is mostly because when I'm out I am driving and so I have to moderate because I have to be able to drive home. Plus, when we're out, we're either at a friends house and they control the amount of alcohol (usually wine) that is available, or we are out for dinner and the flow of the meal sort of controls the alcohol flow as well.
But when we're home those controls are not there. What happens is my wife will open a bottle of wine and between us we drink the whole thing and then I find myself craving more so I'll open a second bottle and that's where the trouble begins.
I've asked my wife to stop drinking with me for a month but so far she has not agreed - mostly because when I bring it up it is the morning after and she is pissed at me for how I've behaved the night before while drunk.
I also think that another part of the reason I drink too much when we're home is because after dinner we'll typically sit on the couch and watch TV and my wife falls asleep. If I'm a little buzzed I'm not motivated to do anything productive -- even though I have many projects I could be doing -- and so instead of getting off the couch I mindlessly channel surf and drink.
My goal is to stop drinking at home because that is where I drink too much.
I have not been on here in a long time and I wish I could say it was because I have been sober for all that time, but, alas, its not.
When I was last around I was preparing for a trip to Florida. I have travel anxiety and so getting on a plane was a big step for me. It was motivation to stop drinking because of the danger of mixing my meds and alcohol as well as the fact that being hung over made me feel more anxious.
I was able to make the trip to Florida without any issue and I did drink some in Florida - just a cocktail or a glass of wine with dinner, but not to excess.
I continued to be good about not drinking or moderating my drinking but on Valentines Day I went way overboard and since then I've had trouble moderating again.
Here's the thing - I don't think that I'm a true alcoholic. What I mean by that is I don't find myself craving alcohol and when I'm out I can (and do) moderate my intake. This is mostly because when I'm out I am driving and so I have to moderate because I have to be able to drive home. Plus, when we're out, we're either at a friends house and they control the amount of alcohol (usually wine) that is available, or we are out for dinner and the flow of the meal sort of controls the alcohol flow as well.
But when we're home those controls are not there. What happens is my wife will open a bottle of wine and between us we drink the whole thing and then I find myself craving more so I'll open a second bottle and that's where the trouble begins.
I've asked my wife to stop drinking with me for a month but so far she has not agreed - mostly because when I bring it up it is the morning after and she is pissed at me for how I've behaved the night before while drunk.
I also think that another part of the reason I drink too much when we're home is because after dinner we'll typically sit on the couch and watch TV and my wife falls asleep. If I'm a little buzzed I'm not motivated to do anything productive -- even though I have many projects I could be doing -- and so instead of getting off the couch I mindlessly channel surf and drink.
My goal is to stop drinking at home because that is where I drink too much.
-
Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
I'm the youngest child - youngest of five - and so my mentality is "how much can I get away with?"
My wife and I drink together at dinner and she falls asleep and so I keep drinking. I figure, as long as I appear "sober" enough to my wife she'll think I moderated my drinking at therefore won't be mad at me in the morning.
Of course, this is a totally f'ed up perspective to have.
But the bottom line is - I like to drink. I like wine. I want to be able to have a glass or two with dinner. The problem is - if we don't finish the bottle between us, I will.. and even if we do I'll open another bottle or make a mixed drink that she won't "track."
You were all right - I'm in denial. I need to stop drinking completely.. but I like wine, especially red wine. In the same way I have a sweet tooth and will eat candy if it's available -- that's why my teeth are all filled with cavities (or fillings)).
I'm a "control freak" so I can't accept that I don't have control over some part of my life. I like candy, I like red wine.. but only one is addictive and can lead to further dangerous and bad behavior.
I don't want to admit I'm addicted to anything. And I have given up candy, Snapple iced tea, etc.. so why can't I give up alcohol - specifically wine?
Wine is my "entry" drug.. but once I'm buzzed or drunk from wine (white or red) I'll drink other alcohol that my wife can not so easily monitor to hide the facts that I'm getting drunk.
I guess the "net net" of all of this is admitting I'm a "true" alcoholic..
However, I think if I replaced wine with chocolate or candy I'd be just as addicted, only I'd get fat and not lose memories about what I'd done the night before.
Does any of this make sense? Is it possible that the taste of red wine and my pre-disposition for sweets is related?
It's not that I'm not willing to accept that I'm addicted to alcohol its just that I think its a certain type of beverage that I crave and that type is a sweet beverage and so a soda or chocolate could replace it which won't effect my motor skills or judgement but they will effect my waistline.
Does this make sense?
Rich
I suggest you read Chapter 3 from the big book of AA.
Making conditions of "not drinking at home" won't be a long term solution.
Maybe the two of you could take up a hobby or activity that you enjoy doing together and use that to replace your wine time.
Just an idea -- just don't take up baking (like I did!)
I used to drink beer. I was a beer starter and then a liquor shooter and then when all the beer was gone I would then have to drink wine. Ooh I disliked wine, but the effect it had on me was the magic bullet. Life didn't matter. Ostrich.
I too am the last child of the siblings. I think that is common but really it's a gene not a upbringing. I am alcoholic. I drink to excess. But with a little more praying and work I will be celebration another year this June.
I'm know I am better sober. I have so much more respect and my wife respects me too. That's pretty powerful
1is2many
I find it odd how we focus on being addicted to only bad things...
I am "addicted" to working out - running and yoga, specifically. And I'm addicted to writing, cooking healthy food, cross stitch...
I think the key is to give up a bad habit and pick up a good one.
If you are an obsessive person (sounds like you are... like me!) then you HAVE to retrain your mind. Then your life with follow.
I also think you really need to have a serious talk with your wife and say that you BOTH need to get ALL alcohol out of the house. I suspect your wife's in the grip of addiction as well... just not as bad- yet.