Best wishes for a sober day, and another one tomorrow.

I liked to drink because of the way it made life not matter. The problem was that each time I drank my body built up a tolerance and I needed more the next time to get the same feeling. Bottom line is my body needed more and more until eventually I was needing lots. A few years ago I joined here and knew deep down something wasn’t right. All my friends would have one or two and get a tired feeling and quit. I would drink one or two and get fired up and ready for more. I process alcohol differently. There is nothing wrong with me other than I react differently to alcohol.

So I decided after a few more weeks of drinking that one Sunday I needed some help because I could quit but never stay quit for long. I went to an aa meeting and for the first time had hope. Others had done it, so could I.

Today I just try to vent off the steam that builds up in me by talking with other alcoholics. See I was a loner,sure I had lots of friends, but never , ever , ever asked for any help. That was why booze worked so well for so long, it solved my problems. Well today I just chat with other alcoholics and try to do some good. I feel better about myself and don’t have to hit the bottle.

I hope you can find some solution that makes you happy and free. Because that’s what life is supposed to be, enjoyable and an adventure

1is2many

There were so many things that triggered my drinking that I never had to try very hard to come up with an excuse to to drink. If it wasn't depression then it was my boss. If it wasn't my boss, it was my wife. If it wasn't my wife then it was my neighbor. When I hit my low, I was ready to put the blame where it belonged which was right on myself. Then, and only then, was I ready to accept help from others. That began my journey into recovery which began with detox, followed by an IOP , followed by counseling and weekly AA meetings. I needed all of the above to keep me sober.

That was 11 years ago. Today I have a great life and I have never been happier. I wish the same for you

God Bless

Thank you peeps who replied to my post. I feel much better this evening and have no desire to drink. Alcohol definitely covers up any awful thing you'd rather not deal with. And small amounts usually give way to larger amounts, unless you're not an alcoholic. So I faced myself square on yesterday and said, yes, you're an alcoholic, Kate, as much as you want to continue to drink every now and again that doesn't seem to be in the cards. I wish I had a car to go to meetings but there are lots of online and phone meetings so I'll research them. Having support is great and I really appreciate everyone's feedback.

I’m glad you made this choice. I have found I relate to the idea of practice. For everything in my life now. The more aware I get of my thoughts and actions the higher the level of practice. Because I am not a perfect being. I need to work on myself constantly to learn how to walk the right path. So now that you have fallen off the horse, this time you know a little more to made the ride better. If we are attentive and honest we can see what works and what doesn’t. Like 1is2 said; be free.

Thanks. I did fall off the horse and learned, even if it just came as a whisper in my brain, "Kate don't you see you have a problem with alcohol. Can't you finally accept this?" And can't you stop putting yourself through this misery of believing you can be a social drinker. Because it's a misery to think this and then learn every damn time that you are not.

That back and forth thinking made my mind feel like a ping pong ball. Never still. Just letting it go forever was like paying off the biggest debt. Relief. And that allowed me to take a deep breath and say it’s going to be ok now. Whatever comes next.
And you can order a sprite with an umbrella and still be a social drinker.

Yes like a ping pong. I'd love to relieve myself of that mental torture. And I can.