Thank you for sharing that glad you are back. I had quite a few relapses last year they were usually similar "I got it under control this time" then I would be with someone drinking and just think one sip won't hurt... but that one sip was the shovel that kept me digging. After my last relapse I didn't think I was gonna survive I almost died and was in icu and even after that I still smoked weed and took a lot of benzos. I noticed even tho I wasn't drinking I was still running and still numbing the pain. It had to stop I went back to aa and became completely willing. I needed help and I knew that aa worked. I know have 9 months which isn't a lot but this is the most ive ever got in a row (I'm 22 by the way one of the youngest in my aa group) anyways the program does work and this site has been super helpful to me as well I've been sick so I haven't been making as many meetings but getting on here I know I'm never alone. I am learning to use the steps in all that I am going through today but it started with just using them for my alcoholism. And it worked. I will keep you in my prayers. You are not alone. And just take it one day at a time or as I say one minute at a time I was such a mess that's what I needed. God bless you as we all trudge this road to happy destiny.

Thanks for the comments BB8484 and congrats on nine months. That's great. Yes, I'll need to go back to appreciating every moment that I'm sober and not look too far ahead. Appreciate that reminder. Take care of yourself and look forward to connecting again as we share in our recovery.

Hello Kevin105,

Welcome back. Your story is one that has happened to countless alcoholics in the past and will unfortunately continue to happen in future. However, you now have proven to yourself the hard way that you cannot drink safely.

What I have observed over the last nine years is that going to AA meetings is not always enough. Meetings are a good place to find a sponsor and an introduction to the Steps but then the work starts. I hope that you find recovery.

Well get back on the horse and ride it, you have to find a replacement for the boozing. For me I found AA filled the void in the time I used to drink. I also found many new friends that are sober and actually care about how I do.
1-2

I still have yet to hear of someone that went back and it was any different, but yet my mind still entertains space that one day it will be. Just the nature of this deal i guess.

Hi Kevin and thanks for your post. I wonder your thoughts as you had the first glass of wine, second, and then your fifth.

Thanks for the suggestions 1is2many.

itsjustme, concerning your question about my thoughts as I had one glass of wine after another, I seem to recall that I didn't really have any thoughts regarding the act, but was just living in the moment. By nature I'm a bit introverted and alcohol helps me to relax in social situations. Finding a way to chill without alcohol or weed is one of my biggest challenges. Meditation helps and I'll need to reconnect with that.

I can relate. Something similar happened to me. About 2 years after I took, what I thought was my last drink, I stopped going to meetings because I felt I didn't need them anymore. I stopped, for the most part, practicing the steps.

Things went downhill from there but I never put two and two together until I went through a divorce and on top of that, had a bad accident where I severed a digit. Then, I had a slip. As soon as I took that first drink, I knew instantly.....like my Higher Power wrote it inside my brain in big capital letters, that I needed to start going back to meetings again. Then I called my sponsor who said exactly what I needed to hear. He said, we tend to get complacent over time and we stop doing the things that helped keep us sober and then we start having problems like I went through. Thankfully, things gradually got better for me after that.

Good luck on your road to recovery.

God Bless

Thanks for the encouragement Bob. Think we were friends before and would like to connect again. Have a great weekend!

Kevin105,

Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and we’re glad you’re back here. I’ve been there done that, got the whole T-shirt. It does happen to many alcoholics, but the good news is that you are back and wanting to start over again!

One day at a time my friend. You can do it! We will support you through this entire process. Praying for you!

Thanks for the words of encouragement Jonathan!