Hi ~ I'll bet there are AA meetings near you, but they don't put signs out. LOL Usually these meetings are held at churches, etc. But they are not advertised. Sometimes you might see something in the newspapers, so look in the personals and see if there is a time and a number to call. CALL THAT NUMBER and talk to someone. They will give you the times of the meetings.

At your first meeting, you won't find the wino's with trenchcoats carrying a brown paper bag. That's what I thought. What you WILL find are lawyers, ministers, priests, businessmen, housewives, mayors, police officers, all sorts of people who are just like you and me. These are people who struggle just like YOU do. They have a disease -- the disease of alcoholism.

Alcoholism IS A DISEASE. You may not have known that, and probably your husband doesn't know it either. It is recognized as a disease by the American Medical Society and many other respected Medical & Psychological organizations. So it is NOT that you are "weak." You are sick.

Your husband should go to Al-Anon so that he can understand and help you. But he needs to help himself too in coping with this disease.

Please go to AA meetings so you can save your LIFE. Alcohol KILLS. It destroys the liver -- I've been to too many funerals of fellow AA members, and I'd hate to hear that you died. I do NOT want you to DIE. This is serious, loveface. I won't surgar coat anything. If you don't stop drinking, you could die. Your children will be left without a mother. Do you want that? I dont' think so. Please stop NOW -- before you end up with "wet brain" (brain damage) or just plain dead. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

Thank you Leeall!

I really appreciate the brutal honesty. You are right too. I want to be the best version of myself, not just for me, but for my children and husband. If I don't make the change now something will happen...

I will keep my eye out in the paper and such and see what is out there for me to attend.

Hi loveface, a wise decision on your part to stop drinking for good and all.

Everyone who is alcoholic here understands that a decision like that is very scary so we keep it in the moment or "just for today." That makes it less frightening.

AA is huge so I'm sure you will find a meeting near you. Go to aa.org or ring directory enquiries for the helpline number.

I felt like you do, wanting someone to talk to who understands, you will find that in AA but for someone like me it was not enough. I knew I could die anytime drinking the way I did and I had to learn a lot about what was wrong with me.

AA is not about willpower or being strong, it is about taking steps to relinquish trying to control what I can't control and put in some positive action where I can. Don't worry about it before you go, you will find lots of people who want to help you and explain it all - they do that because it helps them stay well!

I just googled, aa meetings, damascus md (from your profile)
http://www.aa-dc.org/meeting/search?field_day_value=&field_time_value=08:30+PM&state=Maryland
lots came up.
go. it is so worth it.

Oh, don't use the link...it says (now without the direct location highlited) that it is an illegal link. anyway, google it yourself and you will see...there are tons.

Thank you very much! I will look into it!!!

Pls feel free to email me. We can talk if u would like as I am in the same boat and trying hard to get my life together as well.

Yes I can relate. I joined a full year + before I actually got really serious about not drinking, a day at a time, no matter what happened on that day.
Before that I too wanted to moderate, and especially didnt want to believe that I....of all people...was alcoholic. I couldnt be. I mean I have three beautiful children, super succesful career, all the trappings that that brought, blah blah blah. Anyway, I didnt hit any "rock bottom" outwardly but I sure did internally. I had to surrender. I remain POWERLESS over alcohol in that if I take a drink, I know that I'm screwed. The craving will kick in, and I'll be drunk every night before I know it. I KNOW that as clearly as I know my name. Until I accepted that, I couldnt get sober.
Today I have a group of women I can call who understand. I have my friends who arent in AA, and they drink, and they are dear dear friends. But I have my AA friends who know. They JUST know. And I can call them with anything. And they me. And its such a blessing.

Google your area's AA meetings. Try a women's meeting. Try an open meeting. But try AA or try something else. You like me, might find you need support to get, and to *stay* sober.

The time since September is a really valuable learning experience. Few of us have the necessary commitment or belief in quitting drinking altogether until we prove to ourselves that we cannot control/ moderate our drinking. If you have fully convinced yourself of that then the time has not been at all wasted.

Now it's about how to stay stopped altogether, not something that was easy for me. Being strong or determined didn't work for me. I did however find a solution in AA.

Hi,
I'm glad to see your post. I've recently embarked on being sober for 90 days. So far, I'm up to 14 days...woo hoo!

Before I continue to share let me assure you I am not the strongest person and by no means am I an AA zealot.

Here's what I've experienced....

1) I was tired of waking up not feeling well. I didn't have some drastic rock bottom but I just didn't like the energy of it all. Even 3-4 drinks can effect sleep .

2) We all like to compare to others but I find it's also important to identify. I shared how it was great to put the recycle bin out and have it just have a couple jars in it (much easier to get to the curb without wine bottles!). More than a few people chuckled and even as long time sober folks, they could relate

3) The AA meetings I've gone to have mainly been great. I've gone to men's meetings mainly - where I live there is one every morning at 7:30. Yes, much of this is about being sober but it's really more than that (IMO). I did try to attend one meeting last week and there were WAY TOO MANY smokers outside and I decided to leave. Just like restaurants or churches, some AA meetings will suit you better.

To me, the best part is the CIVILITY of the meetings. One person speaks and there is no cross-talking (i.e. interrupting or adding on to what someone is saying). Life should run like that.

4) If you're concerned about what your friends think, just tell them you're on a diet. It's really pretty easy to do that and, if you lose a bit of weight, you'll feel better on all fronts (I'm not suggesting you need to lose weight!)

5) When I wake up these days, even if I'm not feeling great...I am grateful that I didn't drink the night before. No problem is made better through alcohol

6) You'd be surprised how you can still be lots of fun without drinking. If anything, you are much more "conscious".

Give it a go. There are other paths to take but AA does have a bit of omni-presence for meetings. Try it for even a week. You deserve it, your family does too.

Thank you so much for all the feedback. It is making me feel positive on my journey of ups and downs to come. The main thing is that hearing from all of you makes me feel more "normal".

The more I read and learn about alcoholism the more enlightened I am and how common it is.

It's comforting to know there are people on DS that care and understand.

xo

"I'm afraid I won't be the same person - laughing, silly, fun, outgoing. I've been lucky that nothing has ever happened to me and I don't necessarily have a "rock bottom". I"

Obviously more goes on that just being merry and joyous if you are at a point where you realize it's not going well any more. Rock bottom doesn't necessarily have to be a DUI, living on the streets, getting arrested, etc. For me, I had a lot of bad things happen to me, but they weren't bottoms. A real bottom for me was when I realized I just couldn't do it anymore. That I was defeated. It was when the fear of continuing to drink outweighed the fear of not drinking any more.

You seem willing and open-minded, and that is very important. I would put out of mind what others will think. That kind of thinking can bring you back to the bottle. There is nothing about being weak willed. I could not do it on my own...and there was power in that surrender. That is why I have phone numbers of people in AA, and others I can lean on when I am feeling a bit off, or when something is on my mind.

I *do* recall you mentioning the cutting back, and while we could tell you that it doesn't work, I am glad you saw that for yourself.

Glad you're back, and hope that you find an AA meeting sooner than later. Saved my bacon :)

I can totally relate to you. When I met my partner years ago, all we did is drink... It is what made us bond. Fast forward, we are still together, my partner still drinks, but I quit August 30 2012. I could no longer put my body and liver through non stop harm. I am not talking about a glass or two at night. I can drink like a fish. I was concerned like you, that everyone else is drinking and I am not. But that can no longer be your focus, it should be you, your health and your kids. Sooner or later, all this constant drinking will catch up to you, one way or another. It might feel wierd at first without a drink. You might have strong cravings for awhile, but it will pass. You have to tell your self that you are stronger than a bottle of booze. You also have to tell your self that the non stop partying is over and there is more to life than that.

I was scared to quit drinking. I drank every day and i could not imagine life without it. My husband drinks, our friends drink -- so much has drinking as a part of it. Get togethers, going out. Heck -- that did not even matter -- I was at the point where I drank every single day, to excess, no matter what. Black out/pass out. I figured the only way I was going to be able to quit was to go into rehab for at least a month. It was bad.

But I did not go to rehab, nor did I go to AA -- I just figured it was time to get started and I made it through a day, then another and another and another. I am not unusual in quitting on my own -- and I sure am not stronger than anyone else. I just had enough and I knew it was destroying my life and my family.

There was alcohol around me everyday -- still is. Maybe that made it harder -- but I think it might have made it easier. It was my decision and I have to stick with it. Circumstances can't make me drink, having an open bottle of wine in the dining room can't make me drink -- I would have to consciously choose to pick it up and pour it down my throat. And I know if I do that I will end up back in hell.

It really is worth it to quit. It is incredibly freeing.

I can relate as well. I had the same fears of not being as fun and losing the people in my life and simply just not knowing what to do. I would quit for a short period of time or try to moderate my drinking and eventually it always landed me back in that bad place. Eventually I went from the happy fun loving party girl to a really depressed woman who was missing out on life. I realized how much I wasnt experiencing and that wasnt fun at all. The alcohol eventually further depressed me and the parties became boring because all I did was binge drink to excess and not remember most of it anyways then the hangovers... they put me out a couple of days too. I finally became really depressed and didnt even resemble myself.

My friends left me. The fear of not being fun and drinking with everyone kept me drinking, it was my excuse. In the end I lost them over it anyways but even worse than that..I lost all that time. People will love you for you and if they dont you will find yourself meeting new people that will. There are so many people who dont even care about alcohol at all. I cared way too much about what others thought and I am still picking myself up from the mess I caused. Please do what is good for you and trust that it may take time but you will come to a place where you will have fun clean and how awesome that is going to feel :)