Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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nickyj18022002 09/09/2009

One of the ways that I learn is by asking questions. I have been on DS for quite a while now and have noticed that asking questions is often perceived as being judgemental.

That if I were to ask a question about someone's motivation for doing something that many of the responses come back saying - well I dont judge people for doing that.

Why is it that asking questions is so often perceived as a threat or judgement?

Please dont judge me for asking this! LOL

donttread 09/09/2009

questions can be just questions or intolerable probes. it's all in the perception. Your sincere, so their reaction is just that their issue.

deleted_user 09/09/2009

I think sometimes we just need to think about how to pose the question so as not to have tone misconstrued. Punctuation plays a big part too I think.

For example if I stated that strawberries were not my favorite fruit and someone said "do you not like strawberries?" that would be relatively innocent right?

But if someone said "you don't like strawberries?????" that would sound like "are you crazy woman?" should have followed...

Sometimes we just get our panties in a wad needlessly...men included of course.....

CoogeeMum 09/09/2009

If you feel edgy about posting a question openly, please PM someone who could relate yeah. Don't keep it bottled up. I'd much rather see posted a perceived dumb question, than for someone to go out and make a real dumb mistake. In both cases, posting and PMing, be prepared for some honest feedback. If it hits a nerve, there may be some substance to it. It's called 'truth in friendship'. CM xxx

deleted_user 09/10/2009

cause usually when we are in our disease we think everyone is against us. There is alot of people that come here that are still drinking.depends on the tone of the question it can be very sarcastic also. The way someone asks a question or the wording of the question can be like someone attack us, so we can go on the defensive. Alway's be aware of your motives and use caring words. Also asking someone alot of questions can feel like an attack, again you will have people on the defensive. I can be asked anything it still won't bother me cause I know I am not perfect I am on a journey and still learning all the time. I know sometimes I get short but someday's I am just in some pain or really worrying about my liver status, so I can be a pain at times myself. At any rate we are humans, we all just want love and acceptance.

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