I got the itch today...and no this isn't a tmi moment. You know what i'm talking about, that voice building a floodgate of the impossible wall of things i need to face and accomplish. MyGod!!!! Where do I begin? What do I tackle first before my carriage turns to pumpkin & waste time dickin around on my phone? Is there a future? Have I left any protection for my children? How much time do I have? Should I get drunk? 

Ah. There it is.

My weakness to light a match and burn down the fort. My fantasy that i am Phoenix from the flames of rebirth, a hung over torched soul as i wretch my guts in offering to my worship idol.

Blaat to 2020.  

So, yeah, that's me "in the moment", flushing out my feelings about where my drive for escapism is coming from. Is it because I live with five males and they're making me mental? Yes. That's in the mix to be sure. They are, as a group, evolved and inspiring speci"mens" of their kind, evolved (mostly).

I am about 3 weeks sober right now. I hit that wall again: can I break a month? a season? a calendar cycle? a decade?

it's my decision to face the reality, face the depravity, face the gluttony of a wretching soul like myself. Drink myself sick in an act of self-destruction drama. Here i once was!! A heathen for your amusement, kept in a dirty cage.