A few months ago I had a scan after some weird blood test results. I found out I had gallstones and was told that in most people they don't cause any problems but that I should eat a low fat diet. I immediately thought well I'll be one of the people that is ok and carried on eating my normal diet.

About a month ago I woke in the night with excruciating pains in my stomach. After two days of unbearable pain I visited my doctor who told me it was the gallstones. She said I had to eat a very low fat diet otherwise I would be likely to end up in hospital because the pain and sickness can be so bad. She gave me antibiotics and said I must take them. I didn't take the antibiotics and after a couple of days the memory of the pain receded a bit and my diet slowly drifted into largely ignoring the low fat advice.

Saturday night I had pain which was beyond anything i could ever have imagined. My friend took me to hospital at 4 in the morning and i was admitted. Had 24hours of horrendous pain and sickness. Caused by fat I had eaten causing my gallbladder to constrict. Scans showed more gallstones and a severely inflammed gallbladder. Several days later and I am out of hospital but still not feeling great. I am on an almost zero fat diet and sticking to it and despite fears I will be having my gallbladder removed in a few weeks.

Point of this story - I am arrogant, lazy, don't take advice well, think I will be different and have to experience horrible consequences before I listen to anything. I experience lots of avoidable pain because of this. It just reminds me of my drinking and attempts to get sober and all the unnecessary struggles I had just because I wouldn't listen to people who knew better than I did. Sometimes I am absolutely the worst person at deciding what is best for me. I go with what i want, what feels best, what seems easiest rather than what my nagging intuition tells me is right. I tried to avoid the immediate pain of sticking to a low fat diet and ended up with much worse pain. Just like I tried to avoid the immediate pain of what it would take to stay sober and ended up with much worse pain in the long run. I also have a very short memory - I don't remember pain so well when i am faced with making choices. (It wasn't that bad or this time it will be different!!)

Been thinking about this over last few days and thinking how my character can still get the better of me even after quite a while sober. Life is always providing lessons and I have to hear them many times before I listen. There are so many examples in life of how I ignore advice, think I am different and go for short term ease at the risk of long term difficulty. Hoping that this lesson will stick in my mind and i will apply it to other areas of my life that can be improved!!