knowing that person may also caused harm to you but letting that go and facing your part, and truly meaning it not just a sorry but , living amends

Taking responsibility for MY part of the hurt I caused others, realizing that it always takes two to "tango" but I can only control MY behavior, not the behavior of anyone else, so I need to CLEAN my side of the street, no matter what anyone may have DONE TO ME, i chose to react, today I act and try not to REACT. I can honestly say that I have made my amends to the people in my life that I have hurt. Family mostly, Husband, children, close friends, and when I do wrong I promply admit it, I stay sober and that is the best amends I can continue to make every day!

Telling the other person that they're wrong, but you'll forgive them this one time.....

NO, wait- I've got that backwards.

Seriously, it would probably be a personal confession that you have an outstanding issue or lack of forgiveness with another person. You go to them, admit your wrong doing and ask them for forgiveness. If they do not want to forgive you, that's their deal.

Just taking reponsibility for yourself, even if other's don't. All that matter's is your behavior and making amends, you start to feel good about yourself and you can hold your head up high in this world.

Making amends means saying your sorry for your part in any bad situation or for any resentment you have held. It doesn't matter if you are 100% at fault or 1% you apologize and you do it with an attitude that does not expect forgiveness or anything else in return. Forgiveness is up to the other person and is none of your business.
It also means making financial amends where needed. Saying sorry is not enough when you caused ral damage to property, stole, didn't repay loans etc.
Finally with those that you are closest to you must live the amends every day and not repeat the old damaging behavior.
Making amends is never to include revealing information that may harm the person you are making amends to or anyone else.

I have a question. What I am hearing is about making amends to others. What about amends to yourself? Is that part of the process?

Making amends means changing behaviours and taking responsibility for the harm you have caused in the past and doing what is possible to right those wrongs without causing any more harm whilst doing so. It's clearing away wreckage and it's repairing the past - it's recognizing patterns and then changing them - it's cleaning house and moving on - lastly, I would say it is reconnecting with the human race and reestablishing prior relations and maintaining new ones.

It's not, despite popular opinion, saying you are sorry - the people we want to say we are sorry to already know that we were sorry.

Amendment is a correction, ie: to ammend the consitution.
to correct a worng. The biggest amend any alcoholic can make is to live life sober ,one day at a time. You don't believe me? Try it. We hurt our selves, yes very much.

In response to #6 - I believe that the best way I can make amends to myself is to recover and grow to be the best person I can be.

Absolutely 2hearts, If I can't make amends and forgive myself, how can I ever expect to do the same with others. Even though I was a terrible drunk, I was always the one responsible for all my actions. I am unable to change the past, but I will never forget what I have done, so that I remember where I never want to return. God Bless my Friendi

so what if you make amneds to someone etc a shopkeeper or family member an d they refuse to forgive you , do u just let go

Mel you have done your part. Cleaned your side of the street, that is all we can do. What they do is up to them not us.

To me making amends is like taking a giant size gorilla and making love to the gorilla. Then trying to stop. You can't stop making love to a gorilla until the gorilla says to stop.

Making amends really sucks and I hate doing it every time I am stuck with my mouth leading myself down to ally of making love to a gorilla.

like i was told do not put your self on your ammends list thats selfish if your alcoholic you have been doing for you your whole life your ammends is to recover like what someone else said. ammends is the 9th step. it should have been preceeded by a thorough 4th 5th 6 and 7th step. the directions i was given after my sponsor reviewed my 8th step list with me is to call the ppl on the list up we ask them if we could have about 20 minutes of thier time to make our ammends. we get thier permision first if it is ok. we do not spring ammends on anyone. we explain to them that were in aa and were on our 9th step. explain to them what a 9th step is. we then from the heart tell them what harms we ahev done to them. we do not bring up anything they have done we are there to sweep our side of the street off. after we have said our part. we tell them we may not fully know how these things harmed them but what would they have us do to make this right between them and us. then we shut up. and let them say thier peace. at this time harms that we did that we didnt know about may be bought up by the ppl. then once that is done we set out to do what they wanted us to do to make these harms right.
I have completed all my ammends other than my living ammends which ill be doing for the rest of my life. ammends are a great experience and it was thru that process that i began to have diginity what alcohol and all that went with it stole from me.

i apply what's on the walls on our banners to
Myself first-

The programme is designed to help me before I go making amends ,or apologizing to others-
I'm not interested in profering apologies to others prior to healing me first-
I care nothing nor can I if I'm helping others Heal when I hate the prick staring in the mirror-Heal thy self first-then have a go at proffering apologies to those whom witnessed some drunken shit I did-