Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I have always loved wine. No other alcohol. I just love wine. It feels "adult" to me to start my days with a great cup of coffee and end them with a nice cabernet and piece of chocolate. This is how it started for me. Now, on my third marriage, so much life has happened....I'm 40 now. Three great kids, all healthy, a step son with panic disorder and his Dad, my husband, has Bipolar Disorder, Gambling addiction that is so, so, so, bad, and Panic Disorder. LIFE is not easy, which only serves to remind me that this is not our home, heaven is. I have a decent life in that I am a stay at home mom, live in a gorgeous home, and can basically have whatever I want or need, when my husband doesn't gamble all the money away. LOVE kids, the holidays, and notice every tiny "little joy" in life. Basically, I have always enjoyed and found joy in life. Always. I'm going through early menopause, which can be tough, am on Prozac for hormonal related anxiety, and now my one glass of wine over these past five years has gone to two, maybe a third (nightly). I'm alone a lot because my husband is a business man and gambler, so sometimes, I will be alone watching a movie and stop just short of finishing the bottle...I try not to, but when its two or three open bottles, hmmmm...I finish them and lose track. Add to that that we live in a neighborhood with other stay at home moms whose husbands are gone and we do have $, when hubby hasn't gambled it all away, and my lifestyle lends to the availability of good wine and people to drink it with. The problem is I think my children are picking up on it. My step son joked about me being an "alcoholic", and as my mother was, well, I'm wondering if I am heading in that direction or am I there already? Can I stop drinking for a month or two? I was going to give it up for Lent but it was just too hard. I love my end of day wine. If I could leave it to one glass, no problem, but when I know no one is looking, I will go overboard, and I do sneak it....I put it in coffee mugs cause I don't want my kids to think mom is "drinking wine again on a school night". I have never drank and drove. I'm at home. I always make sure my chores, errands, etc....are done. But, it is a problem now that the kids are getting older that I can't run and pick a teen up from (friends' house, etc....) after 6 because I will have gotten into the vino. And, if I were to be honest here, I'm sure 2.5 glass average a night for five nights, plus the nights I have more with the neighbor girls or friends, Steelers parties, movie nights.....there is always a great opportunity to drink wine (its somewhat accepted almost), is probably about 22 glasses of wine a week, and I can't say I am always pouring 6 oz glasses. I've been very honest here. Do you all think I am an alcoholic or that I just abuse alcohol?
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In answer to your question, I think that you are probably an alcoholic or at the very least a potential future alcoholic. However, it is not what I or anyone else thinks that matters so much as what you think. Regardless of the title that you apply, alcohol is causing problems in your life and it would be wise for you to quit.
You have described some common alcoholic traits in your post. You love wine and you feel the need to justify it by adding No other alcohol. You mention your husbands gambling etc. a number of times and again you may be using that as justification for your drinking. Your one glass of wine has gone to two or maybe a third nightly and sometimes finishing the bottle and that shows progression which is one of the symptoms of alcoholism.
The fact that you wanted to give up drinking for Lent but found it too hard is another telling factor. That was my experience over six years ago when I decided to stop for Lent. After about a week I found a reason (a genuine reason I felt at the time) to drink for one night and the following week another genuine reason. Three days later I was drinking more than ever and knew that I could not stop on my own. I struggled with it for a few more months of pure hell and then went to an AA meeting.
Putting wine in a coffee mug brought back memories. I put whiskey in a similar mug as nobody could see it although they sure could smell it. Alcoholic logic is a funny thing and for me it meant never filling up the mug past half way because if I did that I might have been an alcoholic. However, when the half mug was empty I filled it half way again and maintained that I did not really have a problem with alcohol. Another thing that I did was erring on the low side when I added up how much money I was spending on alcohol. All reasons to avoid facing reality.
I wish you all the best on your journey to sobriety. If you find it a hard struggle or find that you cannot stay sober there are various options that you can use.
If your kids are calling you "alcoholic" they know. this isnt something kids joke about.
I too have three children. I got sober when they were all under the age of 7. I'm grateful to be fully present; to be of service to them if they are sick or need me *after* 5 or 6 p.m. I can so relate to that BTW.
I also quit several times for weeks and months -- and started again.
I too drank wine. Felt very adult if adult is passing out most nights under the auspice of "going to bed." If adult is being hungover most days.
personally I think adult is feeling all the feelings that life brings on; being fully present; and doing the next right thing. That's my life sober and I wouldnt change it for the world.
So are you alcoholic? I have no idea. But you do.
Among today's incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.
Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.
Why do men and women like these join A.A.?
The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had then; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.
Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.
Therefore, these seventeen A.A.'s, and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
Billy
Billy
I drank alone, so the "only" thing that happened was that I got drunk...
But tell that to my liver and pounding head. Tolerance is a biach.
I am proud of you, ann, for taking control and working to improve yourself. Bravo!!!
Are you an alcoholic? Probably. But if not, if you keep on drinking, you will be. You are so wise to be taking a good look at your drinking now and figuring this out before it gets a whole lot worse. (And if you keep drinking like this, it will.)
One thing that I really enjoyed after I quit -- I could actually make plans in the evening without worrying about it cutting into my drinking time or whether I would be asked to drive someplace.
I hope you take the next step of putting the wine down, at least for a while, and see the difference it makes in your life to be sober.