Hello shortchick92,

You are very welcome to the DS forum. The first thing that I would suggest is to educate yourself about alcoholism and if you watch the video at the link below, it will give you a good understanding. You will then be in a better position to decide whether or not you are an alcoholic.

While you are the only one who can accurately diagnose if you are an alcoholic, based on what you have posted, I would be of the opinion that you are. If this is the case, your only safe option is to quit drinking.

You have tried to quit on your own and like millions of others over the years, you have not managed to do it. That means that you need some sort of outside help. You are dealing with an extremely serious problem and one that is also progressive, meaning that it will get even worse with time. In this situation, pride can kill, so you need to be prepared to talk honestly to people who can help you, even though that can be hard to do.

The first objective is to detox safely. When someone is drinking heavily and stops suddenly, it can cause serious health problems, even sudden death. For that reason, it would be wise to have an honest talk with your doctor so that you can detox safely, under medical supervision. Your doctor will also be able to recommend addiction services that are available in your area.

I would beg you to take this problem extremely seriously and to rule nothing out. That may mean spending some time in an IP treatment facility. I don’t know what age you are but please talk to at least one family member and get their support. Once you get safely detoxed, your next step is to take action that will enable you to recover from the problem. I would urge you to go to AA meetings as that is one place where you will find great support.

The good news is that you can turn your life around completely and have a great future without alcohol. You are now a prisoner in your own home but with the right help, you can have that weight lifted from your shoulders and live in complete freedom. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to post here or you can also ‘friend’ people here and communicate with them privately.

People who have this problem are often afraid and will put off doing something about it until tomorrow, next week etc. I urge you to start TODAY by talking to your doctor and going to an AA meeting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMC62Y_5dyE

Agreed. See a doctor to make sure you can safely withdrawal. Then find an AA meeting. Best outpatient money can buy.

Dear OP.
I am praying you find answers soon! Since you are concerned, you are already on a good track! If you get involved with AA I'm sure they can help you move ahead! Praying for you to have strength and peace as you step forward!

I tried hundreds of times to quit on my own and I just couldn't do it. Finally, when I hit my "low" and lost everything that meant anything to me, I went through the emergency room to get into detox. While in detox, I was medicated to help me through the withdrawals. After detox, I went through a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) where I learned coping skills which enabled me to handle stress so I could live a happy sober lifestyle. After the IOP, I was given more help in the form of relapse prevention group counseling where I learned what my triggers were and how to deal with them.

Throughout all the help I received, regular attendance at AA meetings were a requirement. That was all 9 plus years ago. I am sober today by the Grace of God and the 12 steps of AA. I have a great life and I have never been happier.

It's a good idea to talk to you pcp about how much you are drinking and your doctor will discuss treatment options with you.

Good luck on your road to recovery and may you find peace and happiness along the way!

God Bless

Support support support it’s the only way!! Whether that’s group meetings or one on one - only you will know what suits you but it’s imperative that you reach out.
You’ll be surprised of how aware your family and friends will be about your drinking - they may not know for certain but they will be guessing. We try to hide it and we lie about it but those closet will have an idea.
Good luck - x

Thanks for the support. I actually and I guess ironically take care of people who are withdrawing in my job so I do know what to watch out for and what symptoms are dangerous. I guess I’m just embarrassed. I afraid to tell my doctor afraid to tell my family and afraid to even go to a meeting or a treatment place bc I know several people who are in recovery and volunteer at these places still.

Hello shortchick92,

It is good that you have that knowledge about withdrawal and natural that you should be afraid of taking the next step. However, you are dealing with a deadly serious condition here so it is important to do whatever it takes. If you do nothing to address the problem, everybody is going to find out anyway as your drinking progresses to the stage where you can no longer hide it.

If you are happy enough to handle the withdrawal, then you can move on without telling your doctor or family. The people that you will meet at Alcoholic Anonymous meetings will be there for the same reason as you. They will not be volunteering, counselling or working there because AA doesn’t have any of these positions. The person who has been there for ten years is no more important than the newcomer who is just in the door (although the old-timers sometimes don’t know that).

Anonymity is taken very seriously in AA, so people don’t talk outside about whom they saw or what they heard at meetings. I worked in a place where there were a lot of alcoholics and fear of meeting some of those people kept me from going to local meetings for a long time. However, my fears were groundless as I only ever met one former work colleague at a meeting and that was not a problem at all. I did however travel thirty miles to get to meetings at the beginning, in case anyone would know me. A few months later, I realised that it wasn’t important and I started going to local meetings.

What I would suggest is that you don’t over-analyse it. Just grasp the nettle, walk in the door of an AA meeting and your life can change forever.

I was afraid to go to meetings because I thought I might know people too and thought it would impact my career. I never saw anyone I knew so I can't say what would've happened. I do know that once you tell someone you're an alcoholic you can't go back and for me, there's no need to tell people that might be judgemental or put me in that "alcoholic" box. I'm hard enough on myself so I dont need to deal with that.

However, if AA ends up saving your life than the risk was greater than the reward. Some people don't figure it out until its too late

Its not like if you know people at the meeting they would have any right to jugde since theyre in the same spot. I wish you the best....I was glad I ended up trying out the meetings.

For me it’s not really even seeing people I know there as it is seeing the people that I know in recovery. I honestly can’t trust them to not tell people outside of AA even though you’re not suppose to. When I went through my really bad depression state one of them found out I had self harmed which I was getting help with through therapy and my doctor and told my entire family. Doesn’t really make me feel very trustworthy of them. I just feel like just because I’m going through this doesn’t mean that I should have to wear the label with my family. You know what I mean?

Your fear is preventing you from taking the kinds of steps one needs to take to heal.....

It was when I faced my fears that life began to change for the better. I am extremely glad I told my doctor, and went to those AA meetings because had I not, I might not be here today. That was 9 years ago. Today I have a great life and I have never been happier.

God Bless

I know I need to.. I’m done with this