Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I am not sure if I am in the right place or not. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and now my sister is rehab for the heck i do not know which time this is.
I do not understand why she keeps doing this, she has a good job, loving husband and child. She blames our mother but she is doing the same thing to her own child and I am so angry with her.
I could use some advice because i keep alternating between extreme anger and sadness, it is affecting my work now because all I keep thinking about is her..
I do not understand why she keeps doing this, she has a good job, loving husband and child. She blames our mother but she is doing the same thing to her own child and I am so angry with her.
I could use some advice because i keep alternating between extreme anger and sadness, it is affecting my work now because all I keep thinking about is her..
Trying to deal with an alcoholic without support is very difficult. Obviously you care about your sister and your niece - Al Anon - will help you deal with your feelings. Good luck with this.
You can find your local Al Anon main office through your information operator.
It's difficult for non-alcoholics / addicts to understand why it is that alcoholics and addicts continue to drink / use. Believe me, it doesn't matter what you have in your life - great family, wealth, great standing in the community, etc. all those things mean *nothing* if they stand in the way of a drink. Look at all the Hollywood stars who "seem" to have it all and yet they drink and drug. So that argument goes out the window because there is an obsession of the mind that we alcoholics have that makes us think of alcohol all the time, and the idea that this time it's gonna be different. We also have a physical reaction that when we put alcohol in our body, we jump immediately into the phenomenon of craving. The first drink invites the second, the second demands the third, the third insists on the fourth, etc. It might be hard to understand, for someone who can probably take or leave a drink. We can't.
And it doesn't matter how much you yell or cry, it doesn't change us. We will feel guilty and ashamed, yes, but that will deepen our desire to drink. Frothy emotional appeal seldom works for us. We have to be the ones who want to change, to stop. And that is why we hit "bottoms" - that point where we realize our lives are completely unmanageable and where we can't live drinking, and we can't live not drinking. You or any other friend or family member cannot do that for us, which I can imagine is very difficult for you. And frankly, your mom didn't make her an alcoholic. If that was the case, you would be one too. It doesn't work like that. For whatever reason, she turned to alcohol to fill that part of her that needs filling. it only works for so long.
But you cannot let this take your life down either. As LindaJean remarked, you will have to learn to detach with love - to care about your sister, but not care for her. Al-Anon is where you learn to live that way, and can learn from all those others who have tread the path before you. They can help you navigate your feelings around this and perhaps how to better deal with what is going on with you regarding your sister. They aren't going to show you how to deal with your sister - they are going to show you how to deal with *you* and how your sister's addictions are managing *you*.
Good luck, I hope things start to turn. :)
I understand the anger and sadness, also the frustration at not being able to do anything to help. It is difficult, and you have to be able to figure out how to not let it consume your thoughts all the time. Not easy -- but maybe if you set aside time everyday for "worrying" you will have an easier time staying focused at work.
BTW -- even with what my sister went through, it did not stop my own descent into drinking hell.
Try Alanon. They can explain to you more about how you can be healthy, even when she isnt.
The thing is she is not the first alcoholic in my life she is one of 5 that have been in my life. One of the 5 is now dead because of their drinking. Killed their pancreas and kidneys, another one has lost their kids, one lost their career and family and she is aware of all of that and she was very judgmental regarding these people.
Funny thing she has always been very judgmental of my behavior.
The thing is 30 years ago I had my own issues mostly with diet pills and I quit, I got tired of feeling like crap and because she asked me.
Maybe that is why I do not understand.
Anyway thank you all for your suggestions and I am looking into them.