This guy is a classic drunk! Please take care of yourself and don"t become his victim. If he holds true to the alcoholic path he has a long hard road ahead with much pain and hardship for you. I once was that young man and several women had to live that disaster. Take care

Echo's of PapaB. Unless you are ready to have you heart broken time and again, draw a line. With you on one side and booze on the other. Alcoholics can only have one love...

Take care,
Dennis

Don't try to sort this out on your own, I would suggest that you go to Al-Anon where there is a wealth of experience to help you.

After 5 years, you know what the next 5 can be like. I thought I could make someone see the light, but it only got worse. We entertained a lot and I thought being around others would help him - I gave up! The arguing and name calling for no reason. After a while, I would become angry just seeing him with a beer or glass of wine anytime of day - save yourself.

I think if you stay involved with him, he's less likely to get help. You need to take care of you - he's been to rehab, he knows where the help is when he's ready and willing to reach out. Don't put yourself through any more pain.

If he had to quit for health reasons, went to rehab, came out and started drinking again because he "is fine with a few beers," then this isn't going to get better anytime soon. Another big clue that this is going to continue to get worse -- he is hiding his drinking from you.

How much longer do you want to do this? It might get really bad quickly and you get out, or you might end up twenty or thirty years from now wondering why you continue to put up with his drinking problem.

Please take care of yourself and do what is right for you. Is this the life you want?

Agreed to the replies....my hubby WAS an alcoholic....and I say WAS cause he died covered in vomit about 1 month ago...I found his body in the neighbor's garage.

He was only 43. I tried to save him. But, you can not save someone who does not want to do saved.

As long as you stay your life will be chaos, you will never get ahead and you will never feel safe and secure.

I wish you well, I know your story too well...cleaned out so many hidden vodka bottles, beer cans after his DEATH.

Sorry you lost your husband this way, ScottsFancy. Thanks for sharing. Hope it helps others understand the reality of where alcoholism so often ends up.

If your at the end of your road get to Al-Anon otherwise you will end up in a worse place than your loved one. I wish you all the best!!

So sorry to hear of your stresses and your situation with your boyfriend. I can tell you one thing (from being an Alcoholic, his side) is that you can't change him. You need to decide now if this is the relationship that you want long-term. He has a disease, thus why he picked up the drink after detox/rehab. He is obviously not ready to stop drinking and it will and sounds like already is affecting his health. I think you should take PradaPrincess' advice and go to Al-Non, but I also think you need to sit down and have a serious conversation with him. I finally decided I was powerless after hearing my family's concerns (for a 1000 x) but my Husband is the one who really grabbed my heart. I decided I wanted sobriety for me, but hearing the love come from someone who is just so concerned for you helped me to make my own decision. PLEASE take into consideration, Men are different than Women, and that even if you pour your heart and soul to him, he may choose Alcohol. I've seen it in my family too many times.

I really wish the best for you!!

ScottsFancy ~ again, I am so sorry for your loss, such a sad tragedy. You have an ability to share with others the pain that an addict causes his/her family, I pray that you receive peace in your life.
J

I first want to Thank you all for you support. This is the first time I have been on here since I left my post. After that night I decided that it was time for me to move out and for him to see that I wasn't kidding about leaving if he ever drank again. He never left I would do that, and I did. He also had to move out and move back in with his dad. Thankful that his dad put down rules as in if he smokes or drinks in his house he is kicked out. I'm really hoping he sees the light. I know you can't change an alcoholic. As much as I wish you could you just can't. I have gone to Al-Anon meetings but I felt like I didn't really get much out of them. Plus it was hard for me to go to them because everyone there was so much older then me and it was harder for me to sort of relate to them. Plus the few times I did go all we did was read out of a book. I know for a fact he has hit the rock bottom. I thought he did when he got his DUI and that, but me leaving was his really rock bottom. Because like I said he never ever thought I would leave him. Plus I was his rock holding him up and now that I'm gone he sees what can happen. Before he went to rehab I would say it, but never go through with it. When he was in rehab I met with him and his counselor, and I even said it then that if he drank again I would leave. His counselor even question would I really leave and that his what I thought about. That is why I decided to leave him. I haven't decided on what to do from there. I still love him and want to be with him. He is a great guy when alcohol isn't involved. But I just want to give an update on what is going on. And to Thank you all for you words!!