Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I broke up with my ex 6 months ago because I wasn't treating him well. We fought more than I felt a couple should, but only when I was drunk. When I didn't drink our relationship was great but whenever I would start up drinking again it would get bad again. After I broke up with him 6 months ago I was doing ok. But when I finally became completely sober, no alcohol AND no weed I have started to miss him incredibly. I swear the only reason our relationship wasn't working was because I cannot handle alcohol and must stay away from it. I'm sober now. I have been for a couple of months and I have no desire to drink again. I do not miss it and I do not crave it. I stay away from bars and tell my friends that I don't drink anymore and they understand. I'm good without alcohol. Kind of. I feel like I see things clearly finally and want my ex back more than anything. But I don't know if he will ever take me back. I think he is afraid he will get hurt again. Did alcohol and drugs ruin our relationship? Can I ever get him back?
I can relate to what you're going through. Unrequited love hurts. For me it was the most pain and suffering I had ever experienced. I went into a deep depression. The pain was not only psychological, but it was physical.
I had failed at relationships when I was drinking alcoholically, but the alcohol didnt ruin my relationships, I ruined my relationships. Alcohol lowered my inhibitions, it was the catalyst that brought to the surface from my insides, unresolved emotional / mental problems. Resolving my emotional / mental problems is what recovery is all about.
Drinking alcoholically is the symptom (indicator) of emotional / mental problems. When the emotional / mental problems are resolved, the symptom drinking goes away.
Another way I learned to look at it, is that alcohol couldnt make me act-out something that I was ethically and morally incapable of doing sober. Alcohol cannot create something that doesnt exist; it can only influence the manifestation of what exists or create the potential for that which I entertained possibly doing.
I eventually recovered from alcoholism and in turn recovered from my unrequited love. I met another women and we got married. My marriage wouldnt have been possible if I hadnt gotten sober. I had to suffer the pain of unrequited love, and learn from it, by taking a good look at myself. I had to do this in order to get sober.
I think part of the challenge of early abstinence for me was thinking "What is there now for me, now that what could have been good is gone?" I was looking back so much at the "what if's" fantasising about recapturing the better times that I was not concentrating on the here and now as much as I should have done. This was a big mistake but in hindsight I understand why I did that.
The future frightened me, all the changes that would need to happen, debts to pay, people I eventually needed to make amends to that involved a heck of a lot more than saying "sorry."
Not only that but the future was a gaping chasm I could not see into - and all this without a drink?
Thanks to my programme of recovery and help and support from the people I grew to like and trust in the meeting rooms, I began the necessary changes. I found a new source of Power that I call God.
I have changed and so have my wants, needs and perceptions. I can be useful, helpful and have a meaningful existence today. I look back peacefully and use the past to share experience with others if I can be helpful in giving them a different angle to view things from. I did not have that when I was drinking.