I need support just as much as an alcoholic himself would. Las week I got the FB message that I feared the most, My father was found in his apartment dead! 

My father was an educated man, he traveled the world, he spoke 5 languages, he was kind and proud and never wanted help from anyone. My father had been drinking alcohol since I remember him as a child. I am 36 right now. When I was a child, both my mom and brother died from alcohol and socio-economic issues. My mom- a heavy drinker, was depressed and committed suicide, my brother couldn't take it and too let the drugs kill him. As a child, these events were hard on my but simply went through my eyes as a sad movie. Somewhat I been trying all my life to not associate with it, but they were my family.My father was still strong, mid-age and continued drinking and juggling life. I thought he had abandoned me so In my early teens I had a lot of grief and pain to deal with. I tried all the addictions and I tried suicide myself but I couldn't get addicted or dieI i wanted to live. Despite his alcoholism, my dad managed to give me opportunity outside my country so I left to live my own life. It had been 13 years, I pursued education, had two children and got divorced. I kept in touch over Video calls once a year with my dad, trying to give me hope to hang on for me! Two more years and I will graduate and get a good career and bring him to me when he is old. But the disease doesn't wait. His grief was strong, led him to drink more, isolation, early retirement, A few years ago my dad told me that he was at a hospital for liver damage. I told him to stop drinking, live healthily, eat fruits and vegetables, hike, and make friends....... THIS is the only cure. But the loneliness and isolation and pride kept him coming to what was comforting to him, or to his disease- drinking alcohol. Alcohol led him to poor lifestyle, malnutrition, and lack of will to live. Undealed with grief was eating him on the inside along with the toxic substance. Whether one didn't have issues to keep him drinking or not, once there is liver disease, alcohol means a slow painful, lonely, dark death to everyone who doesn't change or deal with their issues! whoever touches one glass of alcohol, even if you feel healed and you can start drinking again safely, means death, it's a terminal disease, sadly absolutely reversible but requires major life changes.

Liver disease is the sign noone wants to get!! I didn't see his death, but the neighbors called me. The scene was blood vomit, discountenance and he was last seen with ascites ( enlarged abdomen) from the toxic fluids that the liver cannot filter about a month prior.He avoided anyone attention! He lied to me that he is OK. Working in the medical field I googled all that my dad might have been through this last two months. It led to hepatic encephalopathy (build up of ammonia and toxic elements in the blood that reachand deteriorate the brain) so he wasn't in his right mind to seek help either! His medicine was alcohol! It eventually led to hepatorenal failure ( shutting down of the liver and kidneys) isolated in his own apartment, doors locked. He had made a call supposedly the night before he went into comma!The rest is all that I have to live through right now, and the grief and pitty and guilt that I didn't know earlier. My dad became a statistic, a victim of alcohol abuse, that was mixed with all the above! But he had a choice! To stay sober, for good, to stay in touch with me and stay strong and sane and wise to come to me. There was no chance at all with the slippery road of alcohol he was caught into. The disease he had is incurable once you cross the line and underestimate the consequences!  

I write that story, revealing myself and my life. I am not ashamed! I hope it will help others with issues that lead them  to alcohol consumption, lack of support and lack of will to live. This is the faith you will see unless your end is a car accident or suicide.

Please google renal failure, educate yourself, look at statistics, find support, really reach out to others! Really change your lifestyle to a healthy one, really don't hide or deny it that you are better off. The death rate goes as early as 25 year old, most commonly among people of 65 year old and anything in between. Google ways to deal with grief, pain because alcohol is the devil, even one glass if you have liver scirozis ( scarying of the liver), liver failour, liver cancer, alcohol induced comma....Know the truth and where you are physically heading to! I am sorry for the spell check errors, But here I am uncensoreded, real, as witness, because the one who left behind or the once around you ...are the once suffering the most not to mention alcohol taking lives while driving, the most common death on the streets, even if you feel you are all alone, share, deal with it , find hope or at least think about the others to make peace before you die!

Thank you for letting me share, and I am sorry, daddy for sharing your story. Love you !