Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Howdy all,
Hope god is gracing us all with another day of sobriety! My wife and I have been separated for 3 months, she has said on 2 occasions she wants a divorce. We had marital problems that started last october when we bought a house. I have been a "closet alcoholic" our whole marriage. I was very functioning and because of that I assumed that our marital problems were from her depression. That is how the problems started in my insane eyes. I told her about my alcoholism after the first time she asked for divorce. I since have moved across country started AA and have almost 60 days sober. We spoke a couple weeks ago and when asked if I was still going to meetings I explained the program (what I know of it) and the steps to her and afterwords she said I sounded like a different person.
So anyways, we spoke again last week and had a very nice peaceful conversation, when it came to the marriage subject she said things had not changed and she still wants the divorce. Although my alcoholism played its roll in the demise of the marriage she says that we really did not know each other and that she "lost herself" to be with me. She has said that she became a different person in our courtship and does not know who she is anymore.
I am moving back near her for work. I don't expect our marriage to survive, she seems to have no desire to reconsile. I have learned through the big book "wife or no wife" sobriety is my life. I love her with all my heart but I know my service to god has to be less selfish and cannot or willnot ask her to do something she does not want.
I just wonder if al-anon might help to explain some of the missing links neither of us saw from the progression that alcohoism did to US?
Hope god is gracing us all with another day of sobriety! My wife and I have been separated for 3 months, she has said on 2 occasions she wants a divorce. We had marital problems that started last october when we bought a house. I have been a "closet alcoholic" our whole marriage. I was very functioning and because of that I assumed that our marital problems were from her depression. That is how the problems started in my insane eyes. I told her about my alcoholism after the first time she asked for divorce. I since have moved across country started AA and have almost 60 days sober. We spoke a couple weeks ago and when asked if I was still going to meetings I explained the program (what I know of it) and the steps to her and afterwords she said I sounded like a different person.
So anyways, we spoke again last week and had a very nice peaceful conversation, when it came to the marriage subject she said things had not changed and she still wants the divorce. Although my alcoholism played its roll in the demise of the marriage she says that we really did not know each other and that she "lost herself" to be with me. She has said that she became a different person in our courtship and does not know who she is anymore.
I am moving back near her for work. I don't expect our marriage to survive, she seems to have no desire to reconsile. I have learned through the big book "wife or no wife" sobriety is my life. I love her with all my heart but I know my service to god has to be less selfish and cannot or willnot ask her to do something she does not want.
I just wonder if al-anon might help to explain some of the missing links neither of us saw from the progression that alcohoism did to US?
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I have never been to Al-Anon but I know a lot of people who go and they find it really helpful. Why not ring the local helpline for Al-Anon and have a chat with someone for further information or ask if someone will be willing to talk with you about your situation.
I know I have had to talk a lot with the Al-Anon husband of my current sponsee so hopefully Al-Anon members are reciprocal with AA members in this regard.
In any situation like this the hardest thing to do is often the best. In this instance it is TIME sober and spiritual growth. Literally.
With practise and time we can become the best of ourselves, some of the most wonderful people I know are recovered alcoholics.
Keep up with the good work and know this pain will ease and just pray for God's will for what is best in the long run. If you keep along the spiritual path you cannot fail to find happiness. It might not be quite what you expected to bring you happiness, but it will come.
My Dad and both of my exhusbands were/are alcoholics. I was my own enabler and I did not parentify nor become the infant spouse. My husband and father loved me for as long as I didn't behave like them. They weren't so bad either, just ask them.
The family and friends do not have the benefits of blackouts and comfortably numb. We remember and we felt it.
It's not you. It's what it does to you that's the problem. It makes you so selfish you can not identify with the feelings and needs of others.
I feel bad that I don't feel bad. I don't miss him. Not one bit. I don't hate him. I was pushed past the breaking point and I don't want to reconcile, at all. I love living free and sober. If he loves me, he should be happy that I am happy without him. He should set me free and accept that it was not meant to be.