Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Starting over. Feeling pretty hopeless and ashamed. I had 3 mos without a drink, a month without any mind altering substances.
I picked up a pain pill rx last Thursday with the intent of getting high. I don't really know what I was thinking. Ended up in the ER Friday for an overdose. Felt miserable yesterday so got drunk. Feel worse today.
I felt really great last week until Thursday. Everything seemed to be going well for me. I fucked it all up again. I feel like shit.
I am going to try harder with the AA stuff and try harder to get my life together. I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of failing over and over again. I can't keep doing this.
Fck
I picked up a pain pill rx last Thursday with the intent of getting high. I don't really know what I was thinking. Ended up in the ER Friday for an overdose. Felt miserable yesterday so got drunk. Feel worse today.
I felt really great last week until Thursday. Everything seemed to be going well for me. I fucked it all up again. I feel like shit.
I am going to try harder with the AA stuff and try harder to get my life together. I don't know what else to do. I'm tired of failing over and over again. I can't keep doing this.
Fck
At my meeting tonight, the reading was about step 3 and HP. The reading was page 60 from 'Being Convinced' and I think the part about the actor is especially true about me and trying to control my own life (self will) and all the others around me.
Step 2 uses the word 'could' and you sound like you are open to it. Maybe it is step 3 that is the confusing one...the actual handing over?? It is good you have a sponsor to talk this through with as well as posting here. I know, for me, it was not until later in the steps that it all clicked into place. I think that is why we do no writing until 4 (if you do things the Big Book way).
For me, I knew my way wasn't working and it was not until I went through the steps and let go absolutely that life began to change.
Keep that hope in your heart.
You nailed it:
"It seems to take you about 6-8 weeks for your ego to flare up and justify looking beyond AA for answers. Suddenly you're an intellectual who has left the collective wisdom of AA and must have broader and hipper answers than the old AA stuff, and you start poking fun at some of it, and some of those who stay committed to their sobriety and you wind up in this spot again. You lose the plot, and see the thin and soupy answers of flakey people who don't stay sober as something worthwhile. Huge and repeated error."
Bingo.