Ashley I know this is going to piss you off because I know it would have pissed me off a couple of months ago..I'm sorry..

It doesn't sound like you are ready or willing to go to any lengths...go back & read these responses again.


http://dailystrength.org/c/Alcoholism/forum/6560592-how-do-i-do

Ash...alcohol is a depressant. You'll feel better if you stop

Ashley, Your doing the same old shit over and over. Somethings gotta 'change' girl. Go back over your previous posts and READ what advice you've been given. Up you get Ashley, up and go girl, you can do it. Keep persevering. Coogee xxx

Hey Ashley---I agree with holycrp. I once had a woman with a lot of years try to help me get sober when I was still out there --trying to make myself believe that booze was still fun and make myself believe that it wasn't killing my life and soul. The woman said, "You know what, sarah---maybe you haven't lost enough yet.

I relate to the fear. I was scared to be sober. I was scared not to be drunk. How would I function?? What would I do??

I could not do it by myself. That's what "surrender" meant to me. I had to depend on God to get me through it.

It turned out that living sober is a HELL of a lot easier, and less scary, than living drunk. That fear was simply my addiction whispering lies into my ear, lies I wanted to believe. And it turned out I COULD depend on God, and not just to not drink. That makes life a LOT less stressful.

Beautiful sunny warm days are all that, and more, once I got sober.

It's worth it, Ashley. Come on in. It's better out of the storm.

Phil

Sitting out in the sun by the pool or on a deck on a beautiful, sunny, warm day with friends at a bar is FANTASTIC.....to those who can drink socially like normal people.

For those of us who can't, that fun day or fun weekend is NOT worth your LIFE. You wanted to know what clicked last week? Well, that's what clicked with me.

Finally realizing that I cannot drink socially...AT ALL...EVER....PERIOD. Because yeah, it'd be fun for that day, but I wouldn't stop like all my friends would.

I'd drink more & drink it down faster than everyone else and within a week, I'd be back in hell again. Happened every single time..took lots of horrid detoxing & wondering if tonight was the night I was going to die to finally figure that one out.

I want to live more than I want that fun in the sun! When you want it bad enough, when you've finally had enough misery, you'll be willing to do what you know you need to do.

first, holycrrp, you do not make me mad, thanks for posting that link....I know what I am, it sucks, and I cried while reading....
THANK YOU

also the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and ever and expecting different results......I am the deffination....

Well Ashley, what are you going to do about it?

I have to giggle a bit at Coogee's question cause it wasn't long ago that that question was asked of me..more than a few times actually and it made me mad! :) I hated that question...hee hee..

Oh Ashley, I swear to you...if people didn't know better, they'd swear you & I were the same person. You sound exactly like I did...bet ya have a drink in front of you right now and you're cryin your eyes out.

Feel like bangin your head on the wall too probably...thinkin "I'm sooooo tired of this shit! I don't know what to doooooooo!!!"

Oh but you do, cause I did, I just didn't want to do it.

ashley i agree with what everyone else has said. but let me add this. it is so much better when you actually remember sitting in the sun. stay strong and do it.

OMG, yes, I know what I need to do, and i keep saying tomorrow.....I myself for being a procrastinator , but you know what, I do not HAVE to be this...I can keep tryign to be what ...i want to be....

Okay, I do not know what I want to be....I lot how to have a concrete dream, I thought for so long it was nursing, maybe it isn't....I dint think I want that dream, I dont know how to be anymore

You definitely don't know "how to be" at the moment..and you can't figure out what you want to do with your life when you can't think clearly either. I know how you're feelin and it sux ASS!! I would suggest goin to bed & reading all this again tomorrow morning because you most likely will not retain any of it...

On February 5th, 1995, my friend and mentor George said to me, "You have to decide whether you want to live or die. What do you want to do?"

I said, "Live. I want to live."

Then I started to cry, sob. It was such a relief to know that I didn't want to die. Such a simple thing, but up to that point, drinking was more important that living.

Then George said, "Well I can help you then. Let's go to an AA meeting. Welcome to living."

I haven't had a drink since. You don't ever have to have another drink either, Ashley. That madness can be behind you forever. It's your choice.