Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I was beaten by my boyfriend 2-3 times a year and a half-two years ago. He sobered up and seemed to straighten out. When we moved out on our own, he began to be erratic, mood-swingy, and started drinking again. It scared me. I'd lock myself in the bathroom because I didn't trust him and he'd call me a psycho and say I was being crazy, but I feared for my safety. He's gotten so bad that I broke up with him and admitted to our friends that he used to beat me--he was trying to convince everyone we know and work with that I'm a terrible person who abuses him and yells at him and belittles him. In truth, he belittles me constantly when they're not around and then acts incredibly nice when they are. Initially I received a rash of support and offers to stay at people's homes if need be--now, after talking to him, people are asking why I waited so long to tell anyone and why I would have stayed and his parents say he probably pushed me and I'm blowing it out of proportion--even he says that might be what happened because he was so drunk, even though he saw my bruise-covered face and ears before I had to walk to a Dollar General and get makeup to cover up the marks before I went to work and his parents got back from vacation. They say if it had happened like I "think," it would have been apparent. They don't see to recognize that abuse victims go to great lengths to make it not apparent. I lived with his parents. I had no license or car. He cut me off from my family and friends and told me he loved me and didn't mean to do it--of course I stayed and stayed silent. Now he's making everyone doubt me and trying to tell everyone that I mistreat him and am an irrational liar. He's very upset because he can't afford our apartment on his own and he'll have to go back to his parent's house, so he's lashing out. But he's acting cool and calm and collected to everyone in order to make it seem as if I AM irrational--but I know what happened. I was choked and beaten. My head was covered in open knots. How am I supposed to convince anyone when I didn't speak up at the time? Doubts are clearly brewing. I'm about to lose everyone and thing just like he wants and I can't handle any more. It's too hard. I just wish he'd killed me. What am I supposed to do? It all makes me so very tired.
Hold your head high and get on with your life. You had a narrow escape because bad as it is this man could have done even worse. I hope you have reported everything to your local police.
This man is exhibiting the signs of a control freak who will go to extreme lengths to get his way. Never doubt yourself or let other people put doubts in your mind. You need support at this time so turn to your family and close friends. Also, is there a womens shelter in your area where you can get advice and support?
Write down an account of the things that have happened so far and put in as much information as you can remember. I dont think that you will lose the people that matter in your life and as for people like his parents, you dont need them. Counselling may also help you as you seem to have lost your self-confidence, sometimes that often happens to victims of bullies.
Dont ever think about giving up. You are entitled to have a happy and peaceful life so put this creep in the past and get on with living. Above all, seek help. Your doctor may be able to put you in touch with the support services.
My advice is talk to your own family about this first, it may seem hard but they should believe you and be on your side (I hope). In these situations I would have to say you need to stay well away from him as he seems like a dangerous man and until hes sober he wont be thinking right.
The thing that disgusts me about all these people judging you is that youve had to deal with all this crap and stood by him through all of this and now you think its time to move on people think they have a right to judge you?? Honestly your the one person I wouldn't be judging. None of thos people know what you've gone through and if I were you I wouldn't give them the time of day until they give you a chance to tell them the full side of your story (not that you owe it to them).
Best of luck and add me and message me whenever you want!
Hugs!
The important part is your safety, and BELIEVING IN YOURSELF that you are right and are doing the right thing. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks except for you, although it is much easier to deal with things like this if you have a good support system. Do you have family or friends that will believe you that you can go to for support?? Please feel free to message me any time as I would love to lend an ear if you need one. Stay strong and you are doing the right thing because NO ONE deserves to be physically abused and people who do that usually don't change unless they make HUGE overhauls to their lifestyles, which is rare.
I wish you the best and again, please message me if you'd like to talk.
Realize that he is the sick one and don't let this incident or time in your life define you.
Move on..and don't look back. You were lucky to get away.
For the people who are doubting you? Who cares...you don't need to be a "victim"...you need to continue to be a survivor.
Abuse and alcohol are very familiar to me. I have been the abused and the abuser. It is always a downward spiral if you don't get out. Get out and STAY OUT!!!!
No 2 ways about it. Run, don't walk, away from this jerk. There are women's shelters in every town or close to. Good luck.
Building one's life after such an event can be tiring and seem to take forever, but stay the course.