Guilty as charged. I had a sponsor for a time while in NJ and there were oodles of meetings and I had my longest bout of sobriety not counting pregnant. Then I tried to go back in here in upstate NY and although there were some nice people I didn't make the efforts on my part and have listened to all the steps but never done them. Hence I'm now recovering from a withdrawal day working toward another, maybe final, attempt of quitting for good. I'm glad I searched out this place.

I am not knocking AA, but I was surprised during my time there how many people were unwilling to so much as give out there phone numbers to newcomers for support, much less agree to sponsor someone. I understand that sometimes you just have too much going on in your life, or you're not in the position to make that commitment, but I think it can make a newcomer feel a little uncomfortable since they came looking for help and are not necessarily finding it.

From my exp. being in the program for some time I have found that the newcomer that wants recovery bad enough searches out and finds a sponsor.

Its not up to someone in the program finding a sponsee, its the other way around.

If you go to meetings on a constant and regular basis and seek out help you will find what you need.

Yea, I've had that happen. There are definitely good groups and not so good. I've been in there as a newcomer or rather returning and left without a thing. Other times I have a whole page worth. The other problem I had was you had to always call them and for me personally when I'm teetering on quitting any contact from the outside world is a tremendous help.

Personally I 'break the rules' and approach people that I feel my experience may be able to help. So as a sponsor I reach out to people looking for help in their shares, I don't wait for them to come to me.

I vocalise the offer of help, leave them my number and tell them to think about it and ring me.

Ultimately chapter 7 in the big book talks about how you should find out all you can about a new prospect THEN APPROACH THEM - when the time is right.

Everyones responce makes good sence. I suppose if a member approached everyone that came in the door they would face a lot of wasted time and probably a lot of heartache for themselves.

Wait 30 days to see if they are serious? I have never heard of such a thing. It has been my experience that as soon as someone walks through the doors of AA that is the best time to start them on the steps. That is when they are still very helpless and hopeless in there lives. If they have 30 days to think about it, that alcoholic thinking has ample time to kick in again.
In the area of the world I live in we pass around a schedule of meetings and if the newcomer is a guy, the men that want to put their names and phone numbers on it. We then give it to the new person.
I can remember when I first came to AA, I had no clue how it worked and frankly if someone hadn't come up to me and asked me if I had a sponsor. When I told them no, I was informed that they were my sponsor. I was off and running to recovery.
For me to sit back and tell the new comer lets see how you do for the next 30 or 90 days is crazy. I am an alcoholic and I need help now, not in 30 days. In 30 days I should have already been taken through the steps and recovered.
I am the hand of AA and I am responsible to help the necomer. I am to help anyone and everyone that needs it. If I let just one person fall through the cracks because I didn't do my part then I have failed. Did your HP let you sit in limbo for 30 days when you needed help the most? Mine certainly didn't, my cry's for help were answered immediatly upon enetring the halls of AA.
This is not meant as an attack, I am just very passionate about the program and helping others.
God Bless my Friends

If I' need sponsor ,my great old fiend,who is also a priest and councelor know great woman,who would like to sponsor me,But I dont care for AA that much,I dont like to talk on the phone about my bs.I feel like my boyfriend is my sponsor and suport...I think if you have great person in yrs life that know what's up,than you dont need AA or sponsor or rehab or.......

Oh and if the newcomer is a gal we do the same thing only just the women put their name and phone numbers on the list. Sorry ladies...............

I have had only 2 sponsors in my life. Each one of them approached me and asked if they could sponsor me. I said yes and the first one was never available (and I'm not the type to call often)... The 2nd one was so down my throat with constant phone calls, having strangers call me, demanding I call strangers, giving me homework everyday and wanting reports about it. I think she thought she was a therapist because she had me go back to my childhood and ask very personal questions... This was BEFORE we even started Step 1! Anyway.. It was a turn off for me and I fired her. I had her for almost 2 weeks and couldn't deal with her anymore.

I am currently looking for another sponsor and I won't accept anyone asking me to sponsor me. I'm going to take my intuition and faith in God to direct me to the person who can help me with my recovery.

So why girl alcoholic usuly wont have male sponsor?...hmmmm...interesting

dreamingtree hahaha(she was yrs therapist)...I would hate to have sponsor like that

Euro, I used to think that way too... Just speaking for myself, I think it's better to find a sponsor because they can be objective with you. I think very close friends, husbands, etc. are too close to us emotionally and find it hard to not cater to or see our manipulation when the disease is in control at that moment.

When I first walked in to AA I walked straight back out,I looked at the steps and run out that door as fast as I could so I tried rehab, I tried group therapy, I tried everything but AA I didnt give it a chance, however since I have a amazing sponsor recently iv noticed aa does work, things are clicking for me

but only it works if you put the work in.

Something else I realized too

Going in rehab and other stuff I was trying to find a easier , softer approach to recovery however but once all those doors I slammed, I realize AA and the 12 steps Is the only way for me