Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
AA in Heaven -
An old-timer comes home from his home group meeting, gets ready for
bed, and is on his knees saying his evening prayers.
He's in the middle of his "God blesses" saying "God bless the guy who
says the same thing no matter what the topic, God bless George, the
'cake lady,' God bless . . . " suddenly he pauses and looks up. Then
says, "You know God. I wonder if there is AA in heaven. If there isn't AA in heaven, I don't know if I want to go there. These folks are so important to me, I don't want to spend eternity without them."
There's a bolt of lightening and a loud clap of thunder and then the olde timer hears a voice saying, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, there is AA in heaven. The bad news is ...............
........................................................... "You're speaking tomorrow night."
God Bless...
Lionel
An old-timer comes home from his home group meeting, gets ready for
bed, and is on his knees saying his evening prayers.
He's in the middle of his "God blesses" saying "God bless the guy who
says the same thing no matter what the topic, God bless George, the
'cake lady,' God bless . . . " suddenly he pauses and looks up. Then
says, "You know God. I wonder if there is AA in heaven. If there isn't AA in heaven, I don't know if I want to go there. These folks are so important to me, I don't want to spend eternity without them."
There's a bolt of lightening and a loud clap of thunder and then the olde timer hears a voice saying, "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, there is AA in heaven. The bad news is ...............
........................................................... "You're speaking tomorrow night."
God Bless...
Lionel
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door.
'Brenda, may I come in?' he asks. 'I've somethin' to tell ya'.
'Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?'
'That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda. There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery'
'Oh, God no!' cries Brenda. 'Please don't tell me.'
'I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry.
Finally, she looked up at Tim. 'How did it happen,Tim?'
'It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout, and drowned.'
'Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me true, Tim, did he at least go quickly?'
'Well, Brenda, no. In fact, he got out three times to pee.'
The Minister Tried Baptizing A Drunk
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
"Yes I am" replies the drunk,...... so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't." The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"
The drunk again answers, "No, I have not found Jesus."
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.
W hen the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, .... "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"
The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher,
"Are you sure this is where he fell in???"
Sorry about that.
God Bless...
Lionel
JoAnne1964