Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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hopeinjoy 05/23/2013

I have a couple addictions (which do not involve alcohol/substance abuse) that are completely ruining my life and have kept me on the edge of death (in high risk situations, on the edge of survival regarding resources, virtually non-functioning, etc.) for years now. The degree to which I am desperate for help to recover from addiction which I am severely powerless over cannot be adequately expressed. I knew someone from AA who I opened up to about this, and she was very understanding and wanted to help. She suggested I sit in on a couple AA meetings and brought me with. I do not live in a big city, or near a big city. There are only a couple different types of twelve-step groups around here (you really need a giant city to get all the different specific ones, and I'm not even sure I would find one 'for me' there). I have often thought, if not downright fantasized, about becoming a drug addict. I often feel on the verge of that. Often it feels if my life fell apart much more, that's exactly what I would do. But at this rate, I might be dead before I even got the chance. I am positive that the ONLY reason I am not an alcoholic and/or drug addict is that I grew up in a cult, in which such things were taboo, and I was isolated and NEVER had a friend who offered me a drink or a drug. That's the only reason. I just became addicted to what little in my environment there was to become addicted to. I HAVE FOUND THAT I IDENTIFY PRETTY MUCH 100% WITH EVERYTHING PEOPLE IN AA ARE SAYING, THE LITERATURE, ETC. The only factor of difference is the material focus/means of the addiction. Furthermore, I have read quite a bit about addiction at this point, and I also have a therapist now who has a lot of experience working with addiction. All I have read and my therapist has also echoed that it makes little difference what the addiction is. It operates very similarly. From talking with people in AA, listening to their stories, and reading the literature, I have found that the experience is almost exactly the same. (When I got the Big Book, the first chapter I read ("There is a Solution") I underlined almost every paragraph it seemed, lol, putting stars everywhere, and like every other paragraph I was like omg, ME!!! I was shocked how much I identified and felt so liberated to find SO much identification. That's how I felt (and feel) in the meetings too. But I just started, and I don't know if it will be a problem for others that my addictions are not alcohol or substance abuse (at this point). (Every time I am able to abstain from my addictions, btw, I find myself realizing how easily I could and would replace them with something else, often something more serious. My mind really goes there.) I would only stick to open meetings of course, but I have read mixed things about that. The literature seems to say they're open to everyone, BUT (it states) that it is at the discretion of the individual group. In a forum I read about it, one person said that at their open meetings, non-alcoholics are not allowed to speak. While others said at their meetings others are totally welcome and they have people come who are struggling with other addictions. What do you all think from your experience with AA?

hopeinjoy 05/27/2013

Addiction is an illness.
I think many of you would be shocked how on both profound levels and in very basic, general ways most addictions are almost the same.
As I've said and will continue to repeat if necessary, I identify with everything said in AA meetings. Not just some of it, or some basic stuff. I've underlined like every other sentence in what I've read of the Big Book and put me!!
Addiction specialists echo this. That it's the same.
Addiction is out-of-control bad habit. It is seemingly senseless, very irresponsible. It is an escape that one has become addicted to and cannot stop turning to that escape. It zones you out of reality and anesthetizes your feelings. All of the feelings and experiences alcoholics describe, I completely identify with. All of the issues with coming out of alcoholism/addiction seem about the same for me.
I think it would take talking to people with other addictions and reading about it to know this. If you're an alcoholic who has only been around other alcohlics and learned about alcoholism, how would you know this? I think a lot of what's being said is making assumptions without having much experience with other types of addicts.
I know it because I am the person with the other addictions at AA meetings, listening to alcoholics, and being shocked how our experience is the same except for the material aspects (which if you think about it for just a couple minutes, are pretty inconsequential). I speak to them on the phone, identify with all they're saying about their experience struggling with addiction, staying sober, triggers, etc., etc., etc. and they identify completely with mine (like I say, I just don't mention the material focus, so it doesn't draw attention to that insignificant, slight difference).

okiyoe1 05/28/2013

Here a thing I learned saw and heard in AA ,as so many of us Do thinking in ways that seem unique ,is all to often just a way of distancing ourselves from others and identification to each of us is a way to at least begin understand our common bond is our similarities not our differences. But that in itself can be internalized in many ways the least of which is our certainty that we understand logically and others are not as well informed as we are. That being said ,self centeredness leads us down a road traveled only up in our head's without being connected to the rest of our body. Butt knowing that is at least a start:)))
Billy

donttread 05/28/2013

I'd say if it's working go to open aa meetings and identify with and share about the topic which is usually not that specific to alcohol.

deleted_user 05/28/2013

I spent time in treatment with addicts of all kinds. Oxy, heroin, crack, etc. My sponsor is in 5 different fellowships, including sex and love, ACOA, CA, etc. Many of my friends in AA have second and third addictions. So I don't mention all that stuff lightly, regarding what it's like to have addictions to things not booze. So in talking to these men, it is *they* who have told me that their addictions to drugs, relationships, etc. is different than it is with their alcoholism. I am drawing on the experience of others, not making wild random thoughts just to argue.

But to my earlier point then - if you feel that all addictions are the absolutely the same (except for the material of the addiction, which you mention is inconsequential), then would it be right for me, a pure alcoholic, to sponsor a drug addict or an overeater?

hopeinjoy 05/29/2013

I did mention that sex addiction is one more unique one that has some special experiences that make it somewhat different and would be particularly useful for the sex addict to have others who identify with those specifically and help him work thru them.

Makes sense to me that if you don't have experience with other addictions you would listen to others' experience with their addictions and whether or not they identify with other addictions. ;)

Thanks very much to those of you who have supportive helpful things to say, it really means a lot to me. :)

paulokes 05/29/2013

I can guarantee this is not the first time this subject has been raised and it won't be the last. The core of AAs membership though remains people who relate to the issue of Alcohol, not because of any rules or enforcement but because that's how it plays out in the long term. It is what it is what it is.

This might be heard by some as an inconvenient or unhelpful answer, but that I think is irrelevant too.

I think there's good reason too that we have a specific board here for alcohol-ism rather than all rolling off to an 'addictions' board. People with other or related issues drift in and drift out but doesn't always work out I think.

Learning respect for other people's experience, wants and point of view is important I think. Too often we hear that as "hey yeah, people need to respect my point of view". It's a problem.

Strong opinions often can't be heard so I'll try not to express one past that :)

P

deleted_user 05/29/2013

You make a great point Paul about this being an Alcoholism board and not an Addictions one. There is reason for that. There is also a reason why I don't go over and visit the Gambling Addiction board here on DS. I just don't identify with gambling. Hell, I am too cowardly to spend more than $5 on scratchy lotto cards. So while the idea of getting out of oneself is there, I can find the same thing here with the message of weight and depth that was needed to get my attention in the first place.

deleted_user 05/29/2013

Why not try to find some support group for your particular addiction. The list of 12 step fellowships I have seen covers pretty much everything. The 12 steps will work for you if you can find someone to take you through them.

You are welcome to attend AA meetings that are open but you should not share. It's a meeting for alcoholics. It will not be helpful to you in the long term. If you can't find a group on here try looking on about.com - they have a long list of available fellowships.

Good luck

deleted_user 05/29/2013

You are trying to teach your grandmother to suck eggs here. We KNOW that the 12 steps work on addictions - and I don't see why yours would be different. BUT AA is for alcoholics (like me) I was not addicted to alcohol, I was suffering from alcoholism.! I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

deleted_user 05/31/2013

Well, if you don't mind me stating that, it sounds like your trying to get support but it's not from the place you need it. When you say you feel you can become an addict, with drugs or alcohol, be careful that your not wanting that so that you can relate to those in these meetings! Part of the issue is that you are not open with your particular addiction! Here or in the meetings! You can't leave feeling any better than when you first walked in hiding from your true addictions! What has your therapist suggested, and are you honest with them! One good step in your recovery, and or difficulty in fighting your addiction for your survival, is that your aware of what may be impossible to overcome, and that you don't feel strong enough not to allow your addictions to become manifested elsewhere! First off, try and separate yourself from your addiction! Instead of stating, for example, I am an alcoholic, say to yourself, I have alcoholism, which infers you have control rather than it having control over you! I strongly suggest you work through family issues, childhood trauma or any other factor that has lead you lose control or think your life isn't worth it!
If you live where the resources are few, online support, such as this website is a good place to turn to! Have you tried looking at support groups here for your specific addiction?' I would also recommend a psych evaluation, medical physical, to rule out any violific factors, or mental illness that may be contributing. In patient or outpatient programs may be of interest to you as we'll, if feasible

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