Is there a question in there somewhere or did you just want to tell us how much you like drinking and smoking? If you want advice on living a better life, then there are folks on here who can help but no need to tell us how much you love drinking. We're experts on that topic.

Hello Oo0ReneeOoO,

That is a post that I could have written, almost word for word, several years ago, except for the smoking losing an odd earring part.

I knew I had to stop drinking but desperately wanted to keep going. I didn’t have any major legal or relationship issues, didn’t lose my job, was never in a hospital or treatment centre as a result of drinking and I could add many more things that happened to other people but not to me. Then, almost overnight, a frightening change occurred. Those things that never happened started to loom large on the near horizon and I knew that within a short time, the ‘yets’ would be ticked off, one by one.

AA scared me too and I didn’t want to have anything to do with their meetings. You see, I judged AA without actually knowing anything about the fellowship and I got it completely wrong.

The only way you are going to find out the truth about AA is to go along to meetings and decide for yourself.

AA scared me too! I use to sit in the parking lot because I was too afraid to go inside. After about 4 times of doing that, I dared myself to go inside. I was sweating profusely. I was met at the door by a man who later became a sponsor! Lots of hugs and handshakes later, I look back and wonder why I was so afraid to meet people like myself who only wanted to help me achieve my goal of sobriety.

It's your choice if you want to commit a slow suicide with the bottle, like my mother and so many others I have known...that's up to you, but there are all kinds of people willing to help. You just can't be afraid to ask.

God Bless

Your post sounds very familiar. I've never been to an AA meeting but speaking to people in this support group I am more open to it than I ever was. I see a counsellor instead to deal with the underlying issues of why I drink. Or used to drink :-)
I used to lose belongings too, never a shoe though, but practically everything else. Losing items like that is one thing but it soon develops into losing your memory, your mind, people you love and yourself along the way. There's a fine line between loving the drinking (And smoking) and tipping over the edge and I hope you manage to get some help and support to pull yourself away from that line.
Wish you all the best :-)

Thank you all for your understanding. I too am going to therapy and seeing someone about medication too.
My close family member is a recovering alcoholic and I have taken her to many many AA meetings. Just to make sure she went and see if maybe I fit in the group too.
I could fit in the group but I don't want to make the ultimate commitment of never drinking again. If like to hope I could someday be like those people that go out for dinner dates with her friends and have a drink. Continue doing me and hubs date night of going to the local brewery and eating and drinking the locally made beer.
I can control myself but tend to get out of control every now and again.
As long as I'm on this medication though, I am scared to drink.
I thought this place was a support group, not a Q & A group. Most of you are being very helpful in sharing your stories. Others...just seem angry for no reason. Haha.

I don't see any angry people here. Just people who are well aware of the folly of certain thinking....

alcohol is a drug. I was hooked. The progression went all downhill until my liver was basically being digested by the enzymes by body was producing. I sure didn't want to quit but I was dying. AA saved my life and gave me the tools to deal with the reasons why I needed to drink.
Life is better without having a chain to the bottle
1is2many

The only people you will find on this forum are members who want to help those that are wanting to work toward a better life. Members who have first hand knowledge and experience of being an alcoholic themselves or living with someone who is fighting this addiction. Sobriety is hard work, scary and for some it is life saving. The personal stories shared are a true testament to the strength and commitment to a life without drink. If you are scared of never drinking again, that's natural but its also classic booze brain controlling your emotions. Its your body's way of clinging to the next drink to feed its addiction. An alcoholic is an alcoholic, the addiction doesn't come and go - its there lurking for its next fix - the question is whether you feed it or not.

Alcohol is a drug, three times more harmful then cocaine, heroin or crack...... and more people enter treatment facilities for alcohol abuse than other drugs. The availability of alcohol is so commonplace that most people don't even realise its a drug. Its everywhere in bars, restaurants, petrol stations, corner shops etc etc etc................... Here in the UK even our best and most popular soaps are centred around a pub!! So the statistics are hardly surprising.

If you don't want to give up drinking then that's your choice and its your freedom to carry on just the way you are. However, if its fear that is holding you back then reach out for help and look to attending a support group.

Good morning Renee. I need to apologize. Sometimes I forget that DS is not AA and perhaps everyone on DS do not want to quit drinking entirely. Sorry for my original post if it seemed harsh. Me, I cannot tell you how to drink moderately b/c I am incapable of doing so myself. The idea that I'll ever be able to drink like normies has been smashed. It's not an option for me and as soon as I accepted that my life started to change and many more/better options began to appear. If you ever feel like quitting perhaps those of us in recovery can make some suggestions. Good luck in whatever you choose.

freedom27 - when i first joined DS I too felt as though I needed to explain my replies to posts especially if they appeared to be near the bone but I learned from my own experience that sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind and some people need and want help and then there are those that want and need help - same words but a totally different meaning......... xx

I was terrified to go to AA. I even called approximately a month before my sober date and got the info then said that I could do it on my own. I never got into any trouble, or lost a job, I was always up taking care of my kids and hubby, but I was lying all the time about how much or when I was drinking. I started to not remember thing I had said or what my kids had told me. I quickly found out that I couldn't control my obsession with alcohol and relapsed twice in that one month I tried to do it on my own. I needed help. I stepped into AA defeated and ashamed that this thing was controlling me. In the back of my mind though I had this feeling I could get it all back in control and start drinking occasionally again. It wasn't until reading the big book and finally knowing that it all starts again with that first drink that I started on the right path. You have to have the desire to stop drinking for AA to really work. It says that is the only requirement to join AA. There are other ways too that work for some I am just telling you how I have done it. I am now 20 months sober and what AA promises are happening in my life. I can honestly say I never want to go back.

Amazing. All your replies were extremely helpful.
I'm scared...I have been lying about how much and when i drink. So to just up and go to AA meetings...its gonna cause quite a stir in my family. And not like the "oh are you ok? Can we watch your kids while you go to a meeting?" its gonna be the old, "told you, you have a problem. I knew it! Oh my god....so you haven't been taking care of the kids...?"
I cannot wait to get those reactions. Ugh.

Hello Renee,

You are dealing with an extremely serious condition, one that is progressive in nature and often kills people at a young age. Therefore, it would be wise to put recovery above all else, including the reaction of your family and friends.

You will find that once people get over the initial shock, most will admire you for what you are doing and will want to support you. Remember though that many people who do not have a problem with alcohol do not understand alcoholism and they often react in a predictable but unhelpful manner.

Recovery from alcoholism often requires a change in attitudes, opinions, and outlook. One of the most difficult but liberating changes of attitude that you can make is to accept that what other people think about you is their business, not yours.

Remember too that alcoholics tend to want to postpone difficult decisions until tomorrow, next week etc. The time for action is TODAY.

Renee, don't worry about what the family thinks. In the end, they want a happier, healthier you.

The reactions to AA from family, friends, co-workers scared me. But I went about my business and got good again. Now they are happy who I am.

Don't take this gift for granted. Many alcoholics never get that moment of clarity which initiates the first step towards a real life. If you're like me, you have an ego and low self-esteem problem. Truth is the people in our lives have their own lives to live. They are not waiting around for that moment to judge us or even care too much. If they are, perhaps they are using your alcoholism to avoid their own sh&t. Capitalize on this opportunity and you will be amazed before you are half way through......