Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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A solution

FredrickShurmers
FredrickShurmers

"our very lives as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs."  


This is a very important point to remember for me.  I had been resenting people so much lately I forgot this is a must if I am to move forward with healthy spiritual progress staying recovered.  


First off I noticed my memory in regards to knowing I am an alcoholic through my actions had forgotten the real story.  The real story is I am fortunate to be alive, and through God's grace I am sober and recovered from an illness that ruined my life, challenged my family's character and integrity, and continues to need treatment. 


The story my ego was creating was, I did it on my own, I am th shit, and you all need to get with the program.  LOL.  Oh that silly ego again! 


I am an alcoholic, obviously, and my life was never one in where I could drink alcohol safely.  Constantly thinking about what others thought of me was the norm instead of constantly thinking about others.  The most important portion of the statement in quotes above is "how can I help them meet their needs." 


I've found out lately it takes an honest character to allow others to witness what needs truly can be considered and helped to meet.  If I am lying, which I do wonderfully when not remembering I am an alcoholic and need God's grace to become whole in thought again, I disallow drinkers to help, and therefore can endager their lives, if they have a dependence to help me meet my own needs. 


For instance if I am talking to another who is certain drinking is a problem in their life and have committed to a solution or is wanting to no longer drink, me telling them "I am alright" when I am not is wrong.  For instance if they ask me how work is going and I respond "it is alright" just to avoid my ego saying I will be seen as an ungrateful complaining loser, if I am honest by saying I am not alright, I am not thinking of their need to help others meet their needs. 


If I respond, "work is terrible, and it is terrible because I am working with lazy and ignorant people ALL THE TIME, I am being honest, and that will open the door to them either helping me see I have a need to be compassionate towards the why they might be lazy and ignorant, or the reasoning behind a need to move on to find others to work with who aren't lazy or ignorant. 


If I am leading off with a denial or delusion that disallows me to provide opportunity for others to help, my own life is not too concerned with letting others enhance their own by helping.  This is one of those little big deals that I see many men stagnate from.  Thoughts? 

billwfriend
billwfriend
we (my sponsor and I) do an nightly inventory by text that has a question of were we thinking of ourselves more than others and the answer requested is a percentage of self and others....

he called me on carpet one day about it....so now I am always torn at a 60/40 split....more me of course than others unless for some reason I have made efforts to help others....which can mean a 50/50 or 40/60....if I am in normal mode it is usually 60 me and 40 others....just because I aint much but I am almost all I think about....
stevejlee
stevejlee
part of our culture is competitive, whether in business or other, so if you find yourself resenting others you can just drop it realizing part of it is just our drive to be competitive overflowing its boundaries. I find myself even driving competitively at times, like wow craziness, or horsefeathers
FredrickShurmers
FredrickShurmers
Great point about the competition of life Steve. Setting up a boundary in regards to how I compete, and who I compete with, is a great solution. I don't like it when I find myself competing with others who might not have had as much practice as I have in certain areas. I find myself competing with others who have drinking problems often. When I do "drop it", I usually shift focus to newer ideas and solutions, if I refuse to drop it, somebody is going to get hurt, and I put all my energies wrongly into it not being me. The idea that my reactions inside competition with others who I shouldn't be competing with are defective because they harm, motivates me to look at setting up boundaries that include all competition going forward needs to include those who have similar views of competition as myself, and who's principled ambition inside those competitions is to make sure nobody gets hurt unnecessarily. Thank You.
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