Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I believe in God. My faith has never faltered through all of the messiness my life has seemed. At the worst points in my life, I could not pray because I didn't feel worthy. I could only "look" at God and rock myself to sleep. During better periods of my life, I have gone to church every Sunday. My prayer is always something along the lines of "Give me the strength to withstand and the wisdom to see beyond." I pray for inspiration, hope, and clarity. As a child, all I prayed for was that my parents died happy. My dad died a miserable death and was depressed and withdrawn to the end. He never stopped drinking. He was Franciscan monk prior to leaving the vocation to have a family and he never gave up his vows of poverty and never turned his back on God.
I have spent my life tempting fate. My subconscious aim is self destruction. I can't forgive myself for the life I have led and, therefore, cannot sincerely ask God for forgiveness. There have been moments where I was blessed with Grace, fleeting glimpses of surrender. During these times, I asked God for mercy. I asked God for help that he would release me from my addiction for a moment so that I could gather my strength and senses. I made promises. It was beautiful, a miracle! God took my cravings away for a day. Do you know what I did without the craving, without the urge? I deliberately forgot my plea and willfully chose to drink or get high anyway. Then I skipped mass that very Sunday. ...This miracle has been given to me on several occasions after which I never failed to deny it.
I am in a place now, I cannot ask forgiveness until I forgive myself. I cannot ask for miracles if I am going to subsequently ignore them. I have flipped God the bird so many times, how in hell can I continue to ask for His grace? Tell me this. I can't ask for help anymore. I used up those tokens a long time ago. Now it is up to me to do some work for myself, and in time, a long time, maybe I will feel worthy again.
I cannot pray for myself now. Even praying for those I love is difficult. I can only look at God and hope for undeserved mercy.
That was for you, ABeliever. What say you?
I have spent my life tempting fate. My subconscious aim is self destruction. I can't forgive myself for the life I have led and, therefore, cannot sincerely ask God for forgiveness. There have been moments where I was blessed with Grace, fleeting glimpses of surrender. During these times, I asked God for mercy. I asked God for help that he would release me from my addiction for a moment so that I could gather my strength and senses. I made promises. It was beautiful, a miracle! God took my cravings away for a day. Do you know what I did without the craving, without the urge? I deliberately forgot my plea and willfully chose to drink or get high anyway. Then I skipped mass that very Sunday. ...This miracle has been given to me on several occasions after which I never failed to deny it.
I am in a place now, I cannot ask forgiveness until I forgive myself. I cannot ask for miracles if I am going to subsequently ignore them. I have flipped God the bird so many times, how in hell can I continue to ask for His grace? Tell me this. I can't ask for help anymore. I used up those tokens a long time ago. Now it is up to me to do some work for myself, and in time, a long time, maybe I will feel worthy again.
I cannot pray for myself now. Even praying for those I love is difficult. I can only look at God and hope for undeserved mercy.
That was for you, ABeliever. What say you?
God loves a drunk, although he's a fool......
Carry on with this grand discussion fellow drunks, sober and otherwise.....
I have done the steps, I feel the answer is found in that practice.
Go Pray
You told me to F-off? I bothered you that much? You think I matter? wow
I often connect the dots....yours are getting easier.But no no I won't insult you.... it would feel sooo good though....nope
your too hot for me
Mindlight needs to go and relax.......leave it be. sheeesh
Yes....I do agree...I will take a break
Peace and quality sobriety to all
So far as this "God stuff is very personal" routine BBH, I could point out that you capitalized the word, which shows me your intentions. Maybe I don't want to even see the generic word "god" here or more specifically that word with a capital G.
Or, BBH and mindlight, can the subject of spiritual methods for recovery even be broached on this forum?
You two are calling the shots here I see. Set the rules about it so we all can follow...........
Great thread Howtolive, I appreciate what you're saying because I too have had so many chances to take my god's hand and let her lead me but didn't. Grace is great.....
Oh dang, I must be touting a specific religion here, I used the word "her"..... get off it you two!
Typing doesn't come across right...I was trying to control....bad...I was trying to say If anyone was going to tout one beleif system that should be taked to PMs.
She really didn't...but I guess with a God post as opposed to a HP just seems to open up for all religions to say there part. Thats ok too
I AM trying to go away...lol gotta drag myself away :)
Love ya all....really do
I too have flipped my God the bird on more occasions than I care to remember, but I believe this of my higher power, we are eternally forgiven. Does that mean that we are to knowingly go out and do wrong because we'll be forgiven? No. It means that today is a new day. We ARE forgiven for yesterday and we are to forgive ourselves, something I really struggle with, but believe.
Today my goal is to do as my God would have me. To surrender my will, my resentments, my guilt, and my worries to Him.
Whether you call it Him, Her, It, god, God, GOD, Jesus, Budda, Allah, Santa, or NASCAR is not the point. The point is it is not Bud, Miller, Jack, Absolute, or Boones Farm.
Lift each other up, dont knock each other down.
Arrogance is in your DNA Mark, how did you ever achieve the years of sobriety you say you have?
Now, go ahead and take me off your friends list as you always do when we butt heads Mark.
Uh........... can we now take this thread back where Howtolive was heading?