Welcome!

So the way the group works is you post discussions and you'll get lots of advice and support. This is a good place to ask questions, share successes and failures, and vent when you need to. Lots of good people here ready to listen.

How does quitting work? That's different for everyone. Deciding to quit was a big deal for me and the process of quitting was not easy. When I was first drinking, I never thought I was all that bad -- so I kept drinking. And sure enough it got a whole lot worse. By the time I quit I was drinking 10 -- 14 shots of vodka every day. I was a blackout, pass-out drunk.

If you need to stop drinking do it now -- don't wait. I promise you that it is worth it and you will not regret it.

I've been sober for 5 days now. But I don't drink every day. So, that doesn't feel like a huge accomplishment. Still, I don't want to drink. I got some bad news yesterday and I went to the store to get cigarettes. I looked at the bottle, but in my mind, I saw my girls. And I paid for the smokes and left.

You made a conscious choice to not drink when you got bad news -- that is an accomplishment!

There might be times down the road when you think you need a drink, or deserve one, or feel like you are depriving yourself because you can't have one. Hopefully you will come to realize that it's when you drink that you miss out on life.

just keep taking it one step at a time.

I honestly didn't see my drinking as a problem until the other day. I did something terrible and I don't think I can ever forgive myself for it. I was drunk and I put my baby in the car and drove to pick my girlfriend up from work. I don't even remember doing it. But if that's something that I could do, I never want to touch a drink again. I could have killed my daughter. The fact that nothing happened doesn't make what I did any less horrible. And the look in my girlfriend's eyes the next morning when she was telling me what I did - I never want to see that look again. Angry, disappointed, and disgusted. I don't know why she's giving me another chance, but I can't screw that up. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. And now, she doesn't trust me. At all. And its my fault.
I have to fix this. Which means I have to fix myself. If I don't, I don't deserve either of them.
And, I lost my job yesterday. She's more angry about it than I am, but she believes me. I was never drunk at work. I just can't be that mad because I screwed up unimaginably and somehow, I still have my precious little girl and my gorgeous girlfriend.
I do want some advice, though. If I do get tempted to take a drink, what should I do? What's the best way of getting rid of temptation? I've never tried resisting before because I thought everything was fine.

I recommend finding some sort of program or support system. I personally go to AA. I have a sponsor that i can call if that situation ever comes up. I also have some drinks that feel special that i turn to rather than alcohol. Gradually things i used to do to relax are helping too. For me that is taking a walk or a bath. Obviously things might be different for you. My final straw before my first meeting involved my daughter too. I was extremely dissapointed in myself. We all know what you are going through. Glad you admitted there was a problem. That is the first step.

I remember about a month before I quit in June 12. I drove with my two kids and had them both in car seats and was about to duck down behind the bumper and slam another beer. I thought I wanted it but I decided to go home. I was sick. I found that I couldn't quit on my own. I tried many times. I just needed the escape that booze offered. Until the booze was running my life. See I had NO coping skills. I just used booze to deal with life, but when I woke up the next am I was dealt with both life and what I had done. I finally went and asked for help in a room of alcoholics.

I have not drank in awhile. Just quitting drinking was not enuf. I needed to work out some things in my head. See I'm an alcoholic. When I drink one I want more and more. By not cracking open the first I stop the horror.

I appreciate you and want you to know you have helped me today. I never want to forget how crappy it really was. Now go GET some good sober. You deserve it!

1is2many

Ps. I found that no alcoholic will be able to get and stay sober on account of others. ( your kids, gf, etc) you gotta do it for YOU

Cmon imagine a life free from the chain of the bottle. It's awesome

1-2

JW,

For most of us, alcohol isn't the problem, it's the solution. It's a bad solution at that. Many of us deal with resentment, anger, hurt, jealousy, and negative feelings that plague us. We drink to numb it.

AA is a solution many discover that helps with those problems. I could not drink for months. I could drink normally 19 times in a row, have a couple beers or glasses of wine and be fine. But that 20th time I'd go off the rails.

If you are interested in AA as a solution, and there are others Smart recovery, Allen Carr's method, message me.

Quitting drinking with the help of AA is the best thing that ever happened to me.

I've only been here a week or so, not even that, but I'm pretty much blown away by how kind and supportive people are here.

The thing to do if you ever want a drink is to turn the other way. Maybe you have to gut it out while you're figuring out how you're going to handle this, but make that your #1 goal. Try aa, get a therapist, whatever works. Do lots of things, but keep working hard. You're important and you matter. Think of that baby.

Good luck and we'll see you back. Right?

I'll keep coming back. Losing my job complicates things, but on the bright side, I have more time with my daughter. I share custody with her mother and each of us has her half the time. She's only 3 and not going to school yet, so for now this is working well. I'm not sure how we'll handle it when she reaches school age, but one thing at a time.
I still haven't had a drink. I can't afford a car right now and I don't trust myself with one, so I bought a scooter. My girlfriend has a car and was more than happy to take me back and forth to work every day, but I want to my own transportation. Now that I need another job, the scooter will help me get to job interviews. I can deal with this.
I'm amazed at my girlfriend. She's taking everything in stride. I came close to ruining our relationship, but she still loves me. I know it will take a while for things to get back to normal with us, but that's ok. I lost her trust. She's a strong woman - she's been through more than anyone I've ever known and she survived it. That's one of the things I love about her. I have no idea what she's doing with a screw-up like me. She's really sweet and loving, but when she's angry, her fiery side comes out. She lost that for a while, but she got it back. I'm glad she was angry with me. It means that she is definitely back to being the girl I used to know, before life knocked her around. I'm glad she's making me work to earn back her trust. I won't mess up again.
I'm going to an AA meeting Wednesday evening if I can find someone to babysit. We only have one a week here. My girlfriend would gladly do it, but she works. My mother has a dinner for work and the rest of my family is medically fragile at the moment. So, we'll see what happens.

I was told this by my counselor when I was in an outpatient treatment program.

When you feel like taking a drink, "think" about the consequences of your actions before you do so. When you do that, you are switching to a different part of your mind. The right mind. It works for me, every time!

In your case, think what would happen to your daughter if you were in a car accident. It doesn't even matter if it's not your fault. The judge will throw the book at you if you have been drinking!

I was at an AA meeting and listened to a young woman describe her story with horror in her eyes at how her drunk driving resulted in an accident that killed another person for which she spent 5 years in jail for manslaughter. Think about that when you want to get behind the wheel after drinking. You think it can't happen to you just like she did.

The important thing is to forgive yourself and don't do it again. Don't hold on to guilt and shame. That's the worse thing you can do!

God Bless

I have been tempted a few times and i have thought of how far i have come and do i really want to start all over again? Not to mention how dissapointed i would be in myself and how dissapointed others in my life would be. When i sat down and thought that all through i realized it isn't worth it

The real solution is to find a way of living that trumps drinking. I would quit many, many times but would be worried I was missing something that everyone else was enjoying. I especially felt different around other ppl drinking. It was torture.

This time I work hard to be greatful for each and every thing that is positive in my life.

A greatful alcoholic doesn't need to drink.

1-2

For me, I like this sight. Gives lots of support and I meat great people. I also am a member of A.A. That also teaches and gives me support, and a program, among other things.
When I drank I found I isolated from people a lot, so I find I need to be involved with people. I need to get out and be with others because (even then) I feel lonely a lot. I find that's a dangerous spot for me, because then I'm stuck with my own thinking. Which left to long, will get me into trouble. It was always my own great thinking that caused me to drink, and it made perfect sense to me.That obsession to drink normally, somehow, will again come back. I need to work the steps because I became a pretty bad person because of my drinking for many years. I couldn't even stand myself. I want to be a good person. I can't do that on my own, and I need help. I need people that I can talk to, and be honest with, or learn to be anyway. I need recovery, and people.
There's lots of ways you can get sober, but I think spending a good half hour or more on this sight each day, answering post, making friends, writing a journal, is a good start. Most of all you need to be open minded. Recovery won't always make sense to you, because it's often opposite to what we want to do. You need to be open to different ways. Try different things. Look on the net about recovery, and support groups to help you. Try going to meetings. Find out what might work for you. Most of all, never give up hope. People do recover, and you can too. All the best. James

Thanks for all the tips and support. I'm feeling pretty strong right now.