I think your explanation of "not feeling like it" should work fine. At this stage, you don't owe anyone a detailed explanation.

I'll tell you something else that helps in group situations: Have a soft drink in your hand as soon as you arrive. Then, no one will feel the need to offer you anything.

I just don't drink normally

I'm driving

All that matters is your health. There is a practice that I used to do all the time called projecting.. it is an unhealthy behavior. Don't obsess about what may or may not happen. Because most of the crap I'd worry about never was a reality , just in my mind.

Additionally, I would suggest telling the bartender, a double club in a tall glass with extra lime. Lean over and tell them, that is code for I'm in recovery. They will get it.. then carry on and don't cow tow to your issue, have a fun time, be rodwdy. I even will act a bit sauced and my friends don't give a sh about what I am or am not drinking .

Enjoy your decision, I sure do and I can even smile when I see myself in the drunken guy at the bar. Don't back down , step up. Live rocks sober

1is2

I totally get the fear of what others will think /say. who gives a sh1+ because at the end of the day its what you want. I am just geniticlly different and when I drink I break out in handcuffs.

"No thank you."

"I'll pass."

"Feeling a bit under the weather so I am sticking with soda."

"I quit drinking for medical reasons." (If anyone asks say, "nothing major, don't want to discuss.")

1is2 -- I would never pretend to drink or be a bit sauced. I just don't get that. There is nothing wrong with being sober!

1is2
Lol I love the last line in ur response..I may have to borrow that
.

1is... Breaking out in handcuffs isn't too far from the truth for me. I love the club with lime suggestion. Vodka on the rocks is my drink of choice so at least it will look like the norm for me. Thanks for the advice everyone!

I will never forget going out after a high school teachers funeral with the old crew. I drank about three clubs and my buddies were drinking lots and finally I was like I gotta go and the guy actually said that he felt used... he paid for the tab and I put up a 10 on tip and he felt used. so funny. I don't miss the bar one bit and in all honesty I as a recovered needed to change play places and , unfortunatlly playmates...

The other thing I've done is to actually throw a shot over my shoulder. Hey when in the devils den anything goes. I don't tempt fate as much now, but at early stage I felt like I needed to play with the fire. I don't now and highly recommend calling somebody before you go in and again after leaving.

1is

And I don't act drunk I just get loud and tell jokes and engage when I am in a crowd. There is some stigma that follows an alcoholic that is in a party and I just don't like to put a crimp on regular ppls party. Now when they are knee dragging Im out a there.

training for a marathon?

A message from God?

Have fun with it - and there must be something you'd like to watch on TV that will mean you'll have to be home by 10.

Justbeth- in the begining I just said'"no matter what I drink, or how much it seems to bother my stomach' so I decided to give it up" not really a lie cause I was usually did not feel to well after drinking... another thing I said when ask, is it just isn't fun any more.. not a lie either..or be honest and say you felt you were drinking to much and decided to give it a break. Chances are they already knew that.Regardless, they are not the important ones, its all about you, and when you get past those FEW hours drink time and you do not drink, you will be so proud of yourself. Its a great feeling...

I struggled with this as well and the first time I went out with others I did cave and have two glasses of wine. I felt so awful! Pissed at myself for "going along with the crowd". I have had two more opportunities since then. First time I just said "No thanks, I have too much to do tomorrow'. Second time i said "No thanks, I'm good". The most shocking thing to me was that no one actually cared at all!!! :-)!!

JustBeth, I used to think I was the life of the party but in hindsight I was probably the embarrassment of the party. I learned not to trust everything my alcoholic mind was telling me when it came to what drink did for me!

In the early days of sobriety I stayed away from drinking situations until the obsession to drink had gone. It was difficult enough without wandering into the lion's den, so to speak!

People rarely care what you are drinking unless those people have a problem themselves.

If a drunk really pushes me on the subject I start to tell them I'm a recovered alcoholic and they either abruptly leave me alone or start talking about their own drinking and ask questions. Yeah, I'm probably talking to the bottle but it does me some good and those who aren't too drunk have something to ponder.

I avoided my friends and eventually found out they were drinking buddies, not friends. The friends that did really care about me supported me and would never drink around me while i was in early r recovery.

There is nothing wrong with avoiding your friends you drank with. I've made amazing friends in AA and in the beginning, I almost solely hung out with them until i could handle normal people. I'm grateful for this.

No need to test ourselves to see how strong we are or prove that we can be around drinking.

Take care of yourself first.

I feel ya! I'm on my sixth day and I'm avoiding certain situations. We went out to eat last night and I actually sat where my back was turned away from the bar area, lol. I know it sounds silly but I'm usually always down for a party or get together and I haven't come out and told my friends or family besides my husband that I'm an alcoholic so I've been just avoiding them all together except for the occasional text or email.

The doctor told me no alcohol for my high blood pressure. Sometimes I just say "doctor's orders" Both are true, but I neglect to say in addition doc said no alcohol because I am addicted.

Glad you are here and not drinking.
I know I struggled early on with what to say. My husband said "get over yourself, no one really cares if you are drinking or not. Only you care." and he was right. I too was very outgoing when I drank. I see clearly now that wasnt being the "life" of any party that was alcoholism disguised as socializing.
So just say you arent drinking. I started with that. Now at almost 3 years sober I just say I don't drink. I am comfortable with that.
I've only had two people really question why I'm not drinking. And that's across dozens of parties, live music events with open bars, weddings, new years parties, etc. etc. etc.