My divorce came after I was 6 months sober.Then came a failed reconciliation,and a lot of pain and heartache.My ex was bitter and angry because I wouldn't get sober because she wanted me to.After a little while,I began to realize that to be with her wasn't healthy for me anyway.Our outlooks and attitudes will make big changes after we sober up.What once looked very desireable to us when we were drinking may not be so appealing after we sober up.All the bad things that go along with life in the real world are still going to happen,whether or not we're sober.People are going to die,relationships are going to fail,financial woes are going to happen,and on and on.It's how we react to those things that counts.We can let them take us back to the bottle or we can do what it takes to get us through them sober.We don't have to drink just because something terrible happens.

Yup, with him for 25, married for 20.
I left him and his drinking in my 12th year.
One drinking everyday and one not ever again did not make a marriage.
I changed and he didn't so no one understands why I had to leave. (?)
Then again, everyone I know are alcoholics so I didn't expect understanding.

Not married but a long term relationship; he was drunk and told me to get out. He didn't like me being sober when he couldn't do it himself. I told him I would go to meetings with him and do whatever I could but the booze won. He drinks a 1.75 of vodka a day. He is never sober nor wants to be. So, I moved in with my parents, and I'm still sober and happy with myself. He on the other hand, well, who cares!!

YES...........

I would not be surprised if statistics show recovered alcoholics follow the normal divorce rate.

This may not be the answer you are looking for but it's a good chance to talk about my relationship with my wife and children.
Thanks.


I met my wife to be when she was 14 I was 18 I was drunk at a friends party. We married when she was 19 I was 23 she was very pregnant I was very drunk. 4 children came along over the next 17 years I was still drunk.

The life I gave my wife and children no one deserved . I was in and out of jail I was doing a life sentence a weekend at a time. I was in an out of court houses because of my drinking everything drink related. 7 DUI's.

And for some unknown reason to me my wife stayed with me. I went into rehab in August 1991 for 4 weeks only to try and stay out of jail facing my seventh DUI. And it was in there that my life was was about to change. It was the first time in a lot of years I had been sober for more than a week.

My wife picked me up from the rehab on a Wednesday and drove me straight to the court house. A miracle happened the judge I had been before 4 times put me on another 5 year good behavior bond find me $1000 driven while disqualified and suspended me from obtaining another license for a further 5 years. I was also ordered to attend AA.I was 40 at the time.

I went home to a wife I had been married to for 17 years at that time and 4 children and I had sobered up long enough to realize I didn't know any of them my whole life was a blur. I had made many ,many promises over the years none I ever kept.

For the next few months there were lots of arguments lots of childish tantrums on my behalf because I had never grown mentally or emotionally since I started drinking but in time and from what I had learned from AA things started to change.

I knew there were big changes when my daughter came home from school on day and told her mother the boy down the road ask her what's happened at her home it was so quite these days.

I stopped making promises and started making commitments My wife started to see the changes my children seen the changes. My home life was working like AA was working for me on attraction rather than promotion. They were seeing the changes rather than hearing about them.

There are so many things that my wife and children will probably never forget about my drinking but I know they have forgiven me as God has.

I am coming up to 17 years of unbroken sobriety on August 27 my wife children and grand children love me as I love them and life couldn't be better. (Well I am alcoholic maybe a little better.) a couple of things I learned in AA were . 'If nothing changes nothing changes and that .The person I was drank and the person I was will drink again.' so I have had to make many changes in my life.

I was told early in recovery by my sponsor either you and your wife grow together or you will grow apart.
Thankfully we have grown together. But like all couples we have our days. The difference I have the tools to handle them these days.
If you have read this far don't you have better things to do. Only joking.

God Bless...

Lionel