Not me personally, but my parents mariage ended because of his drinking. At lest that's what I think.

I know dozens of recovered alcoholics who ended up loosing their spouse, job or home 5 - 20 years after stopping drinking.

Those who say "just don't drink, life will get better" are just plain liars.
Life's challenges go on.

Those who fail to treat their root causes are living life in a house made of straw (like the first little pig).

Hey krm, Yes it does happen. Not to myself but from being in recovery for awhile and going to a lot of meetings you hear people share about it. The one reason I hear the most is when you sober up you see the other person different or the person not in recovery has a sense of losing control because they always did everything while you was out in the madness.

And to reply to #2 just amazes me when I hear that. For myself things got a hell of a lot better. I became responsible and was able to contribute to society, pay my bills, have real relationships, well you get my drift.

I know I've heard a lot about divorce when a person sobers up. The dynamics change in the relationship and the person that never drank and got used to being the boss can't get used to the new sober person that's now more responsible and more in control sometimes and the marriage doesn't survive.

gim;

I said 5 - 20 years after. You have many years and YETS ahead of you.

Boelen please don't start, I know all about the yets. Its all about how you handle them as they arise. What a concept eh?

KRM, I hope some of they replys helped my friend.

Yep, I changed and found out I wanted something different for myself.It happen's.

It always surprises me that alcoholics even manage to get married.I could never pull it off.

Yes... mine did... but it's because she decided she likes women

Sorry krm, can't help you with this one all of my exes were exes before I found recovery! But I have a loving, supportive husband and I hope that I am a loving, supportive wife now!

Tip: never go to the denist to have your blood sugar checked. Marriage Counselor?

ABSOLUTELY. I GOT BETTER AND MY WIFE DECIDED THAT , WELL, YOU ALL KNOW. I DIVORCED HER 1 YR LATER.
THE FACT IS, I HAD NO BUSINESS GETTING MARRIED ANYWAY. I LIVED IN A FANTASY WORLD!
IF YOU STOP DRINKING I PERSONALLY PROMISE THAT YOUR LIFE WILL ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY, NO IFS AND BUTS ABOUT IT, G E T B E T T E R ! IT ONLY TAKES COMMON SENSE TO FIGURE THAT ONE OUT.

Goodmorning KRM! Ahhhh, I know that since I'm cleaning up I will not tolerate somethings I use to. I also know that since I'm not using the "bottle" as my main route of escape I'm having to face some "realities" that are requiring that I make some serious changes to stay healthy. From what I've heard a lot of relationships end when one "cleans up," the dynamics in ther relationship change, and sometimes the relationship can not withstand those changes. Good luck friend!

i'm with stephenlee8. never married. hell, i was already married. addiction is a full time partnership. no time for a marriage of the conventional kind. but many folks get divorced while in sobriety. just because we get sober does not mean guarantee from bad choices or the abilty to rectivy a marriage that is not working. it might mean we finally have the courage to live the best life possible for ourselves.

My 26 yr marriage ended in divorce after I got sober. Both of us were alcoholics, but I was the only one that got sober. That really wasn't the main reason I divorced him ~ he'd been so emotionally, verbally and psychologically abusive thru the years and I wasn't strong enough to leave him while I was drinking as he'd threaten me, etc. Once I got sober, I all of a sudden had all kinds of inner strength and figured if he threatened me, so what? So I divorced him. He harassed me for awhile, but eventually gave up. I never felt so free in my life!!! He'd controlled me for so long, that I didn't realize what real freedom was! Hugs, Lee

wow. good post for me today.. wondering how my marriage can survive my sobriety.. Personnaly, I cannot stand being around him. He is an alcoholic who "doesn't have a problem". ha ha. If I stay sober (god please!!!!) I see us ending our marriage..