yeah-tell him the truth.

Always comes out in the end anyways.

Your secrets are like \'dirty little secrets\' when it comes to our drinking. Not trying to be preachy here, but you know what I mean?

I know, it just SUCKS...I do not want him to think I would ever drink around his son, I would never!!!!

If your brother finds out somehow and chances are at some point he will, you will have lost his trust for a very long time if not forever. You are talking about his child the most important thing in the world to him. Unless you have children you can not put yourself in his shoes and have no comprehension of what this will do to him and his feelings for you. He has a right to know what is going on with you in this circumstance. If you were not caring for his child it wouldn\'t be any of his business. How about his spouse or ex spouse or girlfriend if she finds out it will cause problems between them.
Lying by omission is still lying.
Sorry but this is just my opinion

It really does SUCK, but so does not letting someone know, and you feeling the way you are right now. Something must be telling you to talk to him?

I have a grandbaby girl, and I didn\'t blame my son for not wanting me to be around her when I was still drinking. I didn\'t think I would ever drink while I had her, but I knew he had the right to know if I were still actively drinking, so I did let him know. It hurt, but I know he would want to know, and if not, I would be in a heap of shit if he found out the truth, and it wasn\'t from me! lol

It really does SUCK, but so does not letting someone know, and you feeling the way you are right now. Something must be telling you to talk to him?

I have a grandbaby girl, and I didn\'t blame my son for not wanting me to be around her when I was still drinking. I didn\'t think I would ever drink while I had her, but I knew he had the right to know if I were still actively drinking, so I did let him know. It hurt, but I know he would want to know, and if not, I would be in a heap of shit if he found out the truth, and it wasn\'t from me! lol "

wth? I posted my comment, then didn\'t see it, so back spaced and found it, copied and reposted, now there are two with 2 different times. I\'ve really been having some strange things happen around here lately!

Hi Ash, if you can\'t be truthful with your Brother, your just going to be pushing him away. It will destroy communication between you both. It\'s pretty selfish huh. Protecting yourself, not wanting to feel embarrassed, less loved. Hiding those secrets. It\'s all about protecting \'me\'.

Well it\'s going to just build and build until all trust between you and your brother breaks down because reality will win out in the end. I agree with Reed, don\'t you think he should have the right to make an informed decision on the protection of his child? Isn\'t it his choice to make that decision not yours?

Ash, I don\'t know how your brother would react to you telling him, but how can you continue to grow in sobriety if your not honest with yourself and others.

When I got sober, it was time for me to face reality, not what I wanted to present to the world, but the actual fact of what was going on in my life. Honesty within myself. The Serenity prayer helps me daily here... "the courage to change the things I can". The results are surprising and amazing. God bless. CM xxx

The truth definitely, it will always be in your head, tell him as soon as you can.

Okay, I cant sleep...and we reading everything....it actually made me kind of defensive. Maybe it was how I wrote it out. I mean for one thing, my drinking really has little to do with my nephew...I have never even been drunk around my brother in my entire LIFE...yes we had a few beers together but ONLY a few....we are not that close, but I still not like lieing to him...and what I ment was that if I did want to be honest with my brother and tell him I had messed up, it just makes me feel weak, and yes I worry about him judging me and worring, although there would be absolutely NO reason to worry....like I said my drink would never be around HIM or his baby....I guess it came out wrong earlier...and I do not think he has any right to judge me for my drinking when it is not around him or his family....but I worry that he might, and that is what scares me....I have not drank since memorial day and plan to stay this way, and if I do mess up I know for sure it would never impact HIm or HIs family....

I would ALWAYS protect HIS child, I would never touch alcohol around him!!!!!!!! That was my whole point of the question and I guess you ansawered it for me......I am NOT THAT type of person even when I am drinking....I am a binge drinker not a everyday drinker...I can go without....shesh, if he reacts ANYTHING the way you all just did I know I should NOT tell him...you all went WAY over bored...

I know with all of my defensiveness I might sound a little guilty but I can promise you that is NOT the case!!!

Honestly I ment I wanted to tell him to help us become closer but would never want him to worry when there is no reason at all to ever think I would drink around his son!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry Reed but you have it all wrong and backwards....

Hey Ashley-I have always maintained that I drank alone in the end of my drinking and it didn't impact anyone except me. I genuinely believed that. Wasn't till I started my 4th step that I realized that that simply was not true. Many were impacted without me even knowing it. It's so true that "more will be revealed".

I'd tell him the truth, as much as it will suck...do it. I'm going to have to tell the truth about something I've lied to a friend about for over a year and it sickens me to think of it, but I said I was willing to go to any lengths necessary. Are you?

Proud of you Ashley-very cool since Memorial day huh? Woohoo! :)

Well excuse the hell out of us! Guess you're a better drunk then we ever were then! You asked, we shared...we shared our truths!

I never 'thought' I would drink around my granddaughter either, but the day came when I absolutaly did! They were here, and I was sneaking drinks in the bathroom, so no one knew, and putting candy in my mouth all the while. Shame on me, but being the drunk I am, I didn't know when I was going to drink, and when I wasn't! Guess you know better! hmmm?

Aren't you the one who jumped parents asses around here for drinking and having children? Saying that we were pathetic for doing that, and must not love our kids as much as alcohol? Well, you had that all wrong, and you have this condesending lecture all wrong too.

Ashley, I came on strong for a reason which I will explain. I'm sorry if it upset you but you asked and the fact that you asked suggests that deep down inside you know what the right thing is to do.
I have a former in-law who has spent 25 years in and out of the rooms of AA although she has maintained periods of sobriety she has been unable to do it on a long term basis. This person puts on all the right actions and words in meetings but I know who they really are and what they are really like . They can't stay sober because they just can't bring themselves to be honest. Sure they admit there problem etc. but they will not admit how selfish and self centered they are and the things that they have done in the past. I watched this person come home to their family an pretend like they never lost custody of their child due to drinking. If you asked any of their old friends about her life none would know what alcoholism had cost. They would rather keep up the false front than really admit defeat and surrender to what is called for.
Unfortunately I fear I will receive a call one day from my former spouse asking me to go check up on them and I will find them dead. HONESTY, OPEN MINDEDNESS, WILLINGNESS are the keys.
Most of us here are just trying to hand the key to you. I really do hope you will accept it from one of us.

Let me start by saying that alcoholism is a disease that says we do not have a disease. It never gets better, only worse. Maybe today you would never think of drinking while watching your nephew but the day will come, and it will, when you will not stop at drinking for any reason. I agree with most people here who say to tell the truth. Believe me when I say the truth will set you free. He may react in a way you may not like but that is the chances we take. Are you doing anything for your disease? Are you just not drinking on your own will power? Lots of questions to ask but will save them for later.