Maybe your making to much out of stopping drinking. Try a simpler approach. Just say so what I'm not drinking.

Are you still drinking or have you stopped?
If not, pour whatever you have out and stop here before it gets out of hand.

Look...reading your other post your at a vulnerable place. Hmmmm anything else you can do for the evening besides drink? Go to your brothers? Call a friend to come over and listen to you vent and cry your head off? I'm sorry sweetie if I was still in Ky I would drive up and listen.....

Another question...sorry... I just know my cycle (any PMS)? That always sends me for a crying, miserable, hate my life time. It seems things were a little better and now you've hit a pot hole...

Just try to stop now before it gets out of hand and you get sick....yuck...vomit with chunks of goop, throat burning, stomach aching...vomit dripping down your hair, face in the toliet...Sorry Ash...I'm just trying to create a visual for you to maybe help you stop where you are. Take care dear!

Just don't drink, have a cup of cocoa or coffee with creamer, watch a sitcom or call a friend. Relax!

I thought what I was doing when I was drinking was living and having fun,but it was nothing compared to how it is now.It was really a living death,and not a lot of fun.If it's still fun,maybe you aren't ready to stop.Sobriety isn't nearly as painful as being drunk for me.It may not seem like it at first,but it really is better.

Were you drinking martinis alone or with friends? If you were drinking them with friends, I think it was your way of trying to be social again.

I don't know you very well, and if I'm wrong on this, you tell me to take a hike, okay?

I don't think it's your sobriety that annoys you......you just don't like your current life. When you are sober, you hole up inside your apartment and although you feel good (physically), you are very lonely. You drink to escape this loneliness or you drink to connect with other people (because they also drink).

You need to get out with some people who have healthy attitudes towards life. You are single, young, and you need something to do. Go try various AA meetings until you meet the right crowd. Go to a church- a big one. Go to the gym- take a class. Do something to get out with people. You'll find that sobriety does not suck. Okay?

Man Jacker...I swear you always know just what to say, sounded like you were talkin to me. Ashley-I know exactly what you're sayin, I miss that social drinking with my girlfriends. It is so hard to NOT drink when they all seem to be having a blast. I have to remind myself that THEY can handle it, THEY can stop, THEY can have a couple of martinis and won't want to get up and start all over again in the morning. WE are different, if you're anything like me. I'm sorry you're havin a rough time. It'll get better.

I know all of this....I drank after work....whatever....now I am going in on a bag(weed) with my sister....ahhh, the comfort...not really...but I just dont feel like I know how to be ME sober, nor fun nor funny, nor anything....I hate it.....I do not hater me, I love me....I just do not know what to do with myself sober all the time...I hate that...I hate not knowing what mood will pop up....today was awful.....sorry to down load....I am okay and will be okay, just need to get it out

Thank you for sharing exactly how the alcholic mind renders us defenseless against the first drink.

One insanely trivial thought about French Martinis and you are back out. Notice how the spiritual malady was strong in you before the thought arrived.

That is how lethal this disease is - one silly thought and we are gone - all perspective lost.

In answer to your question, yes it is possible. I had a spiritual experience and continue to have spiritual experiences. I have reached a place where I don't battle against booze - it's a battle I'll never win cos I have a mind just like you.

I have reached a place where I don't even have to think of "one day at a time". I have come to know freedom and a new attitude to booze. None of this I did myself. I tried for years. All i did was give up the battle and embrace the big book.

I pray that we can all experience what it has to offer.

Have you also noticed that the ease and comfort has returned AFTER drinking and smoking weed?

Notice that the spiritual malady is gone? Notice that booze has returned you to sanity?

Do you still doubt that there is a power greater than you out there? Booze and weed are doing for you what you cannot do for yourself, right?

There is another way...

Thank you too everyone...I feel like I am greatful to have this outlet but at he same time....
I feel like I am going crazy, thinking too much...not you all just me....I hate it....

I truly believe that if you are anything like me, your EXPERIENCE and not your thoughts are the way forward into recovery.

Look carefully at what you are experiencing.

You can;t think your way free of alcoholism, at least that was how it was for me.

I hope you make it back my friend.

Is this complicategal or someone else?

Or do you think because you haven't really lost anything that you can drink occassionally? "Well, I go to work everyday and pay my bills and have food and on and on"
Alot of people term this a functional alcoholic. You really never seem to give sobriety a chance because you drink again every week or two. How can you expect things to change that fast? You don't give it enough of a chance. As soon as something doesn't feel right or go right you probably drink.

You say you know all the answers. What's the questions you know the answers to? If you knew all the answers, you'd see the truth in your drinking and drugging.