You go to AA. You keep going, and you surround yourself with solid people.

I remember well the nights of making an as out of myself, waking up and swearing off booze, then... as soon as I started feeling better ... back on the bottle.

Why? because I liked the way alcohol made me feel... or not feel really. I was lazy and didnt want to deal with the issues in life and honestly, grow up.

I quit when I was 40 that was over five years ago.

Honestly the only way that I ever could Stay Sober was to go to AA meetings regularly. I learned coping skills and found friends that had BTDT. It took time and commitment ( something I never had ) but the end result is that I dont drink beer today. My issue is that I will forget this very quickly if I dont make a decision each day not to drink beer.

Imagine the life without those embarassing times and where you can be proud of yourself for the person youve become. Cmon!

1is2many

I had an AA sponsor who was always just a phone call away if I had a problem or a craving and he would guide me through the ordeal and I always came away feeling better having someone who had been in my shoes, share their wisdom and experience with me!

I really needed to be motivated to stay sober. I knew I couldn't do it alone. AA did it for me but if you are fearful of AA then look into other ways.

The decision to drink or not to drink was all up to me in the end. Nobody could do it for me but there were many people who supported me to help me make that decision. Because they didn't want me to fail, I also didn't want me to fail so I swallowed my pride and listened to the helpful suggestions of others and many times, I took their advice.

Good luck on your road to recovery and may you find peace and happiness along the way.

God Bless

Congrats on four days, that's a real accomplishment and a great start! My friends offer you good advice, AA is a wonderful resource with local support groups and a proven program. I tried going it alone many times and eventually failed until I got involved in a program. AA is great for helping you through the rough early days and then to dig deeper in determining the root cause of your drinking. I found Refuge Recovery, a Buddhist-based alternative, to be a good resource as well with a similar program. Either way, getting in a program is the best route. Also, hook up with some folks here. The key is don't go it alone, find support, and you'll make the odds of success much higher. Wishing you the best and stay in touch!

Going to AA has proven to be the single most important thing I've done in my life. AA is custom built for people like me and you. Why don't you want to go to AA?

I tried it once about 10 years ago. I don’t know what it was that turned me off about it. It just didn’t feel right. It could be that deep down I wasn’t ready to quit. I’m sorry I don’t have a more specific reason. It just didn’t feel like me. I will give it a shot. Thanks for the support and advice. I guess aa it is.

Effing awesome! My advice....pay attention to similarities and disregard the differences at the meeting. If you don't like that meeting. Go to a different one. Get to the middle of the herd and stay there for a while. You're safe in the middle. I'm sure I speak for everyone on DS when I say that we are truly glad you are reaching out for help and we want you to get some peace in your life.

Welcome to DS and like the other responses I'd say you need a good support system around you to quit and not just to quit for a while but to quit for life. Beating an addiction is never going to be easy and you'll have really bad days, bad days, better days but hopefully all sober days that eventually turn into great days :-) I never made it to AA despite promising myself but I do see a counsellor regularly to deal with the underlying issues of my addiction and I focus my energy on family, work and keeping fit and it has been rewarding for not just me but the people around me especially my kids. So I hope you manage to stay clear of that beer and I wish you all the best :-)

Thanks everyone for the support and kind words. I will say that one thing driving me to aa is the reaction of some of my closest friends. Just today I decided to let a couple people know my intentions. I know they are supportive but their reactions said otherwise. I guess they lose a drinking buddy. But certainly aren’t going to provide support or understanding that those going through it will understand.

yes, your network of friends is likely to change over time, but that's okay. you'll make new ones, I can promise you that!

Things will change and FYI, I went to an AA meeting 8 years before I went back. I wasn’t ready either. Oh I was scared to go after screwing up. But what happened? I went back to drinking. When I went back. I was sick and tired
Of being sick and tired. AA has been my home for 4.5 years. Nobody believes it. It’s been the greatest.

There’s alternative meetings like smart recovery. I just looked it up because aa rubbed me the wrong way as well

AA was not for me. I find the meetings depressing and the dogma not in line with my personal beliefs. So I have sympathy if it isn't the path for you. SMART Recovery has some good online tools. I did not use a program -- many of us don't.

You have to break your pattern. Set a goal of 30 days. In the grand scheme of things that is not very long. If you want to reward yourself with a beer before the, forget it, you can't. Not before 30 days. On day 31 you'll have a bit of sobriety and can make a better decision about whether drinking is worth it. If you can't make it 30 days, then maybe you should look at counseling to help you deal with your addiction.

You can figure this out. You can quit. I guarantee that once you have some a few months sober, your only regret will be that you didn't quit years ago.

I see you are sad about losing your drinking buddies and although you do not see it now, you have the opportunity to be a great example for others, to follow!

One of the first things I did when I got sober was in getting rid of all my drinking buddies. Being around them was a trigger to me and they understood this. Over the years, as I learned to live a happy sober lifestyle, my former friends saw how great I was doing and eventually most of them also quit drinking! Some even told me how inspired they were by my success! I often see them at AA meetings when I go and we talk about the good times we use to have and we also talk about the much better times we are having now!

Most importantly, we became friends again....not just friends but happy, sober friends! I wish that for you. Whatever path you choose to help you stay sober, if it doesn't help then keep looking until you find something that resonates with you.

God Bless

How are you doing? Please give us an update, thanks.