I was sexually abused from 7-14 and therapy for that period of my life along with AA helped a lot. I am 9.5 months sober. Fear has been a big one for me. Fear trust and self esteem. I can relate Ruby.

My sponsor had to sponsor me outside in her car for about the first 9 months that she was my sponsor because I wouldnt let anyone into my house or go into anyone else's house because of how much I distrusted people and how much they frightened me. Every tiny step forward I took was terrifying. But I had to make those steps. Therapy has been vitally important for me too but I couldnt just talk about things i also had to take action however small and slow.

Fear is an illusion-it is not real. SO, we cannot defeat fear, but we can remove power from fear by not feeding fear, by not accepting fear. I made fear all powerful in my life-it was HELL. Dwelling on what I was afraid of only created more fear. The more I focused on the terror-the more it grew.

So I accepted it-and walked through it. It is like a breeze flowing through me sometimes. I feel it, it is uncomfortable, but I know it will pass if I do not feed into it. I wake up sometimes with this old feeling of fear-and it is not pleasant. But fighting it creates more fear, so I just say hello and let it pass.

It is something I work at daily-and my life is so much more balanced now.

One thing I have done in the beginning of working on this especially-is to see that my fears are not grounded. And if they are-what may happen is really not going to kill me. ANd if it does-that is ok too. Nothing to fear, really. All in our minds.

congratulations on your days. Looks to me like you got the message.. we don't drink or use no matter what as for FEAR False Evidence Appearing Real. Did you know we stop looking for monsters in the closet when we realize they hid inside of us. Take the steps, get a sponsor then decide if you can trust her. It;s true, you have to change everything but not all today. Keep iy simple, last thing i know about fer is that the shortest distance to the other side of fear is right through.Just don't go alone. Good luck.

I am in awe of you - 222 days sober. You should be so proud.

All of these posts have been so supportive. I can say that throughout my life, I have had times where I was spinning my wheels. Therapy helped me when I went through a divorce.

Nicky's post is so interesting. I read something similar a few years ago and it really works - you act until it becomes a reality. So, you act confident and strong until you are. Everyone has their times where they have to regroup - don't go it alone.

Wishing you the strength to go forward with support so you will have a happy life.

Fear of the unknown to me is faith in a negative direction, Turn that fear around and point it in a positive direction...Faith in the unseen? We were at a turning point. We asked his protection and care with complete abandon. Faith is the character of God as I understand Him. As I draw closer to Him, He reveals Himself that character to me.
Seek and you shall find....
IF HE IS WITH ME WHO OR WHAT CAN DEFEAT ME...I`m glad I made a decision to be on God`s side...

...g

Since you choose AA to get sober its pretty simple like its been said here but will keep it short.

Get a sponsor, do all the steps and most of the fear will go away. NOT all but probably 100 times better then where your at right now.

Its all about wiliness, acceptance, and action.

Old Fear: F*ck Everything And Run
New Fear: Face Evertthing And Recover

Another AA classic...

You can't live on fear and faith at the same time - you gotta pick one.

I picked faith.

With all you've been though, I would think you'd come out " fearless", don't give power to that nagging voice in your head. You have faced the fear and are talking about it, don't give into that negative power. You are stronger!4

Ruby - just an observation. You often post asking for answers to your various issues and that's fine but what appears to be lacking is you responding to their suggestions with action. I cannot believe how many times people have suggested to you that you get a sponsor. I know you are scared but we ALL were. I would think that it might be helpful to ask about one thing at a time and only ask the next thing when you have responded to the answers given to you.

I think this is quite a lot of smoke screening even though you may not be conscious that is what you are doing. Maybe you should ask yourself what it is PRECISELY that makes you too afraid to get a sponsor. If you really are too afraid to get a sponsor then you have not understood Step 1 at all or you would be too scared NOT to get a sponsor. This is not meant to knock you! truly.

PM me if you want to talk about what I have written here or you could even chat me as we are both in the same time zone! I'm off now but will be back on later.

Best wishes

Lyn

Ruby - just an observation. You often post asking for answers to your various issues and that's fine but what appears to be lacking is you responding to their suggestions with action. I cannot believe how many times people have suggested to you that you get a sponsor. I know you are scared but we ALL were. I would think that it might be helpful to ask about one thing at a time and only ask the next thing when you have responded to the answers given to you.

I think this is quite a lot of smoke screening even though you may not be conscious that is what you are doing. Maybe you should ask yourself what it is PRECISELY that makes you too afraid to get a sponsor. If you really are too afraid to get a sponsor then you have not understood Step 1 at all or you would be too scared NOT to get a sponsor. This is not meant to knock you! truly.

PM me if you want to talk about what I have written here or you could even chat me as we are both in the same time zone! I'm off now but will be back on later.

Best wishes

Lyn

You have to keep faith on you Ruby. It is the time where you need to control your fear, not fear need to control you. Yes, it might be tough, but you have to overcome with your fear. Side by side you can also take voyance pure consultation. you need proper guidance at this time. Simply look at this once http://www.martine-voyance.com/consultation/. I hope it will be useful to you.

Yes a sponsor, but get a therapist if you can find one that you can afford or offers pro bono work.

The steps and AA are great for alcoholism and dealing with defects, but serious issues often need trained outside resources.

I love AA and credit it with my life change but as was said, it is not a cure all.

See a doctor AA can't help you with that problem.