Angie,

I am here beuse my Uncle and several friends were alxoholics.

The only thing I can teill you about AA is that I think it is great!

I am so proud of you for realizing it is day #1.

Hi Angie, I want to share my hard-won experience with you.

My heart goes out to anyone who did what I did for years in AA - rely on meetings. I did meetings every single day, was miserable, anxious, angry and obsessed with alcohol when I wasn't drinking, filled with shame and self loathing when I was. Whatever hope and identification I might find from meetings and others' experience, I still had to go home with me and my untreated alcoholism.

Angie, the key to everything AA stands for lies in finding a sponsor who has had a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps (Step 12) who will guide you with their own experience through the 12 Step programme of recovery.

My life changed when I asked a woman who was living a happy, sober and helpful life to take me through those all-important Steps. I knew her from a Big Book study meeting and I cannot emphasise enough how important those Big Book - and Step - meetings were for me. I stopped doing the other kinds of meetings and put my whole focus into the programme.

In a matter of weeks, nothing seemed changed on the outside but everything had changed on the inside and I have been free from the want or need or fear of a drink for some years now. What's more, I know a true happiness and contentment sober and I know exactly what I need to do on bad days too.

I found going through the 12 Step programme of Alcoholics Anonymous gave me much more than freedom from the obsession with alcohol, it gave me a new me and a new life with real meaning in which I can be of service.

It can happen for you.

Anatabuse was the only thing that worked for me. Been taking it for years. Learned how to cope rather than going to my 'liquid solution'

You know the deal. After 11 years in the rooms I hope you understand your responsibility in all this. No change = No change. You need to figure out why you are getting drunk. I did it because I liked the feeling even after all that happened to me. When I was finally broken and on my knees for what I hope to be the last time - I looked up and asked G-d for help as well as others. Life is not a bed of roses but today I am sober and I never want to go back. I know I am one drink or one drug away from a mess. I believe G-d has a plan for all of us - including you. I don't know you but I bet you have a lot to offer other struggling addicts. I would encourage you to get out there and be a servant and help others.

Angie73 Welcome to D/S, you know when we walk into thr rooms of Acolohics Anonymous there are no promises we have ever made that said if you go to meetings you'll never have to drinks again. Heres what we know for sure. Alcoholism is a disease. A disease of the body, mind and spirit. You could put your experience in AA as a learning tool. Going to AA and limiting your participation to just going to meetings is like going to a doctors office and sitting in the waiting room and never seeing the Dr. We just don't get any results. When we join AA and are willing to change the way we think we need to changeact. We cannot go about living our live thinking that AA alone will be enough.We have to be willing to do the footwork. We have to be willing to follow the suggestions of the others that went before us.e needd a sponsor to guide us through the steps in the Big Book. We need to be willing to change the things we do .We need to realize that alcohol has affected our head more than we ever realized. What we also need to do is surrender to a power greater than ourselves and ask him for the strength to make the changes in your life possible.
So to sum it all up we need toadmit we are alcoholic and our lives had ecome unmanageable. We need to understand that if we want to change the way we think we must change the things we do. (instead of setteling down after dinner to watch some TV. We get off our butts and goto a meeting) Share with the new guy that just walked in the door. Let him know hes welcome.We participate in our own sobriety,.Volunteer to make coffee or set up yhe chairs. Its just contrary actionwe do what needs to be done even though we dont want to, We develop a relationship with a power greater than ourselves simply because we need to depend on his guidance in dealing with life on lifes terms. We surrender our will and lives over to that power because the very best job we could do running our own lives brought us back to square one.
There is so much more to getting sober than just not drinking. Its a road we have never traveled before and we need some help to get through it all. And thats what sponsors are for and why we have phone lists and why we volunteer. we do all these things. We learn to pray and to ask for guidance in everyday things.
I dare say you spent a lot of years sitting in the waiting room. Maybe it's time to go into the office we call Alcoholics Anonymous and put your hand out for help. learn these 12 steps and put them to use in everything you do. If you do these things I guarantee that your life will change. And you will never lookback and wonder what could have been.
Please keep coming back.Some people in this room can benefit from your story and we thank you for sharing it. Greg

Hi Angie, were you in AA the first two times of sobriety? If so, did you work the steps then? Did they have an effect on your life? Did you work them with a sponsor you trusted?
For me, working the steps and continuing to work them makes a huge difference in my outlook. And that allows me to get through a day at a time not drinking.
That's my experience. I need a sponsor, I need he fellowship, I need the connection with a HP, and I need to stay connected through prayer and meditation.
I don't feel great every day all day, but when I feel down, I know I can get out of it and it lasts a short time relative to how I felt before AA.

Thank you so much for your replies. The analogy of going to the doctor's office and just sitting in the waiting room expecting to get better helped open my eyes. I don't go to meetings much because I feel so uncomfortable. I am going to go to one tomorrow and see if I can find a sponsor again. One that wants to be this time.
Thank you.

Maybe the alcoholism is just a symtom of a relationship problem from your past? Maybe it is time to look there for an answer. I think A.A. will then work fine for you.

Perhaps you might want to look at other programs for quitting as well?

Women For Sobriety was started by a woman who got sober in AA, who relapsed, went back to AA and found it she wasn't connecting to it, and ended up starting a program that is designed for women and encourages positive emotional and spiritual growth:
http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/

SMART Recovery has some practical tools to help understand and deal with cravings and desire to drink:
http://www.smartrecovery.org

Might be worthwhile to look at other support in addition to AA

I think I must also add a caveat here from my own experience which is that when I finally got sober, it was through the AA 12 Step programme alone. I found it mixed with absolutely nothing else I had tried.

For example, the last treatment centre I went to as an inpatient was following a 12 Step programme but I had quite a lot I needed to "unlearn" from there when it came to the actual AA 12 Step programme. Some of the information I had been given in treatment was directly conflicting and confusing with the basic information in AA's working text, the Big Book.

I don't know about mixing other treatment methods because I never got sober with them.

I was like you... had a lot of time and relapsed. I have almost two years now and keep my recovery first and foremost in my life.

Relationships can be tough. That was the beginning of my relapse which started years before I physically picked up a drink. Doesn't happen overnight. It was long and painful.

Get back to meetings, find a sponsor, and work the steps as suggested. It has made a huge difference in my life. The last 20 months has been better than all the sober years I had prior put together.

Wishing you the best.

The analogy of sitting in the doctor's office is helping me also. I was employing not only half measures, but quarter measures....I feel inspired to throw myself into this. Thanks for the thought.

I can certainly speak for me in that just going to AA meetings didnt work. I had to thoroughly work the 12 steps and be absolutely commited to them before anything changed. It wasnt overnight but with time. I havent wanted, needed or thought of having a drink for a good few years now.

Happy to answer any questions you have if you want to PM me anytime.