Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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gspbjj 04/16/2015

So I am new to this support group and just wanted to tell my story I guess. I got sick about 2 1/2 years ago which basically stopped me drinking. In college I drank a lot then continued to binge drink on weekends when out of college which then carried over to drinking every day after work. I realized how depressed it made me feel, how I would miss out on doing fun hobbies, it effected every free moment out of work and I guess I didn't feel like I was living my life. Basically I spent all my time sitting around drunk when not at work. Plus I hated the way I felt physically I gained a ton of weight and was weak all the time. I knew I had a problem but just couldn't quit. I would tell myself there are tons of people out there drinking its ok if I do it. Well the difference is those other people will go out with friends have fun and stop at a drink or two not get so drunk they black out. Anyway fast forward to about 3 months ago I was in the middle of wedding planning, dog was dying(no this is not a country song), work was sucking and just depressed. My bride to be went out of town and I proceeded to drink EVERYTHING in the house for three days. I would wake up and start drinking because I felt like crap from the day before and was all depressed about that. When she got back I basically spent the next two days just crying and telling her about every problem I have ever had and how I was so afraid I was going to end up like all my other family members as an addict. I don't know why she still married me she is so awesome. So I have gotten things under control after the wedding and will have a beer with her on a weekend and that's it. This week though...two night in a row I have drank too much and gone to bed at 7. I can see my wife's concern and for good reason. I just don't think I can do this one beer once in a while thing. Today needs to be the first day of no drinks. I am hopeful this works because I don't want to let myself down but most of all I can't let my wife down.

deleted_user 04/16/2015

You answered your own question. I have, at times, been able to have one or two. But, in the end, the disease wins and I end up binge drinking again.

I wish you peace on your path to sobriety and health!

paulokes 04/16/2015

People always told me there's not a problem in the world that drinking would solve and I relate to that. Like you, for me it's like throwing water on a Petrol fire; just spreads it around and makes it nastier.

Life isn't easy for me right now, with you on that one my friend but it is possible to get through life without drink...like you know, you had twi years.

Welcome and good luck

P

gspbjj 04/16/2015

I appreciate the reply pegrat and paulokes. Its such an odd thing drinking I know that I am going to feel like crap afterwards but for those few hours I do drink I am without care. I also remember how I would wake up everyday for those two years feeling zero guilt and had no problems. When I was sober even the biggest problems seemed easy to deal with because I knew I had a clean mind and a clean body. It's also interesting seeing family and friends who I know have a problem with binge drinking but its just a part of their "lifestyle" I guess. It's almost as if everyone around them are cool with it because they are still getting work, chores, etc. done. It also confuses me because I have admitted to my problem but I am put under the microscope while "Bill" over there is getting smashed all the time but since he has not admitted to his problem its somehow ok? I don't know if any of you have encountered this but its just odd to me.

Impermanence 04/16/2015

You did it before and you can do it again. Use that same power that you used to stop drinking 2.5 years ago.

jamesross 04/16/2015

Well, you sure know what the problem is. It's up to you to make the decision to stop. If you need help, it's out there. You can either keep fucking around and trying to figure things out, but you know what the problem is, and you will waste so much time that you could be enjoying things with your wife. I did the same, and wasted most of my life. it's not worth it. Have a good day.

gspbjj 04/16/2015

Yep Impermanence I just need to remind myself how great I feel without drinking. JamesRoss I like your reply so much. It's not complicated, confusing, or need to be figured out. Problem is drinking too much answer is stopping. Everyone gets stuck in their head and I think wiping away the cobwebs can make things easier to tackle.

1is2many 04/16/2015

I'm an alcoholic. When I start drinking I cannot control how much I will drink. I remember the first time we got some whiskey in high school . I drank so much I pissed my friends bed. I could not stop.

Fast fwd twenty years. I too got married and kept it together for years but it just ramped up little by little to when my last drunken night ( this time) I had drank a whole bottle and a 12 pack. I was beaten. I woke up and had two thoughts. One go drink myself to death. Or go to an aa mtg. That was June 9 12.

It is possible to live without the chain of booze.

C'mon
1is2many

Sosa86 04/17/2015

The same alcoholics who drank away their house and home, lost their families to booze and couldn't put a plug in the jug were once where you are now...so was I. Set yourself a part and put a stop to it NOW!
It DOES get easier! Pretty soon it's not an issue any more...all you have to do is not drink! And there is so much to be gained from that.

PJ54 04/18/2015

Hello GSPBJJ,

I used to hear people saying that alcoholism could kill you and I thought those people were talking rubbish. However, I believe it today and I have stood at the gravesides of a good few people who were taken away before their time because of alcohol abuse.

Alcoholism is a progressive condition so an active alcoholic will drink more as time goes on and will drink more often. Four drinks will become five, then six etc. and drinking a few days a week will become drinking every day. When I was drinking I did not believe any of that and thought that warnings about drinking too much were over the top and did not matter. Then I got to a point where I drank every day and no matter how much I drank it was not enough. That is the journey that you are now on and the choices that you have are simple. You can continue to struggle and hope for the best but it will probably end badly. Alternatively you can look for help and never have a problem with alcohol again. Comparing yourself to family and friends will get you nowhere because this is your problem and what other people do is not relevant.

Therefore, my suggestion to you is to find a method that will remove the urge to drink. I had to learn a new way of dealing with people, places and things so that I did not think about drinking when some problem arose. I found that new way of thinking at AA.

gspbjj 04/21/2015

I appreciate all the comments. It's been six days without alcohol and of course I feel great. Head is clear, feel well rested, and have zero depression or guilt. I think that is what I loved best about being sober for those few years was how good I felt all the time. It's always on days like this that it is tough because I feel so amazing and re-energized but then I think it is a great time for a beer. Going home today I know that conversation will happen in my head of wanting to have a drink and knowing full well I shouldn't. Downtime is my enemy in this stage and I need to occupy my time when I get home. I just keep reminding myself of how great I feel not drinking and how if I drink tonight I will feel horrible for the rest of the week and how it will effect my marriage. So I need to power on through...I think me and the dog will go for a long walk instead of having a beer.

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