Do you believe in death?

The advice I would have is rehab for as long as you need it. If you can't get into one today, then do it tomorrow morning.

Thanks for responding. Yes I believe in death. My mother died in my home 8/13. I can't go to rehab. I have responsibilities. I have tapered with success twice. I just can't get my mind around it now.

You can't go to rehab? Your responsibilities won't do you any good --- and they won't get done when you die of liver or organ failure.
I'm sorry but you know that's true right?
Go to inpatient rehab. Like your life depends on it. As it does.

If you keep drinking you have less than 40% chance of making it five years.

If you can't get your mind around it now, after a diagnosis of cirrhosis, then when?

If rehab is out and AA isn't the right program for you, can you see if you can get into an IOP or outpatient program? Will that work for you? You can also check out SMART Recovery.

Seeing as you are asking for advice and have ruled out rehab, I would suggest going back to AA. it is the most widespread and no-cost help available.

I have heard over and over that people cannot do the 12 Step programme because they don't believe in a religious God. It is a spiritual programme of recovery so anything you consider a Power greater than yourself is fine and I have seen people who are atheists recover in AA. I've had it first hand now because I recently sponsored one!

Meetings and face to face sober friends near to home are so helpful. You could call your local AA helpline and ask for a 12 Step home visit if they are available where you live to perhaps help you form a different view of what it's all about.

Take a fresh look and try to have an open mind as your life and health are compromised by your worsening condition. One of the worst aspects of alcoholism is the way our minds often work against us when we try to seek help.That is why you are still drinking in the face of all the reasons you have not to.

If you really, really want to stop you will be willing to go to any lengths to do so. I would suggest a thorough journey through the 12 Steps with a sponsor who will take you through it using the Big Book. The Big Book suggests it is done quickly so it need not take long to see if it is effective for you.

If you only ever attended meetings before, that was a start but in and of themselves they won't give you what you really need at this stage. Don't give up, sobriety is possible

As others have mentioned there are other programmes etc but I can only recommend what was - and still is - effective for me. Whatever path you chose it will need a total commitment from you. I do hope you take action before it is too late.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/real-life-stories/drinking-five-bottles-wine-day-2109462

I know this is a trashy paper-but the article and picture is a good reminder for me. I use to think that I would...

This was posted a bit ago here and it resonated with me. Look at this. You won't be able to do your responsibilities bed ridden. Make sobriety your priority. Hugs

The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, 'I've got
responsibilities.

Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

I have to wonder how well you tend to your "responsibilities" as a practicing drunk. Until you sober up, your "responsibilities are probably much better off without you. Get some help!

So lack of belief in something that according to you doesn't exist stopped you from being able to quit drinking with AA? I'm sorry but I know more than a few atheists in the program.
Rehab won't work because you have responsibilities? What priority are these responsibilities compared to your drinking? Obviously not very high.
Sorry, but it sounds like you would rather not quit - for fear of what life would be without the current god you believe in - alcohol. Get some serious help now - before your drinking kills you and destroys your children...

Hugs,
Dennis

Thanks for all the feedback. The harsh stuff and the kind stuff. You all are right. I am not fulfilling my responsibilities because most of the time I am hung over or unable to think because I need a drink. The diagnosis of cirrhosis is rock bottom for me and I should be determined more then ever to stop drinking. Dennis you are right. I am afraid of what a life without alcohol would be like. I've been drinking for so long, I just don't know how to function without it. (What do I look forward to? How do I unwind?) I have tapered off on my own before, but with the help of AA meetings. Thank you all for your advice. Is there anyone who is willing to message with me on a daily basis? I would really appreciate some support and accountability.

if a diagnosis of cirrhosis isn't enough of a wake-up call for you, then I really don't see how messaging with someone on the internet is going to do it.

You ask -- "What do you look forward to? How do I unwind?"

You look forward to being alive. Here is a discussion from another site that you might want to read.... Many of the posts will give you a bit of the picture of what will happen to you if you continue to drink:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Grief--Loss/Liver-Failure-and-cirrhosis-death--anyone-go-through-this/show/40139?page=2

I know how difficult it is to imagine a life without alcohol when that is what you know. it is a huge adjustment. HUGE. But you HAVE to stop drinking or you will die from it -- sooner, not later.

You say you can't go to rehab because of responsibilities. Please reconsider. Is there anyway you can arrange it? Can you get relatives to help watch your children? If you were hospitalized because of liver failure for several months, what would you do?

BTW, youneed to line up a support system for when your health deteriorates. If you keep drinking it will.

I feel for you but you need to want to stop for you noone else. I had bad addiction to drink and done AA thing a now go to adult groups,courses on computing, confidence building, etc which is good.

If you go to hospial or rehab they will give you a detox so that helps the sweats,shakes. Whats your name ? Fight for your life and family

My name is Julie

You don't need to believe in God, you need to acknowledge that what you are doing to yourself is definitely going to kill you. Its going to steal your kids Mom from them. You need to start believing in YOU!
Are you content with sitting by doing nothing while this disease robs you of everything, even your very life? If so, then your on the right track, if not, then get mad as hell and learn all you can about this and then FIGHT, FIGHT LIKE HELL! Eric

...You have nothing to loose, except your LIFE... I can not fathom being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver and STILL drink? Do whatever it takes to quit. Like you said, you have 2 kids that need you. Please get help for you and your kids. It makes no sence to drink in your situation.

Julie -
Since you have been to AA and used the fellowship to get sober before - what prevents you now?
You can use the boards here or a member here for a form of pseudo-accountability, but that is but a shadow of the power of f2f relationships and the real accountability they give in an alcoholics life. If you want to run away from all this - I'd run to a meeting...

Hugs,
Dennis