I dont think there's ever a perfect time to do that but maybe because he is in a support program it would be better? I was married to my AH for 25 years. He never went into rehab or AA until his third DWI. It was after he was sober that I divorced him. Too much pain for me too.

I can't "divorce" my son but I limit my contact with him. It has been heartbreaking.
He is ill, both physically and mentally but there is only one thing that I can do and that is pray for him and surrender him to his Higher Power/God.
I tried for years to help him.
A friend told me yesterday she was thinking of buying a home for her mentally ill/alcoholic/ addict son
as she doesn't want him to be homeless after she is gone.
My son is homeless after being evicted twice and now refuses to get on any lists for housing and says he would rather be homeless.

If I think too long about the situation I go to despair/sadness/regret/etc.

Thank you for your posts. Just got a call from him tonight (from treatment). Wants me to visit and bring our two daughters... when I said I'd think about it, he said that he was disappointed in my reaction. Funny how he's the one disappointed with me (as he calls me from treatment). What to do...?

You do what you want to do. If you don't want to go then don't and don't feel guilty about it.

I also left my husband after he got sober. His thinking never changed. In fact, it was more heartbreaking realizing all the chaos he caused was not just booze-fueled. It was just the real him.