Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
The other day, I was at a meeting of an organization I'm part of at my school, which is headed by one of my favorite psychology professors (Dr. W). Towards the end of the meeting, my classmates and I were planning to email someone to get some answers about an event we are hosting, and Dr. W said to Cc her on the email so she could "get snippy with them if they gave us any problems".
Now this is where I made my dumb comment - I said "and you would too", and what I meant was something like "You go, girl" or "you tell them." However, after I said this, I realized it sort of sounded like I was calling her snippy, or affirming her statement that she can get snippy with people. After I said this, nobody really said anything, so that made it sort of worse.
I am feeling so badly about this. I love this professor (she's an older woman, and is incredibly strong-willed, funny, and sassy, in a good way) and I always thought she sort of liked me too, but now I am worried I blew it with this dumb comment. Even though I made the comment with the best intentions, I am feeling so nervous over not knowing how she took it. What if she thinks I am rude now? I am worrying she will tell all the other professors in the department (I go to a small school, so everyone knows everyone) that I am a rude girl, and then all my professors will think poorly of me.
I told myself I wasn't going to come on here and ask for advice, since it's probably just feeding my obsessiveness over the situation, but it's been two days since this has happened and it's still bothering me to the point I cannot focus on anything else and I've been feeling physically ill (headaches, dizziness, etc). I don't feel like I can go back to Dr. W and bring this up, because I feel like it would just be awkward and weird, and I have no idea if she'd even remember what I said or if it was even significant or not to her.
I guess I am just looking for advice and maybe an outsider's perspective on this situation. Also, if anyone could tell me how to stop caring so much about what other people think of me, that would be great, because it causes me so much anxiety feeling that I have to be a certain way to be liked by others.
Thank you so much if you took the time to read all this.
Now this is where I made my dumb comment - I said "and you would too", and what I meant was something like "You go, girl" or "you tell them." However, after I said this, I realized it sort of sounded like I was calling her snippy, or affirming her statement that she can get snippy with people. After I said this, nobody really said anything, so that made it sort of worse.
I am feeling so badly about this. I love this professor (she's an older woman, and is incredibly strong-willed, funny, and sassy, in a good way) and I always thought she sort of liked me too, but now I am worried I blew it with this dumb comment. Even though I made the comment with the best intentions, I am feeling so nervous over not knowing how she took it. What if she thinks I am rude now? I am worrying she will tell all the other professors in the department (I go to a small school, so everyone knows everyone) that I am a rude girl, and then all my professors will think poorly of me.
I told myself I wasn't going to come on here and ask for advice, since it's probably just feeding my obsessiveness over the situation, but it's been two days since this has happened and it's still bothering me to the point I cannot focus on anything else and I've been feeling physically ill (headaches, dizziness, etc). I don't feel like I can go back to Dr. W and bring this up, because I feel like it would just be awkward and weird, and I have no idea if she'd even remember what I said or if it was even significant or not to her.
I guess I am just looking for advice and maybe an outsider's perspective on this situation. Also, if anyone could tell me how to stop caring so much about what other people think of me, that would be great, because it causes me so much anxiety feeling that I have to be a certain way to be liked by others.
Thank you so much if you took the time to read all this.
Thanks so much for your answer. You give such great advice and are so caring when you speak.
I just sent my professor an email now. I hope she responds well to it, and that I don't sound dumb for even addressing it (like I said, I am wondering if she even remembers it...it may not have even been significant to her). So I guess I could've just potentially made a fool of myself, but it wouldn't be the first time!
I will let you know what she says when I hear back. I think emailing her was a better option for me, because I would've been way too afraid to do it in person.
I am glad your situation with your teacher turned out well. I think it was good you addressed it. When in doubt, I guess it's always better to address things than to push them under the rug, you know? Thanks again for your advice and I hope you have a wonderful day!
My mind feels much more at ease now. Thank you so much for encouraging me to confront her about it. Your advice truly means a lot.
Now, onto the next worry!!!