Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
Hi, I'm new to this group. I have had intense social anxiety from a lifetime of being rejected by peers for reasons I still don't understand. I don't have agoraphobia but I do avoid going out in public unless absolutely necessary because I am self-conscious about my physical appearance, among other things.
So here is my issue right now:
I have been at the same workplace for about 4 years. 2 years ago, a new employee "Karen" started with whom I felt I had a pleasant rapport. We shared interests, understood the same cultural references, sense of humor, generally enjoyed one anothers' company. Since we started working together, some other new employees have started in our same department. She struck up friendships with several of these, becoming socially involved with them outside of work. What's puzzling to me is that she (Karen) and I seemed to get along just as well with one another as she did with the new employees. The only difference is that whenever I suggested we meet outside work, she has gently brushed me off or acted very ambivalent and vague about it. A year has past and she has since become very closely bonded with our other coworkers, has invited them to her wedding even. I was not invited, nor was I expecting to be, but it feels more personal since I found out her other workplace friends will all be attending her wedding as well as being generally involved in her life.
I am dying to find out what it is about me that she feels the need to keep me at arm's length. Again, we seem to get along just as well as she does with our other coworkers. I wish I knew why she has chosen to exclude me. It's become very painful, especially since I feel stupid for apparently overestimating how much she likes me. I don't feel like I can come out and ask her the reason, because it's awkward, it seems pathetic and desperate of me, and she's unlikely to tell me the real reason if she thinks it will hurt my feelings so I can't count on her to be completely honest. I also feel she doesn't really owe me an explanation; her thoughts about me are private. As they say "It's none of my business what other people think of me"
Does this situation sound familiar to anyone else? How do you cope with it? Any insights?
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I need some plot development ideas for a book I'm writing. Here's the lead in:------@1630 she texted me, asking for gas money. "Are u at work? I have to work in a couple hours I don't have any gas barely I was wondering if u had 20$ by chance haven't been able to get any massages in I'm sorry to ask was just seeing"She agreed to meet me at the townhouse @1730. I asked her to call me before...
Imagine that you are walking through a zoo, observing the animals interacting. Would you feel despondent about not being part of their society? Hopefully not. For some reason, this co-worker does not consider you to be part of her tribe, so find your own. Don't make anyone a priority in your life, who doesn't make you a priority in theirs. Living well (joyfully) is the best revenge.
P.S. You will occasionally encounter a certain type of person who only pays attention to you when you stop paying attention to them, and who spend most of their effort trying to impress relative strangers. This type of person is one that you are better off removing from your sphere of concern.
Dude I totally relate to always being rejected by peers. I understand how you feel especially to this Co worker. But my friend I want to remind you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you if they reject you there's something wrong w them! I and everyone else in this group accepts you for who you are and that's the most important thing; be yourself and the right people will respect you for that and the wrong people will want you to change. As for the Co worker my suggestion is to just be honest as that is what working relationships and friendship is about. Hope it helped man and yeah please do message me if you need any help! :)