Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
What I hate the most about this 'illness' is my inability to be completely independent. I am a 25 year old female and I've spent the last 10 years of my life trapped in my house by my own doing. I can't go to the shops by myself. I buy everything online. I can't approach someone to talk to them, dread the thought of anyone coming round and I suck at my job because I lack the confidence or the ability to walk outside of my house.
Hi all, so I've been a member here for about a month or so, but too scared to ever post anything. There's another thing about me, I even lack confidence to write something online. But here goes, my first attempt to tell you all a little bit about my story...
I decided to do it today because I am so fed up with myself. Been looking into getting a new job, but can't do any of them because they are too far away. I don't drive or walk too far outside of my house, so doesn't leave me with very many options.
I work from home in retail a the moment. Most of my customers are online and I like them to order small orders so I can easily pop it in the post box which is literally a block away from my house. If their orders are larger I have to ask my Mum or someone to take it to the post office in town for me, which always makes me feel guilty and they always bring up the subject of... 'have you been out lately?'
When I do leave the house, it's like I forget to breathe. I used to blame it on my asthma when people asked why I was so shaky or breathing so heavily, but I think they're onto me. As soon as I think about leaving, my throat closes up. I put my shoes on and I try to talk myself out of going. 'I can go later or tomorrow, when it's sunny.' I give myself headaches with all the panic and worries and this is before I've even left the house.
When I get back home, there's a huge sense of relief and I start to wonder why I ever worried in the first place. Nothing bad happened, I got to where I needed to go and came back in one piece. But it'll always come back the next time I need to go out, which frustrates me the most because I'm a bit of a control freak (majorly) and I hate not being able to control this part of me.
I used to have a full time job that got me out of the house 5 days a week from 9am to 5pm. I liked my office, small room, just me in it and one hallway attached that not many people used. I never asked for advice or help because my boss was in a large room, desk situated right at the end of it. And I hated walking down to the warehouse. The mere thought of that place now still makes me anxious.
I told them I was allergic to chocolate whenever they had birthday parties in the break room, an excuse why I wasn't there. (I'm not, it just came out of my mouth at the time.) And then I told them I don't celebrate Christmas when they were doing the secret Santa in the main office or the Christmas Raffle upstairs. I did have to attend one and I gave my ticket to someone else, missing out on the grand prize of a watch, but I was just grateful to remain at the back of the conference room, right beside the door.
I dreaded the walk to work in the morning and the office guys used to say 'you look so flushed' because of all my panicking on the walk there, but I always made it there eventually. The walk home was a little easier because my goal was home 'Safety' in my mind. I could have stuck it out there for years, avoiding all the social events, but I got made redundant shortly before the company went bankrupt, so now I work from home, enabling my prison.
So, that's me, sort of.
There are some positive sides to me too, not just my anxiety. I love writing, write my own fiction stories from time to time, not that I'll ever get them published. I love numbers, retail and balancing books. They're my own form of therapy and help to relax my anxious mind. Might sound crazy, but it helps.
Thank you for listening/reading my ramblings. Not really looking for advice, just wanted a place to release. Feel free to message me or reply with what you hate the most about your daily struggles though.
Now I just have to get over my anxiety to hit that Submit button......
Hi all, so I've been a member here for about a month or so, but too scared to ever post anything. There's another thing about me, I even lack confidence to write something online. But here goes, my first attempt to tell you all a little bit about my story...
I decided to do it today because I am so fed up with myself. Been looking into getting a new job, but can't do any of them because they are too far away. I don't drive or walk too far outside of my house, so doesn't leave me with very many options.
I work from home in retail a the moment. Most of my customers are online and I like them to order small orders so I can easily pop it in the post box which is literally a block away from my house. If their orders are larger I have to ask my Mum or someone to take it to the post office in town for me, which always makes me feel guilty and they always bring up the subject of... 'have you been out lately?'
When I do leave the house, it's like I forget to breathe. I used to blame it on my asthma when people asked why I was so shaky or breathing so heavily, but I think they're onto me. As soon as I think about leaving, my throat closes up. I put my shoes on and I try to talk myself out of going. 'I can go later or tomorrow, when it's sunny.' I give myself headaches with all the panic and worries and this is before I've even left the house.
When I get back home, there's a huge sense of relief and I start to wonder why I ever worried in the first place. Nothing bad happened, I got to where I needed to go and came back in one piece. But it'll always come back the next time I need to go out, which frustrates me the most because I'm a bit of a control freak (majorly) and I hate not being able to control this part of me.
I used to have a full time job that got me out of the house 5 days a week from 9am to 5pm. I liked my office, small room, just me in it and one hallway attached that not many people used. I never asked for advice or help because my boss was in a large room, desk situated right at the end of it. And I hated walking down to the warehouse. The mere thought of that place now still makes me anxious.
I told them I was allergic to chocolate whenever they had birthday parties in the break room, an excuse why I wasn't there. (I'm not, it just came out of my mouth at the time.) And then I told them I don't celebrate Christmas when they were doing the secret Santa in the main office or the Christmas Raffle upstairs. I did have to attend one and I gave my ticket to someone else, missing out on the grand prize of a watch, but I was just grateful to remain at the back of the conference room, right beside the door.
I dreaded the walk to work in the morning and the office guys used to say 'you look so flushed' because of all my panicking on the walk there, but I always made it there eventually. The walk home was a little easier because my goal was home 'Safety' in my mind. I could have stuck it out there for years, avoiding all the social events, but I got made redundant shortly before the company went bankrupt, so now I work from home, enabling my prison.
So, that's me, sort of.
There are some positive sides to me too, not just my anxiety. I love writing, write my own fiction stories from time to time, not that I'll ever get them published. I love numbers, retail and balancing books. They're my own form of therapy and help to relax my anxious mind. Might sound crazy, but it helps.
Thank you for listening/reading my ramblings. Not really looking for advice, just wanted a place to release. Feel free to message me or reply with what you hate the most about your daily struggles though.
Now I just have to get over my anxiety to hit that Submit button......
First of all accept that you are not going to be the most extroverted and popular person in town nor would you want to be.
Can you commit to a five or ten minute outing every day to desensitise you to your fear?
Also you didn't mention if you have a therapist, they have some wonderful tools to help you. Some even work online so you don't have to go out too much at first.
Good luck
I am 33 years old now and have improved my own social anxiety a lot, but for YEARS I struggle so much with dealing with these things. There is hope, and there will be success for you, but there will also be set backs. I am brand new on here, and am looking to find support from other people that understand how crippling social anxiety is. I have missed out on some pretty amazing people and let some friends get away because of it.
I hope that you will have great success with everything and that you will continue to post more. There are people that are interested in hearing more. Best of luck to you!