I don't know what I am going to do. I am on 30 milligrams of Celexa and 300 milligrams of Neurontin for anxiety. I was prescribed 90 0.5 milligrams of xanax a month but my does was cut down to 30 pills that do not last me all month. My dose was cut down because my doctor knows they are habit forming but when I had 90 pills, I only went through about 45-60 per month. She actually cut it down to 15 pills which was only .25 milligrams a day. I need at least .25 milligrams to get to sleep at night or I will be up until the sun comes out. I am also on 250 milligrams of Lamictal for bipolar disorder. The real problem is that I am an adult entertainer in a club and I know I am going to quit asap. I actually quit for 6 years but went into serious debt. I own a house and am in the process of starting my own business. I paid for school and paid off all of my bills. If I quit now, I will lose EVERYTHING, including my house. I would have been fine by now (I am 35) and started go go dancing when I was 18 but my ex boyfriend started smoking crack behind my back and stole $30,000 that I had saved. He also pushed my face into a door and almost killed me. I am so close to quitting (like 9 months to a year) but I have to run into the bathroom and throw up all the time. Sometimes I only make it to the trash can and throw up in front of all the girls. The girls are also caddy and mean. Sometimes I throw up when I know I have to work. I have to rely on drinking to get through it. I don't drink outside of work except for a glass of wine or two on major holidays. I don't do drugs. This has become so embarrassing and unbearable. I am afraid I will ruin my health (especially with meds and alcohol). I want to have a child soon but I can't if I lose my house. I already paid half of it off. I would end up on welfare. I know I am 35 and my biological clock is ticking. I am afraid I will throw up in front of everybody on the main floor. I feel like dying, please help me.