Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
Is there a difference between interruption and cutting off a conversation? How do you tell the difference in a conversation?
My thoughts about it are that interrupting leaves room to get back to a conversation, kind of like interjecting a thought.
Whereas, cutting off the conversation makes people feel like you don't want to hear what they have to say.
A little background, I have terrible social anxiety, and I don't understand interaction sometimes. I also have extremely low self-esteem and expect everyone sees me the same way I do. My boyfriend, on the other hand, asks a lot of questions and can be long-winded. We both are extremely forgetful. The reason for the topic is because I keep thinking about one of the last almost arguments that my boyfriend and I got into. We were discussing the payments for a small loan that we are getting. I was telling him that I would have to double check with the lender to see what exactly he meant, but from my memory of when it was approved, he said $50 payments per month. When I said that I would need to double check with the lender, my boyfriend interjected 'let me stop you there' and was getting ready to say more, but I went ahead and finished telling him what I remembered from the conversation when it was approved. After I finished saying it, I ended up crossing my arms and having a scowl, which absolutely ended the conversation.
When I started thinking about this, I was interested because of how I felt after the conversation. When I was sitting there I felt like I had to get through my sentence, I felt like he was just cutting me off and that what he had to say was more important. But as I have thought about it more, is that the case? Or am I allowing my self-doubt to say that he just wants to cut off the conversation and not go back to what I was saying?
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I don't think it was right of your bf to interrupt you with no explanation. After he interrupted, you were entitled to an explanation, but you didn't ask for one; instead, you resumed your speech, which caused frustration to both of you.
The advantage of holding your thought on the back burner while you get an explanation, is that if the explanation is inadequate, you have the option of asking for an apology or resuming your discourse, but in either case, you can politely regain the floor without interference.
Some people are prone to interrupt others. These people need training. We teach others how we will tolerate being treated. If your bf interrupts you routinely, I would suggest calling him out and drawing the line on his behavior.
I hope that helps. Cheers.
While I agree that it is hard to tell what another person is thinking, I am not sure if I agree with not interrupting or not. If the listener is not understanding what is being talked about should they not say something to get clarification...
In the original example, it may not have been clear enough, but in that almost argument, he interrupted to ask a question, but I didn't even give him time to ask the question. Just continued talking.
This was just one of my most recent interactions were both interrupting and being cutoff comes up. Many interactions occur with being interrupted, and some with being cut off (or feeling like being cut off).
Going back to interruptions... your opinion is that they are just not acceptable period, but are there any situations where it is acceptable. Say in social settings, with say a group of like 6 -7 people. Waiting for a break in the topic of conversation seems counterproductive if you want to participate in the conversation.
As I mentioned, when someone is telling a lie, the phore rings, or the house is on fire, it is ok to interrupt. If someone is hogging the floor and starting to repeat themself, it is justifiable to ask them to give someone else an opportunity to speak. In larger groups, hand signals are often used to indicate when you have something to interject, A polite speaker will try to tie it off when someone else is ready to say something.
Many arguments spin out of control when both parties feel justified in interrupting at any point in the conversation. It can get especially bad when some people don't listen,and instead just wait for a chance to butt in. When that happens, I leave, saying that we can talk about it later, but not now.