Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
Hi, I really have issues in this area and I want to share what's happened because of them, the extent they go to. I have been on this site for awhile now, from about 2006 I think, not sure, because this was not my first account. I have this pattern, where I gain a few buddies, we talk, we get close, and then something happens. Maybe they get quiet, maybe I say something that makes them take a step away from me, various things..
I think I had it in my head that online is 'safe' emotionally, crazy right? we are all just real people on the other side of the screen but there is a safety in it for me. I won't say a bad thing because I wan't talking to anyone and when I got on the internet 12 years ago, I started talking again.
But when those people go away, i freak out, I get scared, and I run , rather than watch them be quiet, or talk only to their other, new friends, I run off, delete, ignore, etc
This was one of the accounts I closed but I wanted to open it and come back and be myself. Otherwise what is the point?
I overreact sometimes...I get thin-skinned...but when I look at it I have received so much support here (and given a lot of it too). I'm grateful for that.
Starting with small goals, reachable ones. Today that means getting out the door, accomplishing what is on my list, and then when I come home, cleaning my house instead of getting back on the internet.
Thanks if you read this all the way. I think I'm a little out there and maybe on the internet that feels eccentric instead of crazy. I just want to be myself, and have friends that like me for me, and I like them for them.
I think I had it in my head that online is 'safe' emotionally, crazy right? we are all just real people on the other side of the screen but there is a safety in it for me. I won't say a bad thing because I wan't talking to anyone and when I got on the internet 12 years ago, I started talking again.
But when those people go away, i freak out, I get scared, and I run , rather than watch them be quiet, or talk only to their other, new friends, I run off, delete, ignore, etc
This was one of the accounts I closed but I wanted to open it and come back and be myself. Otherwise what is the point?
I overreact sometimes...I get thin-skinned...but when I look at it I have received so much support here (and given a lot of it too). I'm grateful for that.
Starting with small goals, reachable ones. Today that means getting out the door, accomplishing what is on my list, and then when I come home, cleaning my house instead of getting back on the internet.
Thanks if you read this all the way. I think I'm a little out there and maybe on the internet that feels eccentric instead of crazy. I just want to be myself, and have friends that like me for me, and I like them for them.
and I also have disappeared and worried people, so it's really easy to forgive and just move from this time forward.
Isn't funny this awful condition /phobia, where I can't stand to be touched and am dying to be touched, all at the same time.
Thank you so much for replying- it means a lot to me
I have realized that if I do not stay in touch with my DS friends and interact regularly, then people stop contacting me. Sometimes I am able to get back in touch with them but sometimes not. Sometimes I just get busy and am not on my computer. I also have spells when I am down and tend to get out of touch for a while. There are a lot of reasons why people stop interacting. I would guess that most of the time it has nothing to do with you. It is just the nature of interacting on the internet.
I hope you will stay on Daily Strength. You sound like a caring person.
I probably too try to avoid hurting anyone by exposing them to that side of myself. It feels rather like a monster.
I went out today~! I went to a group that we used to go to, me and my kids that I have been away from because of my fears. It went really well, and people I used to talk to , I was able to talk to again, it was amazing.
I am glad you and your kids were able to get out and able to go back to the group. I am always so glad to see people return and to see that they are okay and doing good. I think a good number of people in support groups do care. I just have such an issue with trust and knowing which ones are sincere. I am finding that I am making better choices in who I trust as I get further along in my recovery. I hope you are able to continue to get out and interact with others and that you have good experiences.
Part of the reason I wrote this thread is because I had a lot of friends attached to this acct and if they see this they will know it's not them, it's totally me that doesn't quite have it all put together yet. But coming back felt like coming home and fixing instead of running.
Yes there were a few bad experiences, but more good than bad, and I know that I am not perfect. I can bring some of that on like a lot of us that have been abused, it gets mixed up in there somehow, the things we go after.
Thank you again. I feel invisible, often, and today I cried to think maybe I am not