I have sort of the same problem, a significant other who is frustrated and not very understanding. And it is difficult. There are days when I have a lot of trouble going out, or even getting very much done around the house. I used to feel a ton of guilt over this. But then someone explained to me that in really bad phases of anxiety and agoraphobia, we go into 'survival mode'. All resources of our body and mind go into just making it through the day and dealing with our own inner pain. There is nothing left for the 'outside world'; going places and getting things done. I try to be more lenient with myself now when I'm having one of those days. As for getting your boyfriend to understand, I am still struggling with that one... But don't let him make you feel guilty. As you can see on this site, you're not the only one-- the illness is real!

Even therapists in my experience don't understand how deep agoraphobia runs.

We can't make anyone understand; it's up to them.

But this is NOT just laziness, trust me.

I KNOW.

I had "ag" for twelve years and ppl all around me thought it was all in my head.

Agoraphobia, I have known, can be from a lot of different things.

for me it was part of clinical depression, one of the symptoms being, I literally could not STAND sunlight. I could not stand looking at ppl, just MOVING hurt.

I can't really give any advice, but I can say that I have recovered from the worst of mine.

We all recover and deal with things ni our own way.

Everyone is different.

Time healed me, and effort to just try a little bit.

Dreaming of my favorite place helped, too.

Also, being tired of being stuck indoors with my roommate.

I am still not sure how I recovered, any more than I know how it started.

All I know is this is real, this is not a joke.

I got that feeling in my stomach when I looked at the front door.

Billi

Christina- thanks for your post.

Stuck- I've been so so bad before. still now all i think about is my "spot"(where i sit) It has taken me 7 months to get use to being out of the house 6 hours a day mon-fri. a job they call it. A Nightmare i call it. It is not just my door i fear. i fear the air wrapped around my house. I force myself out for this little pity job so i can stay away from the laziness stigma in others eyes. I take 2 mg of klonopin to make it through the darn day. I miss the safety of my house the anxiety gets worse the last two hours i'm at work, cus i need to be inside my house. And i'm exhausted, being this anxious takes so much out of me i have been completely useless to my family and i feel somewhat like a failurw to my husband. but back to the laziness issue i use to think badly and veiw it as i had self-fullfilled some dream where i didn't have to do the dishes or laundry and would panic when not in the house. then i realized i was really in the throughs of something bad. I thought i was lazy and thought that is what people thought of me too. then i was told i had a problem- Panic Disorder w/ Agorophobia and sometype of low grade but chronic depression. still after a years of finially getting use to getting out and driving there (it took 10 months for me to dial the office number)

Panic and Agorophobia hurt emotionally, physically and spirtually. it is hard to fight. try meds and therapy if you can. my hubby doesn't quite uunderstand yet he respects me we really havent offically told any other family members- and if they do find out i hope they support me through these times while i get better.

sorrysolong
Kathryn

The reality is anxiety is not something people easily sympathize with. I think the best strategy for this is acceptance. You should try to educate friends and family but don't let their opinions/attitudes distress you. Like every other symptom learn to cope with it and move on and get better.

Here are some strategies I use: 1) Get support from people who do understand. Talk to your therapist and join support groups. If may be difficult to attend meetings but you will see the rewards in short order.

2) Avoid your anxiety in conversation. Sometimes it's unavoidable but if you have a friend who doesn't "buy" into your anxiety then talk about other topics and do other things!

3) Share your successes! If a person is even semi-open to the idea you have a real problem show them you are working to get better. Share that you walked out to the curb last month and now you are going to the end of the street. Sometimes people become frustrated because they want to see you better. If you show them the results then they may be happy for you.

4) Don't be the wounded dove. Make jokes about it, speak with authority about your issues and don't be afraid to tell then to buzz off if they are being assholes.

i know exactly how you feel, although i keep my lifestyle and fears a secret. i feel so ashamed, like it's my fault and i should be able to 'get over it', as my family would say (although this runs in my family). i just posted under 'food addiction' how embarrassed and ashamed i feel about my life. i've never married nor do i plan to. i've chosen not to have children because i don't want any of my children to go through the feelings i have my entire life. i'm sorry i don't have any advice for you, but i certainly know how you feel. too bad those of us that suffer can't meet once a week to discuss our feelings! then again i'm not sure i could do that. grrrr... so frustrating.

great advice goldfish!
i esp. like the last line :)
have a good day everyone.