Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group

Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."

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Divorce and Agoraphobia

Sarah8974
Sarah8974

Hello, I am currently in the process of divorcing my husband of 16 years.  It has been a very emotional and psychological controlling marriage for the past 3 years.  I have lost all interest in all my old hobbies, things I've always enjoyed doing like swimming in my pool or going to the beach which is less than a mile from my house.  I am struggling with even wanting to go stand next to my pool.  My husband always forced me to in the pool with him when I didn't even want to be touched by him, almost creating a ptsd kind of feeling when I even see the pool.  Same with the beach, we always got into fights and disagreements when we walked which would then create an unbearable silence between us for hours and sometimes days.  We have absolutely no communication which is why our marriage is coming to an end.  I have always enjoyed being outdoors and in nature but now I fear being out there.  I can drive a car and go to the store and things like that, but when it comes to physically waking outside my house whether it be the front door or the back to the pool, I get anxiety and fear?  This is a completely new feeling for me so I'm not sure if it's agoraphobia or not?  Has anyone else experience this after a divorce or whil living in a controlling relationship where your partner always made you do things you were uncomfortable with?  Thank you all and have a nice day.

arfie
arfie
hello sarah. welcome to ds. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. this particular forum is not very active, but there is a good variety of forums to help whatever psycho snot knots are blocking the flow on whatever wave we are currently riding.

i'm with you on not knowing if this is agoraphobia, or not, but i have yet to find a more appropriate name for the rounds of this i go through periodically, especially during periods of tremendous change. when my domestic world goes topsy turvy on me, the world ^^out there^^ starts to look like more than i can handle. one or three of my pros have agreed that "agoraphobia" is as good a name as any.

in my own case, gently nudging myself out the door to find the changes i want to make in my life is, in general, the fix. alas, it isn't a one step process and i have to remind myself often to be patient with the process. change is hard, even when all evidence indicates it will be a change for the better.
hasty_05
hasty_05
I can relate somewhat but first I wanted to say please seek counseling for this as I bet there are some good ways to help this. Look for a trauma informed therapist practice if you don't already have someone. I don't know what you have but the symptoms of dread and fear about doing something we were made to do but didn't want to or like to has been something I have experienced. How I changed is I met a man who was the opposite of my ex and changed my mind about the activity I used to dread. And I was able to do a lot of self talk about how this activity was good now, the past was done, and to remind myself to look forward. Sometimes we look backwards and this is a huge thing to consider and start to change. We base everything on what happened before and think it will happen again but it won't. Things can change, we can change. But I bet if my good husband died and I met someone new and was considering a relationship or marriage, I'd be scared or shy again of that activity. Not sure if this makes sense but I do think a good therapist or psychiatrist work up can be ever so helpful. Abuse causes trauma and trauma changes the brain therefore getting to a good trauma informed licensed clinical therapist or psychiatrist can truly move the ball forward in our lives.
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