Adult Children of Alcoholics Community Group
A Support Group for Adult Children of Alcoholics
I hope someone reads this. I am in a situation where I was just betrayed and it had nothing to do with money at all. My sister simply always perceived that I got more love, when, as the article said...none of that was true...I just stopped holding out for their love when I was about 15 and started reading self help books.
I am wondering if anyone else has been rejected and betrayed by their fellow sibling just for expressing emotion? My sister has left over 17 abusive voicemails saying I am selfish, self absorbed, think it is all about me, and I am psychotic, etc.,...just for telling her that something she did on the phone where her and my husband went too far playing a silly joking game about things i do went too far. I did get upset, and I apologized for it, but I just said, "My feelings are hurt. Can you give me a day or so to cool off?" That seemed to "set off" a "switch" in her that caused her to leave over 17 abusive voice mails with me.
My sister rejected & shunned & betrayed me b/c I showed emotion over something she did and when I told her she went too far, she left over 30 abusive voice mails telling me I was shit and a bitch and that i was self absorbed...it was all about me, etc....And this is an old refrain of my mom and dad when I showed emotion or said my feelings were hurt over something...IT WAS SIMPLY NOT ALLOWED. IN MY FAMILY, WE WERE NOT ALLOWED TO BE A PERSON OR WE GOT ABUSED MORE. And then when I pointed it out to my sister, she just denied it.
And all I said was that she went too far in joking with me and I knew I had overreacted, but i was never nasty. I just said, "My feelings are hurt, but I will get over it. Can I talk tomorrow?" I never thought I would get this barrage of abusive voicemails and texts. IT HAS BEEN SHEER HARASSMENT. She also said she wanted nothing to do with me and if i called her back she would consider it harassment. However, I am so desperate to have her in my life even if the relationship is abusive and I know that sounds sad, but I love her even she hates me, b/c she is the only sister I have.
She also has cancer and is in a domestic violence relationship. I simply do not know what to do. What would any of you do? Or how would any of you react?
What would you do? Anyone? I really am not sure what to do.
Though she has deeply hurt me, I truly love her and she has nobody else in the world who loves her as much as me. I am also an empath and this pain is so deeply hard to process.
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
When I am faced with a confrontation like yours, I ask myself this question. "Do I want to be right, or do I want peace"? I always choose peace. If I stay in the attack and defend mode, I always regret it because I always feel like I am attacking myself and there is a reason for that. We are all connected on some level. So by turning and walking away from the harassment, I am at peace with myself. The other person usually apologizes in time. If I were you, I would not even open those messages and emails because if you do, you are just giving your power away to her and that's why you feel hurt. Don't do it!
This group below might be able to better help you:
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/codependency/discussion/never-saw-it-this-way
God Bless