Codependency Support Group

Codependency is defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for another person's struggles. A codependent person may try to change, or feel shame about their most private thoughts and feelings if they conflict with the other person's struggles. If you are on a journey towards self-love, this support group is for you. Join us and find others...

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Never Saw It This Way

sweets81
sweets81

My on and off again five and a half year relationship has come to an end.  I literally can't explain how I feel right now.  It's like a feeling of loniless and emptiness, like I've given the man every part of me and now I have nothing left.  The last tme he came back in my life was Friday November 13th 2015 and I never should've opened my door.  We were right back at it hot and heavy but something wasn't right.  He always came to my house and stayed for hours, some over night stays, and would sometimes stay the whole weekend.  I i later found out he was living with another woman.  Being in love with him the way I, I was hurt but I forgave him as he found an apartment and moved in.  We've been going strong ever since, but it still wasn't right.  I'm at his place almost six days a week and I still felt something was missing.  Emotions, appreciation, truth, honesty, loyalty, respect and so much more was missing from him, but I was giving it all the whole time,,I'm getting upset with myself all over again for being so attached I will finish this later..

SquattingSlav
SquattingSlav
I've been in a common law relationship with my partner for the past 15 years and the last year has been hell for both of us (she is an ACoA). She had what I strongly felt was an emotional affair, but being a good little codependent I "forgave" her to keep the peace and for the relationship to continue. Well, that lasted three months and in that time we went through a period of reconnecting and I even proposed. I don't think she was being unfaithful in any way during this time and she seemed happy we were together again. However, I Iearned that my forgiveness wasn't genuine when I saw the man in question at an event she and I attended. I exploded over a completely innocuous thing and just like that, we are on a break again, not likely to reconcile.

I am mad at myself for allowing the relationship to continue without dealing with the betrayal, perceived or real. I am mad that I embarrassed myself in public by losing my temper (there was never violence of any kind). I am mad at myself for not getting help sooner.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you sacrificed your needs to save the relationship, but you are at the end of your rope. If you are anything like me, you were able to trick yourself in the past and keep the resentment in check. The cat is out of the bag and there is no going back, most likely. You (and I, if I get a chance) have to choose to deal with betrayal like regular people by building trust over time or breaking up and then get help with managing codependency in the future. Just my non-professional $0.02. :) Here is to all of us slaying this demon and finally being happy with who we are.