When some addicts are questioned or confronted about their addictive behavior, they might use a psychological trick called DARVO to defend themselves, which turns the tables on the questioner.
DARVO is an acronym for the steps in the trick. The first step is to Deny the accusation, but it doesn't stop there. The next step is to Attack the questioner. In the end, the addict Reverses the dynamic by pretending to be a Victim of unjustified suspicion and surveillance, and paints the questioner as the Offender.
Have you ever done this, or known anyone who has?
"We’ve found that gaslighting is often not a conscious strategy on the addict’s part. They are concerned with preserving their relationship with their addiction(s) at all costs, and therefore are threatened by their partners coming near the truth. That said, whether this dynamic is intentional or reactive, the impact on the partner and on the relationship is extremely deleterious."
Many children of alcoholics learn this gaslighting technique from watching their alcoholic parent. The technique can be used by anyone who is accused of an unethical act. The bottom line is, while somewhat effective, the strategy eventually destroys the relationship, whether it is used to cover up guilt or defend innocence. I admit that I have used DARVO, before even knowing that "it" was a "thing". Now, whenever I feel the need to defend myself against some accusation, I stop myself from going down this road to perdition.
Mom's medical report from the home care is not correct. They have her down again with dementia without personality disorder and heart issues. She has neither!!!!!! For the past 3 years she has had every heart test there is and nothing abnormal has been found. She does have narcolepsy and ptsd!!! If she was 40 years younger, that is what the report might say but because of "her age" they...