Adult Bedwetting Community Group

A place for adults who still have problems wetting the bed to talk about their feelings, to discover solutions, and to talk about life in general.

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Relationships and Adult Bedwetting.

I've had this come up a bit on here...

Who all has had good and bad experiences with being in a relationship as an adult bedwetter. I guess I am looking for some hope. 2 men in my lifetime have known and neither knew how to handle it. One would get angry with me while the other treated me like a little kid because of it. I've wrote of dating completely because I don't want to have to tell a man I care about and risk him leaving because of it. So i just don't date. It was the easiest solution for me but it is such a lonely solution. Any input?

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

My bedwetting did effect what I thought a 'good' relationship should be -- secretive and non-commital. As I got older I couldn't hide it anymore. Each woman I told was non-judgemental and supportive about it, and it has been fine. My wife accepts my daytime wetting as well (which wasn't an issue previously).

You should date -- you deserve a relationship and so does the lucky guy. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Don't give up! There are people out there, like my wife, who don't make a big deal of it. I went back into overnight diapers in my teens, which as an young athletic male (football, wrestling, etc.) was beyond mortifying. I too have broken up with people because of bedwetting, but honestly (especially in college) it was me that ended relationships because I was too ashamed to discuss it after it happened.

When my wife and I first started dating, I went to great lengths to hide it from her. I stopped wearing diapers to bed because I didn't know how to tell her and how she would react. The first time awoke next to her in a wet bed, I told her I must have had too much wine, and she laughed it off. When it happened again like a week later, I told her I had the"pee" dream. After the third time, she said, "why don't you just wear diapers to bed?" WOW! She was totally cool about it. It was such a relief, pardon the pun, to get back in diapers and stop stressing. We've been married for 20 years now.

I know there are others like me who also have understanding companions. So, once again, don't give up. Not everybody will be scared off.

I hope this helps and I wish you luck. You can email me anytime if you want to talk.
NW47guy
NW47guy

I have been married for a lot of years and it was the hardest thing to tell my wife that I started having accidents at night. I was soooo embarrassed. I guess it was almost 2 years ago that I soaked the mattress, went to work, then returned home to take care of the bed so I didn't ruin it. I googled how to treat the mattress and washed all the bedding...it wasn't the 1st time but it was the worst...because of what happened I did have to tell her and it was soooo hard. She understood and I went to my Dr. and she understood and sent me to an urologist plus another specialist. Now I have support at home and my wife knows since I fall asleep in my chair at night that I need to put on protection by 9:30pm to be safe because I've soaked my recliner twice, once when wearing cloth protection which I found out is not nearly as good as disposable gell products and once when I wasn't wearing protection. Just last night I told her I set my watch alarm for 9:30pm so if I fall asleep if she can wake me so I can put on protection and she said ok. Nothing more embarrassing even now than carrying wet bedding to the wash...I still feel like I'm 7 but she doesn't say anything, thank goodness. I do have double waterproof pads under the sheets just in case and I wear a belted undergarment with a Depends extra capacity brief over that then vinyl briefs to protect. I go to bed before and get up before her so I don't have to worry about the embarrassment of being seen wearing protection. Even though she's supportive, I don't want to be seen wearing protection, not sure why I'm like that but I think its because I feel like I'm 7 again but it all works out. I know it can work out, but a person just has to let the other person know that their is a function in the body that no longer sends the signal to another body part to get up and go to the bathroom at night anymore so because of that, proper protection needs to be in place to take care of things and the only difference is really the type of under clothing that is worn while sleeping, other than that, you're still the same warm caring person during the day and night. When intimacy occurs, instead of removing something lacy, you just remove something that is thicker and vinyl coated...after closeness has occurred, it's time to put the protection back on and then off to sleep you both go.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I am 26yo been in a relationship for a bout 18months I was worried,stressed out to bring it up with my boyfriend since he was few months younger than I my thoughts were he would reject me straight away anyway I told him and he was fine with it. Each time I would wet the bed he would get upset which I understand, it must be hard for them you know..he was getting tired and couldn't get his head around it. Unfortunately we broke up due to his violence.its sad as much as he used to take advantage of it knowing I wouldn't leave him because of my bed wetting and I was scared to think I could meet somebody else who will understand my situation. I am now single and very lonely!
deleted_user
deleted_user

I cry when I think of my chances to meet someone that I could grow old with and share our love.
adfw61
adfw61

I have now been married for almost 20 years and we have three great boys but I remember this so well. I effectively shied away from any relationships for a good few years. Then I told a female friend who was a nurse about my bedwetting, as I was going to stay the weekend with her family, and she very good about it. I also had a couple of instances when I had friends visiting when they noticed either the waterproof mattress cover on my bed or that I was wearing adult nappies/diapers. I told a small group of very close female friends normally when I was visiting/staying the night. Then I met my wife to be and on the first time it looked like the evening would 'progress', I simply told her. Quite often I would use a DDAVP nasal spray instead of wearing the nappies (the passion-killers!) but it gave a fearful headache, so in the end I reverted back to them. Relationship wise they are not ideal but they are definitely better than waking up in a wet bed in the middle of the night! We enjoy a physical relationship and I simply put a new nappy on afterwards. If you are sure that you are in the early stages of a relationship with someone that you hope will go further, I would tell them; and if they are not supportive or understanding then they are probably not the right person. You could ask your doctor for the nasal spray which is really effective, use that when you need to and then as the relationship develops you could pick your time to tell the other person. Whatever you do, don't lose heart. Hope this helps.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I have wet the bed all my life I was 17 when I meet a guy on line he was a bed wetter too we meet in real life at 18 he lived 15 blocks away he is now my husband and we both still wet the bed and wear diapers to bed i wear 24 7
NW47guy
NW47guy

My wife is very supportive of my requirement to wear my protection at night, I do believe it hampers our relationship and maybe to the point of us being more like companions. I think honestly that her seeing and or hearing them rustle makes her want to not get close. I wear a bed shirt now so she won't see the diapers on me, she'll know I'm wearing them, but won't 'have' to see me wearing them. It's a known hide of the diaper I do now. Maybe so I'm not embarrassed, even though she accepts my condition as, what she calls it, "it is what it is."
ST50
ST50

I am extremly lucky to have a wife who accepts my bedwetting and incontinence and doesn't see it as a problem. We still sleep together and as long as her side of the bed stays dry she isn't bothered that I wet the bed most nights and have to wear a nappy or pads. I was mortified when I started wetting at night again and worried what it would do to our relationship, To be honest I think it has made us stronger than ever.
charley69
charley69

I started to wet after a fall in 2013 I fell on some ice I was out cold.MY daughter found me out side on my back.that started my wetting My wife was ok with it.she was up set at 1st but got over it
giovannyfigueroa
giovannyfigueroa

tengo una gran esposa que me apoya siempre esta dándome ánimos, el uso de pañales es vergonzoso prto es una gran ayuda así no estar lavando las cobijas todos los días
jason181
jason181

Them guys was fools
iampadded
iampadded

I have had several relationships with enlightened women who didn't think it was that big of a deal. As long as I managed it (diapers and such) and did not routinely soak them and the sheets, it was not an issue.
bedwetter2
bedwetter2

I have been a lifelong nightly bedwetter for 33 years & wear rubber panties & diaps at night along with a rubber sheet. Now if I drink a lot of fluids I soak everything. I have had on weekends drank 4-6 beers & totally drenched myself & the bed.
bedwetter2
bedwetter2

So I rarely sleep with anyone in my bed with me.
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