Adoption Support Group

Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.

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Waiting to be a parent

duane
duane
Today is the one year anniversary of our homestudy...the completion of our adoption paper work. Last year we had such hope...there was one potential child waiting for us and then the birth father wanted a couple where one parent would stay home for four years and that one parent's occupation was an engineer, Which we did not fit either.
So I mourned the loss of not being a parent to that beautiful child but I do pray for her every day and I know that she has loving parents looking out for her.
Waiting is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
We are now waiting to hear from two CAS agencies about two different children...we have been waiting to hear anythign since last October. I really am not familiar with how long it takes for Children's aid to do things...does anyone know?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Duane, I assume by children's aid, you mean foster care. Are you in the US? For my wife and I, too old to be a first choice of a birth mom, CPS was a great path to a family. We made ourselves open to most races, siblings, and children under four. Our first placement was a sibling pair, 2 and 3. We had them for nineteen months. When we realized they would probably go home, we asked our agency for another foster placement, and had a newborn Hispanic girl in less than two months. Six months later, we were asked to take her 16 month old brother, and a year later, we got another newborn sibling. There's a pic posted on my profile. If you've been waiting several months, consider relaxing your criteria, and start calling every week just so your name is top of mind. Best Wishes!
Dave
deleted_user
deleted_user
Legal risk placement, where the child is expected to be available for adoption but not guaranteed, is the easiest route to adoption.
vectoman
vectoman
Every situation is so different and I agree with Daves advice.If you talk to many adoptive parents you will find that the waiting is the hard part because you are so eager to have everything final especially if this is your first.But the day finally comes and you can breathe easy.We have adopted Four and are working on two more.You are always eager to get the process completed.Good luck.
duane
duane
Thank you all for your advice. Unfortunately we can not join the foster program since they are full in our area...We did hear back from one of the CAS agency in our area and the outlook is looking good. Fingers cross!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Duane, I know how you feel the waiting is so hard. My husband and I are waiting for a placement of a child 2yrs old or younger. Everyday i pray we get a phone call but so far nothing. Well I have my fingers crossed and sending prayers up for you. please do the same for me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am a permanency worker in Central PA. My advice is simply hold on. I have been working with a family for two years and have seen their disappointed faces multiple times when things fell through. However, these experiences just strengthened my resolve to keep working harder for them. I am happy to say that next week I will be taking a 3 year old to their home!!!

I have to agree with the others that have posted. Relaxing the criteria you are looking for in a child and consider legal risk placements. Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dominique, have you looked into placements from out of state?
We live in Houston, and the number of babies that spend extra time in the hospital waiting for placements is astounding.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dominique, just saw that you're pregnant, CONGRATULATIONS!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Duane, my husband and I completed our home study in July 09 and we finally took placement of our little ones in May 2010. Ours was a legal risk placement, which was pretty scary, but the parental rights have been terminated so we are on are way to adoptive placement. Believe me, I know the waiting can seem like forever and we were up for a couple of babies but were not selected. Then we got the call for a sibling group and our prayers were answered. So good luck and keep the faith. God will answer your prayers!!!