Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
Does anyone have any suggestions .Our oldest son who appears to have RAD.adopted at 2 years old.led a troubled life and was placed in a group home at age 16.he is now 18 and is on his own.Our relationship has been up and down and reached it's lowest recently with the obcenities and I hate my parents on facebook.Wev'e had a little comunication since,some Ok some bad.I'm not ready to give up on him.whats next.Has anyone out there won this battle.
deleted_user
I'm not sure you can win the battle with RAD, but lots of kids still hate their parents at 18. Since he had to go to residential treatment, I assume he has some resentment for you and doesn't really take responsibility for his own actions. I'm sure there are very good reasons for his being in a group home. All you can do is love him, and let him know it. It's a shame that a child can suffer such damage at such an early age, and not get better. Does he have other mental health issues besides the RAD? Is he a legal adult, or do you have guardianship because of his issues?
vectoman
He is on his own now although he does get some financial support and help from people in ILP.He stays in touch some with his counselor from thhe group home.A good counselor too.He's renting a room from a couple who seem to like and get along with him.His plans are work and college but I don't know if he's following through.He was dignosed with ADD and had been taking medication for that before he left.
deleted_user
Is he distant because of the RAD, just resentful of being placed in a group home, or simply blaming all his own issues on the adoption? He's at that age where independence is more important than anything. The best I can say is be emotionally supportive of anything he wants to accomplish, but don't be a door mat and don't repeatedly bail him out of financial jams. The relationship should improve over the next few years. I have a great relationship with my adult son, but he wasn't the least bit interested between eighteen and twenty two or so.
vectoman
An update on how things are doing,We had a camp meeting at our church this past week and he got in touch with me and let me know he wanted to come.He came and visited with old friends and some of the family but not with his mom.It's a step.Last I talked to him it was fairly relaxed as long as the conversation was light.He stayed with birth family and came and went as he liked.He has the oddest way of telling me all the things he does that he knows I wouldn't like.It may be drinking or drugs etc..Things I wouldn't have told my parents.It's like he's talking about the news.He's hard to figure.I guess any improvements will be slow.
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